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Post by JACOB BLACK on Sept 12, 2009 23:53:58 GMT -5
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The noise of the moving air filled the room as the fan propelled the still air in the enclosed space. The slight breeze it was making felt good against Jacob's heated up flesh as he laid atop his bed. His eyes were shut, his chest softly falling up and down, but he was not asleep. In fact, he had woken up at least an hour ago, but he found himself wanting to stay inside his room. It was peaceful in here and he could straighten out his thoughts about, well... everything. The temperature of his room was kept as cold as possible since that was the most comfortable around him since his burned at a high one hundred and eight degrees. The black haired boy laid flat on his back, his hands folded on his stomach, only in his boxer shorts. His optics stared at his closed eyelids, only allowing him to see the darkness. Though his body was physical placed on his bed, his mind was in a whole different place. As it normally was, it was set on thinking of Bella. This time; it wasn't about wishing that she was only his, or thinking of the day that he first laid his chocolate brown eyes on her, or day he first kissed her and she realized that she loved him as well. No, this time his subconscious was reminding of the current events that had just happened between him and his Bella only a few days ago. It had started out with them talking so innocently, like they had always done with each other. They were goofing around, well, only Jake was at first to make Bella feel better since she was pretty gruff about her kidnapping and turning. Then things just begun to heat up when Bella teased him, not on purpose, but it turned Jake's mind to a dangerous notch. Even though she was longer that pleasant scent she once was, he still found himself as attracted to her as he ever had been before she became a vampire. She had kissed him and as much as Jake tried to control himself, his emotions had pushed his warning thoughts away and took over. Eventually he had her on the ground in only her bra and underwear, trailing kisses all over her before she darted out from under him. She had apologized and left and that was the end.
Jacob kept picturing that face of hers, filled with so much confusion, but lust for him at the same time. He wasn't sure if he had taken many steps forward between their relationship or if they had jumped back a strides. Since that afternoon he hadn't given himself a break from thinking about it. He dreamed about it, he thought about it every waking moment, and even when he took a patrol he couldn't get it off his mind. Seth had heard some of his thoughts, but the second Jake started thinking about removing her shirt Seth had instantly tuned out his alpha wolf and focused on anything else besides his thoughts. The images of her marble hard, but smooth flesh crossed his mind, despise the fact that he probably ruined everything about them. She would probably feel uncomfortable around him now that they had almost gone all the way. Although, she did apologize and say that it was her fault, but that didn't help much. The young vampire claimed for was sorry for many things, but even so, it hadn't changed the way she felt. She could be sorry for tripping on someone, but she would still feel guilty for knocking them over. That was a simple example, more from her human life than her vampire universe. Jacob smirked in his pitch black room, thinking about his Bells still being a klutz even when she had the powers of the most graceful, beautiful creature of all time. It was just like her and frankly, this man loved that about her. He loved everything about her. For a second he tried to bring himself back to reality that things might be changing between them, but his stubborn mind refused to let him. That is; until someone came down the hall and started banging on his door. Jacob ignored it at first, trying to stay in this happy place of mind, but the banging got louder and soon a man bellowed, "Get yourself outta' bed Jacob Black!"
Groaning in protect, the muscular werewolf flashed his eyelids open to his small confined room. A dark blue plaid sheet was draped over his body like it had been when he first laid down to just rest his eyes and sort of his thoughts. Whipping off the sheet, Jacob sat up in his plain black boxers and messy black hair. His eyes shifted over to his clock that shined a bright red 3:32 PM. So he had slept in until the after noon and than laid there in bed until three o' clock? How the hell did he plan on falling asleep tonight when he slept that long? Sighing at himself, Jake pulled himself to his feet, walked to the door and opened it seeing his father in his wheelchair, as always. "Can I help you?" he asked, running his hand through his dirty, wild hair. Billy snorted as if there was an obvious reason, "I'm not letting you lay in bed all day again. Go do something useful or work on some cars. You're starting to worry me, walking around with a blank face and--" "Sure, sure, Dad. I get it, alright? I'll go do something," he said cutting off his father from rambling on about his concern for his son. Jacob raised an eyebrow as if daring Billy Black to continue, but the old man, turned around in his wheelchair and started moving toward the kitchen, "Or even better, Jacob... Go see Bella." Jake scowled, watching his father turn the corner into the living room, leaving him in the hallway. How did Billy always know what to say to get on his nerves? How did he always know what he was thinking about and how he felt? Feeling irritated, he stumbled into the bathroom across his room and turned on the shower to as cold as the water would go. A nice shower usually calmed himself down and then he'd go fix up the wold motor cycle that sat in his garage and if he had time paint it.
After stripping down, the black haired boy stepped into the shower, feeling the cold rush of water take a wonderful impact against his fiery hot skin. The temperature of his body dropped just slightly, which made him feel a little more human again, but that feeling would never return. At most, the water only brought him down a degree, but the thought of being that much more to a human temperature was a nice thought. Jake let his body soak in the transparent fluid while scrubbing his hair with shampoo in attempt to get clean. "I don't even know why I'm taking a shower before I go into the garage to get greasy," he muttered to himself, washing the hair supplement out. Maybe it's because you're not going to the garage, his conscious spat on him, making him remember what Billy had just said a moment ago. Was it a good idea to go see Bella? Jacob turned off the water, stepping out and wrapped himself up in pale white towel. He moved back to his room, dried off, and pulled on boxers and a pair of fairly new jeans. What; are you scared she regrets everything about you? the voice echoed in his mind, as if it were taunting him. "Shuddup," he scolded it out loud; lastly shaking his head to get the extra water off his strands of spiky hair. Because you know I'm right, the voice disobeyed, seeming to chuckle darkly in his head. Jacob grunted, ignoring it this time, pacing out of the safety of his house.
Once the fresh air hit his nostrils and throat he felt a little better and more relaxed. The voice in his head hadn't spoke again, so that was a somewhat good thing. But weren't you supposed to listen to your conscious? Jacob debated over that while opening his garage's door. There was his current project laying on it's side, just asking for him to work on it. As he switched on the lights, the memory of Bella popped back up into his head. The day he had tried to teach Bella to ride a motorcycle slipped to his thoughts. He had showed her where the breaks where and she told him that she was ready to try it and he had let her. Bella had ended up crashing and he had pressed a damp cloth to her injured head. She had then smiled and told him that 'he was sorta beautiful'. A smirk crossed his lips before Jacob shut off the lights again. He was going to have to face or sooner or later right? It wasn't like Jake had been the one avoiding her; he was sure if was more the opposite way around. He had checked back in Forks a day after the beach event, but he couldn't even find her scent. So, one more shot in finding her couldn't be pointless. Talking things through would help... or, at least, tell Jacob how things were going to be with their relationship. There was nothing to worry about... "Except that fact that I hurt Bella and I knew I was the entire time," he interrupted his own thoughts, as if he was actually arguing with someone else. Growling, he found himself already walking to the forest, deciding to just get this whole deal over with. He would apologize and beg for her to forgive him for doing such a horrible thing and hope that she'd be okay. Well, knowing Bella it wouldn't like that at all, they'd probably bicker over who's fault it was. He went somewhat deep into the La Push forest, moving forward like a swift animal until he was far enough to shift. Jacob quickly pulled down his pants before he began to shake violently. With a burst of colors, Jake was in mid air and landed on his four massive paws. Turning around he clamped his jeans between his jaws and started to run.
It was a matter of seconds that he was out of the La Push forest and into Forks side of the border. He figured that if he crossed through the forest he would be able to get to town faster and if he had to, run to the Cullen's house. Jacob bared his teeth as the thought of having to show up on the Cullen's steps and ask for Bella. The last he wanted to do was see Edward. Edward would read his complicated, confused mind and then a whole new issue would start. His paws sank into the soft dirt because of his weight, but they didn't have enough take to leave a print before he sprang forward once again. Jacob was almost ready to head back to his human form and walk out from the woods, but a foul scent caught his nose. Bella? The nine foot russet wolf stopped in his tracks, sticking his muzzle to the air and found himself correct. His heart started racing, scenting the air one more time to conclude that it was only Bella who was out here. Jacob took a deep breath before falling back into his human formation, pulling on his jeans that he had carried in his mouth. He jogged forward, not wanting to loose track of her. Even with his sensitive smell, she could easily run off without realizing he was there and Jake couldn't keep up with her. It wasn't possible when he was in his human flesh. A fresh scent of blood struck the black haired boy, but it didn't stun him, recognizing it as some kind of animal's blood. She was out... hunting? The thought made him struggle a bit inside. His little Bells had to kill to stay alive? He didn't exactly like that thought, but he would have to accept it at one point; he had promised to always love her. Closing in, getting nearer and nearer to her, she soon came into sight. Jake had never found himself lost for words around the newborn vampire, but he also had never had a problem with her like this. Not even close.
Running the back of his neck, Jake said uneasily, "Uh, hey Bella." It wasn't the best of words to choose, but he had to get her attention first of all. He knew that when vampires were out hunting they could be more dangerous then anything elsewhere. Which gave him the current thought that she might even attack him, but luckily, his stench kept most vampires from wanting to even be around him, let along drink his blood. Jacob glimpsed around the forest, taking in the familiar details. The trees were rustling around from the breeze and the sounds of small animals scampering around could be heard. Jake flicked his optics back to Bella, unsure of what else to say. Perhaps letting her talk first would be best.
NOTESGah, that took forever to write Dx
But I hope you like it! It's better than my
last starter at least x3
WORDS 2445
TAGGED Jessi !
TUNES I'll Follow You Into The Dark
- DeathCab For Cutie <3 [/font] [/blockquote] |
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Post by ISABELLA SWAN on Sept 13, 2009 17:46:40 GMT -5
 WHEN I USED TO SLEEP I COULD DREAM,
of better places and i'd screamStaring at the screen of her laptop she sighed softly, trying to write an email to her mother was hard work. She didn't know what to say to the woman or even how to say it. Her mother worried about her to such an extreme extent that any form of wrong wording and her mother would jump on the next plane to see her and Bella didn't want that. She loved her mother and didn't want to involve her in everything going on right now, or put her in danger if Bella's control was suddenly lost by some extreme means. Bella had to be really careful, more careful then anyone thought she was being. She looked around her old room a moment, sighing softly to herself as she got up from the computer desk and moved around. It felt weird being in this room, she'd spent most of her time over at the Cullen home so she knew Charlie was glad to have her here with him. She knew it made him feel better to have his young daughter in his home in her room rather then out somewhere he couldn't see her. After the kidnapping his worrying over her seemed to intensify to a higher level, but he still wasn't as bad as her mother. That was one thing she loved about Charlie, no matter what he just didn't hover. She knew being in the house alone with him was probably a bad idea, but she knew Alice was keeping a close eye on er and would call her up if Bella even made one thought towards attacking her father; Alice would be here in a heart beat even.
That woman was so protective over her, yet Bella couldn't blame her really. Hearing her father's foot steps before he knocked on the door, she smiled a little. "Hi, are you hungry?" she asked him before he could speak, she enjoyed cooking for him and that'd be one thing she'd miss doing every morning. She'd thanked god that Alice had given her plenty of pairs of contacts, the venom in her system wearing them away quite often. "I could eat." her father smiled at her then and she nodded, closing her lap top and following him out of the room. She was still practicing the chest movements without actually breathing, so she wouldn't have to inhale around him and chance anything; so far she'd gotten pretty good at it. She figured watching Edward and the others so much at school kind of helped how she was doing now. Once they reacted the kitchen her father sat down at the table and she went to work cooking for him, they talked about things as she maneuvered herself around the kitchen. He mentioned something about her looking a bit more graceful, with a laugh of course and she'd just replied it came from watching Esme in the kitchen to which he replied that he'd have to thank her as it saved him on first aid kits. They'd both laughed quite a bit at that as she set a plate down in front of him and he asked if she was going to eat but she shook her head.
"I already ate and I've got to go meet Alice. She mentioned she might come back with me later tonight." Bella hated lying to her father, but she'd failed on going out this morning to feed as she was trying to write the email to her mother. The only way Bella could really get out of the house so easily, was if she mentioned something about Alice and then her father wouldn't really question it. Her father seemed to enjoy having Alice around, so the promise of bringing her around the house made him happy rather then wonder where she disappeared off to all the time. "Alright, I'll see you later tonight then?" Charlie asked her and she nodded with a smile on her face, leaning down and kissing his forehead before standing up straight and leaving the kitchen to return to her room to change. She looked over herself in the mirror, she still felt so awkward in her new body, luckily Charlie didn't seem to take much notice and the things he did notice she just told him that it was thanks to Alice or Esme, seeing as Alice loved making her over as it was. She took a quick shower before she left, entering the bathroom and slipped down to nothing but her birthday suit. She didn't want to smell like fried bacon and eggs when she went out to hunt, that probably wouldn't help any. As the warm water rushed over her cold marbled skin she sighed, closing her eyes as she remembered something she probably should have locked away in her mind and forgotten about. But the heat of the water, turned up a bit higher then it should have been, reminded her so much of that day at the beach just a few days ago. That weak part of her seemed to rejoice in the moment of the memory as she scrubbed herself up, nice and clean and free of the smell of fried breakfast meats and eggs. When she breathed in the smell of her soap she let a smile press onto her lips slowly, as the soap just happened to be 'ocean breeze' scented; again putting memories in her head she should forget but couldn't bring herself to.
"Stupid Bella." she scolded herself as the stronger part caught onto what the weak side of her was doing. She finished her shower and slipped out of the bathroom with a towel around her body as she moved back into her bedroom with that spurt of inhuman speed since Charlie was still down in the kitchen and the speed was something she was enjoying. She could still remember the time Edward had run out of the room to get something and back in even before the door was anywhere near closing. She laughed at the memory, the weak part grumbling in its defeat as she dressed herself in a simple short sleeved top and jeans, something she wouldn't care if she got dirty as she was going to be out hunting. And if she managed to get blood on them, she figured wearing a pair she didn't mind throwing away was probably a good thing. She slipped her hair up into a pony tail, to keep it out of her way as she slipped on her shoes and made her way back downstairs with a 'good bye' to her father as she was out the door. Edward had, since the moment they were together, wanted to get her a new car. But she'd managed to hang onto her truck for just a little while longer, she knew sooner or later one of them would probably abduct her poor truck and replace it's area in the driveway with some new fancy ride. Which was another thing that annoyed her, the way they spent their money; it was down right crazy. Course to a lot of people, it was just a successful doctor spoiling his children more then he should. So apparently to the outside world that didn't know any better, it was 'no big deal' but to her it was a big deal. She hated being fussed over and spoiled the way they wanted to. Slipping into her truck she decided to go up farther into the woods then was close to the town, for the safety of the humans within Forks and the close by towns. Vampires always did get a bit... insane when they were feeding. Meeting a vampire randomly one day wasn't nearly as bad as running into one whilst it hunted and Bella was no different. She didn't like taking the life of an animal, she loved animals quite a lot; but it was better then taking the life of a human by a whole heck of a lot.
When she reached a familiar parking lot, she got out and locked the door of her truck. She pulled off the coat she'd slipped on before leaving the house, even if she hadn't needed it and tossed it into the truck just before she'd locked it. She stretched herself some, looking around before making her way into the forest and letting herself move a little faster to get herself deeper into the woods. She didn't want to be any where near a road when she started her hunting, she didn't want to lose herself in the moment and go after an innocent driver or someone walking down the road. Once she was far enough in she took in quite the deep breath, letting the smells of the forest enter her as she tried to filter them out one by one until she could find something that could feed her morning hunger. She could smell traces of the Cullen family, but they weren't fresh enough for them to be in the same area at the current time Bella was. She was so glad for her nose, it was kind of fun to pick up smells and be able to know when the others were close or where they had been. It was quite interesting to her in it's own way, she was enjoying some of the perks of becoming what she was the way she had. She knew though, that if it'd been by choice as she'd wanted; she'd be enjoying them a lot more and with Edward joining in her hunt. She caught the scent of a few different animals, letting a vampire like smile play against her lips; she was beginning to give into her inner creature, the one that actually enjoyed the hunt in its own creepy way. She wondered if all other vampires had such a thing, but then again there had to be some reason they were driven to hunt so maybe they did; or everyone just had their own way of describing it. When the smell of a doe hit her, her instincts seemed to kick in; ones that were growing with each hunt as she stalked it. She felt so weird having to kill to survive, but human food no longer would keep her alive because in a way; there was no more living. Living meant having a beating heart and the sound of her own was only a memory she was trying to hold on to.
She scaled a tree, looking down over any and every area she could see from her current height. The first time she'd ever tried climbing a tree to do what she was doing, she'd fallen off it as her usual klutzy Bella self. Though her being a klutz let her feel almost human for once. Finally she heard the hoof beats and she jumped from the tree, tackling it to the ground and sinking her teeth into it. She could still remember Edward's words when he described animal blood to human. About how it was like living off tofu, you do it to survive but you're never fully satisfied. She pulled herself off the animal once done, looking down at it's lifeless body with a small sigh as she pulled a napkin out of her pants pocket and ran it across her lips as she could feel the blood on her lips and slightly on her chin. She hear the pounding hoofs of yet another animal and she still felt somewhat hungry, so she went for it. She knew sooner or later she'd figure out what made her full enough or at least how to get full enough without having to go after more then one creature. She went to tackle it, having been so focused she hadn't heard Jake come into the area but the minute he spoke she turned herself which was in itself a mistake. She missed the deer and smacked straight into a fallen tree, falling to the ground realizing she should have noticed that's what the deer was jumping over. What was with her, first the rock and now that damn tree? Though running into tree seemed to smack reality into her and bring her out of that instinctive hunting feeling, which could make her more dangerous then being a vampire alone. But she knew even in that moment and set of instincts she'd never be capable of attacking Jake. She got up rather quickly and brushed herself off, as it didn't exactly hurt only surprised her some. "Hey Jake." she spoke, simply for something to say because she really didn't know how to talk to him right now, specially after her little flashback this morning in the shower. "How've you been?" she asked, she couldn't think what else to ask and yet she knew that in itself was a stupid question; scolding herself easily for having asked it.
"Charlie was happy I was over to make him breakfast this morning." she mentioned all to casually and randomly, like she didn't really know what to say. She wasn't exactly the best in these sort of situations. She hated that things were feeling awkward between them, but what happened was kind of a big deal. They'd kissed before, so that in itself wasn't the problem though the fact that it happened should be the problem. It's what went down after the kiss that she felt so guilty about, even more so then because of the kiss in general; which had caused her guilt but yet another reason she felt so guilty was the fact she hadn't stopped herself or him from continuing until they'd be so close to doing what they'd almost done. She sighed softly as she moved closer to him, that weak part inside of her ever so happy to see him and yet that stronger part of her told her to stay put in case the weak part tried to start a fight inside of her again, which she knew if she tempted herself too much it would. But Jake was her best friend, how could she not be close to him? She let her eyes run over his a moment, trying to guess to herself if he'd been sleeping and how much hours he'd actually gotten if he indeed had been. Now that she was home there was really no reason for him not to enjoy a good nights sleep, though after the other day she couldn't blame him. If she'd still be human she probably would of had a rocky nights sleep, though Bella seemed to react so differently to things then other people did. "I'm sorry..." she sighed softly, she still felt like the entire thing at the beach had been her fault. She knew how he felt about her and that he wanted it to happen, so kissing him in the first place had started it all; there for it was her fault, specially for not stopping him until the moment that she did. She didn't want him to blame himself for any of it, because none of it had been his fault; or so she would constantly tell herself and him when he did blame himself. She let her hands come together and rest against her front as her head tilted towards the ground and her eyes found some random fallen leaf to stare at, her feet shuffling a little as she bit her bottom lip carefully; having no clue what else to say in that moment.
WORDCOUNT// 2807
RESERVEDOROPEN// for bella's air breathing pup (aka jake) <3
BRAINJUICE// blue collar comedy tour rides again, tv
NOTEPAD//
haha. idk, don't ask. this
was all bella's doing towards
the end really. =) hope it's okay. ^_^
i can't wait to see what jake does.
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Post by JACOB BLACK on Sept 14, 2009 18:58:37 GMT -5
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Jake shuffled his feet around beneath him, running his tan hand through his pitch black, wet hair. He had never really felt awkward around Bella before, but this time it was an exception. It wasn't because of what they almost did out on La Push Beach, but the reason that Bella was out here... hunting. She had to kill in order to stay alive and to Jacob, it felt wrong. He was glad that she hadn't caught the deer because then he might have to stand there watching her drink the life from the hopeless creature. Though, it was also amusing that she crashed into a tree, falling over; it was so Bella. Thinking about it, her eyes were slightly more lighter and golden than when he saw her at the beach, so she must of gotten some blood before this deer. Jake wondered what that was like for Bella; having to kill to keep herself in control. The black haired man kept his eyes glued to her as she got up rather gracefully and brushed herself off seeming a bit jittery. Maybe she hadn't scented him coming during her hunt so he had surprised her? Do vampires get that into hunting for their survival that they really can tune out any scents that they were focused on? Even the strange scent of a werewolf? Jake pondered on that only for a second as she said hey back, acting off. He couldn't blame her for feeling uncomfortable, almost anyone would react the same way.
Bells question followed shortly after like she was trying to cover up the silence between them. Jacob shrugged, about ready to completely spill everything that he's piled up on his chest for the last few nights and day, but he thought better. "I've been better," he replied bluntly, looking out the corner of his eyes, avoiding her gaze. Jacob hated that he came here without thinking everything through... he had no idea what to say or thought about how he should act. Emotions were playing around with his head, causing him to feel frustrated, angry, but also glad that Bella wasn't running away or avoiding him anymore. He didn't like it when he got upset around her since he put her life in danger. Jake had to admit, even though he was much better at controlling his rage and when to shift into a werewolf, he still couldn't assure Bella's safety one hundred percent. And if he couldn't assure that; then Jacob tried to do all he could not to have to make that risk any bigger than what it was, which meant trying to keep his temper at a minimum and stay collected. Jacob listened tensely to her soft words that flowed from her mouth that were quite random. "That's good, I'm not surprised... you're a good cook," he paused, "and Charlie can't really cook, so homemade food must of been good change for him."
It was sort of confusing; how Jake was acting right now. He almost seemed emotionless as he stood there, trying his best not to come off as desperate or upset or... anything. He didn't know how he was supposed to act around her now. Jacob had no idea how she felt about the beach now that she had a few days to think about her actions. He didn't know if she told Edward anything and the one thing that's been bugging him the most, what has that one misstep down between their relationship. Of course, Jake didn't really think of it as a misstep, but he was sure Bella was having her doubts on it. After all, this was Bella he was talking about here and where there is a Bella there are always debates and doubts. The vampire girl was his best friend and he didn't like feeling as though he was being forced to put boundaries between them. In fact, he hated the feeling. He only felt this way for Bella's sake, but inside, Jake's heart was beginning to rush at the idea that she didn't regret anything about hat happened on the beach. In fact, what if the part of her that had allowed her to be with him in such a way was growing larger? What if Jake was becoming more important than Edward? The muscular man liked the thought of that, even though it seemed like a very low chance, but he had hope. Or else he wouldn't still be chasing after this beautiful vampire in the first place.
Bella's eyes seemed to bore into Jake's, as if she were checking them. He glimpsed away, knowing that the bag under his eyes were still there from not getting a normal, good amount of sleep. It was true that his nights had been a bit rocky, but that wasn't something he could control. Besides, he had gotten a few hours in... that was good enough. Her eyes grew sorrowful and she sighed out a barely audible apology. Like Bella had said at the beach before running off; she knew how much he wanted it and she still continued to lead him on. She had known how Jake felt and she hadn't allowed her to stop herself, but on the other hand, Jacob wasn't incapable of stopping himself knowing how she felt. He may love her in a way that's inappropriate for two best friends, but he knew that Bella would hurt after she realized what she did. He was aware that Edward would find out eventually since he could read Jake's mind and that would cause problems. So, it was just as much as his fault as it was hers. Yet, at the same time, he wasn't sorry for it. He was ready to face those issues with Edward. He was ready to convince Bella that it wasn't a mistake and she shouldn't regret it. He was just... ready. "Look--" he cut himself off so that she wouldn't start to ramble on about her apology. Releasing a deep breath to let go of his stress Jake took a few steps forward, "Neither of us should be sorry for what happened." Jacob was only within a foot from her, narrowing his eyes slightly turning very serious, a side of Jake that wasn't too common to see. There was a different between him being casual and serious and that line was very well defined. "And, honestly Bella, I don't think either of us are sorry for it," he said with a slight confident grin that was barely visible.
It must be true; what Jake just said. If it wasn't true than why did she run? If it really meant nothing to her then why had she been trying to avoid him the part few days? There wasn't any point in arguing over who was to blame for it either because there was no answer. They were both to stubborn to put the blame on one another. Remembering the event between them he inched a bit more forward, trying to jolt that Jake part of her because no matter how small it was, it was still strong. He lightly put his hands on her shoulder, finding himself more comfortable with her by the second. "You want to know what I really think?" he asked, tilting his head to the side in a thinking matter. Jacob wanted to play Bella back into his hands and make her understand. He was so close to making her come out to him completely. It was all that mattered to him. Not waiting for a yes or no, he dropped his hands from her shoulder's and stared into her eyes intensely with passion, "I think you're just scared. I think you're terrified of picking me over Edward, but Bells..." he shook his head lightly a few times looking at the ground, "It's so obvious that you don't just love me. You're really falling in love with me," he clarified, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. Jacob could see it; that Bella didn't love him as just a friend anymore. She didn't just love him like a best friend... not after what occurred earlier. Yes, she had always told him that she loved him, but not in a passionate way and she had applied that in many ways before. But things change.
People change.
NOTES Trying to keep the word count down
and stop the mumbo jumbo (: I
think I did for the most part, Lol.
WORDS 1571
TAGGED for Jake's sparkling leech (bella)!
TUNES The Transition - Hawthorne Heights [/font] [/blockquote] |
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Post by ISABELLA SWAN on Sept 14, 2009 20:06:07 GMT -5
WHEN I USED TO SLEEP I COULD DREAM,
of better places and i'd scream Bella hated things being awkward between them, even with everything that'd ever happened before; things hadn't been this weird. But the fact that they almost did that on the beach, it just made emotions and guilt and all these feelings seemed to slam into her about as hard as she'd hit that tree. She hated things being weird between them, but after the other day how could they not? She'd let herself get so far into that moment, that weak part of her had a hold for so long that she almost did something that they shouldn't do. She was with Edward, she loved Edward and she was willing to give up her human life for Edward. But yet at the beach she'd given into those feelings for Jake that had festered inside her and she'd just plainly forced herself to ignore. She knew she cared more for Edward then was ever possible about caring for someone else, and yet ever since she got back from being kidnapped she'd felt more confused and conflicted over everything in her life. Not just about her feelings for Jake, about her life in general and where it was going to lead her now. She had to be careful around her own father for heaven's sake and she hated feeling like she was walking on glass around the people she loved and her friends. She didn't even want to risk seeing her own mother in fear that she might harm the woman, she wouldn't be able to live with herself if she hurt any of them. She knew it hurt her father that she wasn't really at the house since her return, but she wanted to make sure she'd be alright and today was a test of that and she had to say she did pretty good. Then again the whole time around him, she wasn't really breathing; thank god for the need not to.
She knew that one of the bigger awkward moments for Jake, must've been watching her chase the deer. The fact she had to kill to stay alive bugged even her, but drinking from an animal was better then from an innocent human. She hated that he had to see her like that, she knew it must be a pretty weird and possible horrible site to see. But lucky for him he hadn't caught her moments before when she'd been drinking from the first deer, though the smell of blood still lingered around her and she had no idea where she'd put the body. "I should've came and forced sleep on ya, like I said I would." she chuckled softly, smiling for just a moment. She hated the fact he wasn't sleeping and she was blaming herself for it. If they'd just had a normal visit between best friends, and not got so hot and heavy; he'd probably have slept like a baby now that she'd home. But no, she had to go and kiss him and no matter what he'd say she would blame herself for causing him trouble and rocky nights of sleep. Bella knew that time alone to think might've just allowed her to process everything from the other day, but running into Jake like this had to mean something right? She didn't feel like she wanted to run away and hide herself from him, she didn't want things to be like that between them. He'd been there for her through some of the worst times in her life and she owed him more then that really. "Yeah, he normally just gets take out or cereal or stops in at the diner when I can't cook for him." she laughed softly, thinking about when she first moved in with his father and they used to eat at the diner before she told him she'd do the cooking from then on. It'd been a fun conversation, with his little looks and short replies; talking with her dad was never hard to do when she managed to find something to talk about.
Bella didn't know what she was supposed to feel anymore. On one hand, she wasn't really sorry about the other day. But there was so much guilt inside of her, more so for that fact there was a part of her that wanted it to happen and to keep going. There was that stronger part inside of her that knew it should regret every moment of it to the fullest extent because she loved Edward and was with him. But she knew there was a side of her that cared about Jacob too, another reason she was so confused and felt so strange inside. She hated this feeling, she felt like something was tearing at her gut inside even if they failed to work any more because she wasn't human. For the last few days she'd wanted to just sit there and cry, try to realize what everything that'd happened lately meant and what it meant for her future. She was due to marry Edward, when things got back on track there. Then again he was still trying to prove he was innocent of killing a human but evidence seemed against him. Bella didn't know what to believe, she wanted to believe that her Edward could never harm another living person. Hell, when she'd cut up her arm at her birthday party he'd resisted killing her and he'd always said how strong her blood sang to him that the moment he met her he'd wanted to just sweep her up and take her off somewhere to kill her; no matter who saw. So how could he have possibly killed someone? Bella just couldn't come to terms that it'd be possible.
Bella didn't know if she was sorry about it happening, or just sorry in general that she'd been the one to start it. She couldn't tell you honestly, another reason she was happy her thoughts couldn't be read. If anyone knew exactly how conflicted she'd made herself, well she didn't know how they'd react. She'd hated herself for just leaving him there though, if she'd been smart she would've stayed and talked it out with him. But that weak part of her was still screaming inside of that she knew she'd probably break again if she had stayed; so it was best for her to just apologize and leave no matter if she felt bad about doing it. "I... I'm not sorry that it happened, alright?" she knew saying that was probably a bad idea but she just couldn't lie to him. Not when he had that look on his face. "I feel guilty as hell about it, but I'm not sorry. Though I know I should be sorry about starting it all and not stopping it because I knew that I should." her head was a mess right now, if anyone had any way of popping in to see her thoughts they scream and go running for the hills. That weak part of her was doing a dance in the name of honesty but that stronger, Edward loving, part was scolding her for actually admitting that to Jake because it seemed to give him more power then she'd meant for it to. But lying just wasn't her, she hated lying to people especially those she was close to so she just couldn't lie to him about this. No matter how much she knew that she should keep that bit of information to herself, because it gave him hope she knew she shouldn't be giving him because in the end none of it mattered. She was with Edward, she was a vampire and she was completely and utterly wrong in every way for Jake.
When he asked her if she wanted to know what he thought, she felt a little scared. The way his mind worked she didn't know what she was in for, but she just nodded her head a little anyway and listened to him as he continued to speak. "I've already picked Edward, remember; we're getting married." that stronger part of her brought up that fact before she could realize what she was saying. Then again she wasn't married yet and she was so conflicted and confused over every single thing in her life right now, not just her feelings or the fact they seemed to grow little by little. The fact that she was married yet could be used against her and knowing Jake, it probably would be. "Pup... I just..." she was trying to find words, his own hadn't exactly helped her in anyway. If anything it was making that weak part of her rile up inside and want to start fighting the stronger part again; though that strong part of her was fighting with her and telling her to just shut up and be a good girl and deny it all. But in a way she couldn't... she just didn't know what she felt towards him anymore, that weak part winning out the other day was evidence of that. "I do love you, but I'm with Edward...." she sighed, she couldn't exactly deny what he'd said but she was trying to work around his words in a way of avoiding answering it directly. She sighed softly, moving forward to wrap her arms around his waist as if to comfort herself because her head was spinning so fast she felt like she might fall over any minute and no matter what topic they'd been on or how awkward things had to be between them; hugging her best friend was a big source of comfort for her, laying her head on his chest as her body heaved slightly as if she wanted to cry.
WORDCOUNT// 1858
RESERVEDOROPEN// for bella's air breathing pup (aka jake) <3
BRAINJUICE// family guy, tv
NOTEPAD//
alright so idk what bella is really
thinking right now. but her inner
self was begging her to just hug
him. lmao. idk if its that weak part
winning or she's just giving up atm
and trying to get his mind off what
he just said. lmao. bella = awe! <3
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Post by JACOB BLACK on Sept 14, 2009 21:31:17 GMT -5
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After Bella left Jake there sitting in the sand, confused and concerned, he hadn't moved. He had stayed in the same spot for a good two hour, thinking everything through, which wasn't like Jake. Normally he tried to not think about what was bothering him and would just let life take care of it. But this was a much bigger matter than life because Bella was more important than life to him. Jake had thought about, repeating every action he made, everything movement of both of them, in his head; trying to figure out... anything. Why Bella had continued to kiss him; why he even thought she would allow him to take her. If Jake had been in the right set of mind, he would of been aware that she was going to end up freaking out on the last moment because of who she was. He would of ended up not being disappointed and frustrated if he had reminded himself that Bella wasn't like that. After the one hour of trying to put some pieces together, he failed, got up and walked home. Once he got back into his house Billy had asked him if everything was alright and Jake blew him off, moving straight to his room as if he was in a trance. He had plopped on to his bed, not caring how early in the day it was, and just laid there, closing his eyes and thinking. Thinking how unfair everything was.
The werewolf smirked slightly at the sight of her smile and her words. He did remember her saying that and he also remembered what his reaction was inside his head. The feeling returned; having Bella in his room helping him sleep, it just sounded nice. It sounded soothing, comfortable, and right. "Well, that invitation can still be open for tonight," Jake said, putting one of his hands in his jean pockets. He wouldn't mind his Bells being in his room at all and it probably would help him sleep. He wouldn't have to worry about her if she was right beside him. Jacob couldn't help but to let his smile expand when she chuckled softly about Charlie having cereal every morning since he wasn't able to cook for himself. "Billy's the same way, but he doesn't have anyone to ever cook for him unless he goes over to Sue's house," he replied thinking about Seth's and Leah's Mother. She was kind lady, but Jake did feel bad that her husband died of a stroke since he was a close friend of his fathers.
The awkward sensation had vanished like it was never there between the two best friends. The thought of Bella hunting and killing wasn't on Jacob's mind anymore. It was the words she just said about not being sorry for it. He had known that because of how she reacted on the La Push Reservation, but her confirming it boosted the small hope inside him that she would one day be his own. This time he wasn't trying to tempt Bella, he felt done playing games of showing how he felt. Now he was wanted to say it out loud and make her see that she felt the same exact way for him. Over the past years he had been doing the on and off dael with her, allowing her to take her time. At some points he couldn't stand it and lost control, kissing her, or getting upset with her, but besides that, he let her do what she wanted. Just like Edward did. Which is why it couldn't be too hard to make Edward understand all of this. It would actually be easy... if that bloodsucker really meant what he said, just wanting Bella to be happy, than he should just get the hell out of her life. Well, in Jacob's opinion that is.
"Yeah Bells, you should of, but you didn't," he pointed out, "which means you didn't want to stop it. Even if some of you did want too, you still didn't," Jacob pressed, taking his hand out of his pocket and curling his fingers in slightly as they hung down by his sides. He was desperate to get this through her head before he left or she ran off or... whatever did happen. Maybe this would end peacefully and it went the exact way he hoped it would. Jake's jaw tighten, as he felt his veins begin to burn with determination like they did offend around this vampire. "Bella, honey, you don't need to feel guilty. Edward told you himself that he just wants you to be happy and wants the best for you," he said softly with a shrug. The words were coming easily to him because the werewolf wasn't confused at all over Bella. He knew how he felt about her, even if she wasn't sure about him yet... so he could speak with a good amount of ease. "Judging by the way you acted at the beach... I would say that you were making yourself happy and in the moment I was the best of you," he mused shifting his weight to his other foot smoothly. "Or maybe I've always been the best for you and still am," he almost questioned it so he didn't come off too bold, but it was directly to the point, that much was sure.
His Bells mentioning getting married to Edward made him sick to his stomach. Jacob's fists clenched, like they did every time she brought that up, and he briefly shut his eyes in a weak attempt to keep himself under control. The thought of his little sparkling leech marrying that murderer set off his anger too fast, which could result to accidentally shifting into a wolf and hurting Bella. Even if the pale girl was a vampire now, it would still turn out bad if they came down to a physical fight. And that was something Jacob wouldn't mind skipping out on with Bella. "No, Bella, you were getting married. The weddings been pushed back because the Cullen bloodsucker is being accused of murder," he stated, "and you don't look to upset that the weddings been put off. Maybe because you really do believe that Edward is a murderer," Jake wasn't trying to be mean or rude, but it sounded as if he were coming off a bit harsh. That's how he got though, talking about the wedding plans for the woman he was in love with for her and a different man than himself. "Don't you realize that you can't marry someone when you're not completely in love with them? If marrying Edward is just a way to get rid of your love for me, than you're out of luck because it doesn't work like that. If you ever do marry him, you'll always love me too and that's going to be hell," Jacob growled, as he flicked his chocolate brown optics to glimpse at the ground and break away from Bella's gaze for just a short moment.
Jacob looked back up at her when she stuttered, not sure of what to say to him. Which was a good thing because it meant that she couldn't deny any of Jake's words. He wished that everything could just be simple or things would have changed in the past. Such as Edward never coming back when he left because then Bella would have settled for him and would of been happy. If that happened then she wouldn't have had to get involved with the Volturi because the Cullen leech wanted to commit suicide. Jeez, it felt like that vampire boy ruined everything in Jacob's life. Even as Bella sighed out that she was with Edward, it didn't discourage him in the least amount of ways. He already knew that when he came here, so why should it make a difference when Bella said it out loud? "I know that, or else I wouldn't even be here to make you see that being with Edward isn't what you want. Besides, that's not gonna stop me from anything." Jacob took one of his hands and put it on one of her cheeks, in hope to stimulate her confused feelings like he had at the beach... hoping his touch would just reheat her of her love for him. "Just for a few seconds... pretend that Edward never existed, Bells," he pleaded, searching her eyes for any emotion at all that would help him out. "I want you to think hard about this. Think about how much simpler life would be... how much happier you'd be without this stress and concern," Jake pressed, not removing his hand from her marble cold skin.
NOTES Look it, I'm still keeping it short!
It feels weird =.= well we can
both be sure that jake will be
fixing that soon. he's too bold
to let her avoid what he says.
he'll repeat a hundred times it
he has too. lmao. jake = madlove
WORDS 1700
TAGGED Jake's sparking leech (bella) !
TUNES Nothing [/font] [/blockquote] |
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Post by ISABELLA SWAN on Sept 14, 2009 22:59:27 GMT -5
WHEN I USED TO SLEEP I COULD DREAM,
of better places and i'd scream The thought of sleeping in the same bed as him, never seemed like much of a problem before. It was watching him sleep, sure a romantic thing when Edward did it to her; but it was just to make sure her best friend was sleeping like he should. She saw nothing romantic about it, at least... nothing she'd admit to herself, since nothing was really happening. "I suppose if I have to." she chuckled, shrugging her shoulders lightly with a small smile on her face. It'd be kind of hilarious really, though if she knew him he'd probably try and stay awake just to make sure she was still there or just because he'd want to talk to her. She didn't have a need to sleep anymore, she could bring a good book and one of those clip on lights and just read whilst he slept. He needed to sleep and she knew it, people got sick when they didn't sleep for certain periods of time or only for a few hours a night. Even wolves, since they were technically still human; she figured it was possible. "I think Charlie was happy when I moved in, less money spent at the diner." she chuckled, remembering the times she ate there with him. Remembering some of his friends she saw her first time there she sighed, glad Laurent, Victoria and James were dead for what they did to her dad's friend. That'd been horrible for her father and she knew having her there made it all better for him. Something she felt happy about, she liked the fact that she could cheer her father up; she knew having her decide to come live with him had been the best thing for him. No matter what she was now nor the fact that she had to avoid being around him for too long, just to protect him. She wanted nothing more to see her father live out a long and healthy life and not be a victim of a young stupid new born's mistake. Aka Bella deciding she wanted to take a nibble out of a human. She wanted her father as well as her mother to be safe, which was the only reason she wasn't emailing her mother to get her butt down here, rather she was emailing her to just stay put with Phil because she was fine. Even if Bella didn't feel anywhere near fine.
"It doesn't matter if some strange part of me wanted it, it was utterly wrong and I should've stopped it. It goes against everything I've tried to value in life." Bella was getting a bit angry now. She was with Edward, so being with Jake on the beach like they had been was a bad thing in her eyes. Or well, the meaning behind it; the action itself part of her had enjoyed quite a lot. But Bella never imagined herself to be the kind of girl to cheat on the man she loved and that's exactly what she'd done the other day. She'd given in to that small part of her who'd been wanting to do that, breaking her own non-working heart in the process. Her body was aching with guilt, wishing it could cry when she could not; no matter how hard her body heaved no tears came from her. She'd cheated on Edward, she'd done something with Jake that she should've have even if bits and pieces of her wanted to do it and wanted to do more then what they had been when she stopped herself as that stronger part took over. Did Jake know how much it pained her? To have a part of her wanting him like that when so much more of her loved and craved Edward? She was so racked with guilt and confusion and had no idea what she was doing any more. She knew, even if Edward just wanted to be happy; not being with him would break him to pieces and in turn it would smash her to bits as well. "What's best for me is being with Edward." she got the words out of her mouth, that stronger part inside her was winning each moment that Jake tried to rile up the weak part inside of her. Without Edward she was nothing but a shell, a shell filled with slight feelings for her best friend sure; but one over come with grief and heart ache even if her heart failed to work like it did when she was human.
"Jake... I was giving us both a moment we wanted, I let this little weak bit of me take over when I shouldn't have. It shouldn't have happened." She bit her bottom lip a moment, thinking back to those moments on the beach where she had enjoyed herself when she shouldn't have. She shouldn't have kissed him in the first place, it'd put their actions into motion but she should have stopped herself and just moved away if she was tempted. "You think that because it's what you wish, what you want. What's best for myself and everyone is if I hadn't come to Forks in the first place." and there it was, the fact that she felt completely and utterly worthless compared to everyone else and she'd let it be known that she felt that way. "I've done nothing but ruin your lives and apparently I keep on ruining them. " she sighed, admitting how she felt hurt her as well as probably hurting him but she had to say it. Cause in the current moment she knew if she hadn't come back then she wouldn't be putting them all through so much trouble. She'd be a simple human at home with an unhappy mother and probably be off in college or something. She wouldn't be here, confusing herself as well as her best friend; nor watching the man she loved being convicted of a murder she knew in her unbeating hear that he did not commit. Or at least there was so much inside of her hoping that he hadn't done it because not only would it destroy his family, it'd destroy everything Edward had lived for. He hated being a monster, taking human lives; which was why he drank the blood of animals. To have killed a human would ruin his belief in himself and he would think himself no longer good enough for his family or for Bella. But since the moment she'd met Edward she'd known there was no one else in the world like him and he was best for her, no matter what had happened since; no matter what happened on the beach she still felt Edward was her happy ending even if the events in their story so far didn't make it look that way. She loved him and nearly collapsed into herself without him, she could still remember the moments as she ran towards him in Italy when he was about to expose himself; her legs ached and shook like jelly but she kept running towards him because she knew without him she'd never be the same again.
When he started talking about Edward possibly being a murderer, she just got more angry. Somewhat with herself but at him as well for thinking that; she knew the wolves were against him because they wanted any reason to believe the Cullen a bad family so they could run them out of town. She knew Jake's reasons were more selfish, he wanted Edward gone so he could have Bella to himself. It wasn't that hard to tell. "I am getting married, the blasted wedding hasn't been canceled only pushed." she let the anger start to show in her voice. She actually felt some sort of an urge to hit him right about now but resisted it, because she never thought it'd be possible to want to hit him again. "Edward is not a killer, someone did something to him like they did to me. You think it's a coincidence he can't remember a thing?" she asked, glaring at him a moment. She hated the fact that he was so quick to turn Edward into some murdering beast when Bella felt in her hear that her Edward was innocent and someone was toying with them. Who ever had taken her had to be behind it, or some other vampire working with them. She could remember anything at all from that week, other then the pain of the change which still haunted her and the way she felt all alone. But other then that nothing came to mind when she tried remembering, just as it was with Edward for a few days time; he couldn't remember a thing. There had to be a reason behind it all and she was determined to find him innocent. Jacob just didn't understand how much this whole ordeal was hurting her, he thought she didn't look too upset over it; she was just good at hiding it away inside as she tried not being some weak little person any more.
"You have no idea how much this upsets me Jacob Black." She loved Edward and his family and knew it would ruin him if it turned out to be true, it hurt her so much to see them and Edward go through this and yet Jacob obviously couldn't see just how much it pained her, or he just wasn't trying not to because if he admitted to himself how much it was hurting her then he'd have to admit to himself how much she really did love Edward. "I'm marrying Edward because I love him Jake, not for other reasons. Don't go assuming it's all because of you." now she was quite angry with him. Assuming that was the reason she wanted to marry Edward was just far more upsetting then he realized; him saying that showed this selfish side of him to her that she wasn't liking right about now. Pretty much Edward had asked her to marry him and have a few more human experiences before she was turned; but being kidnapped and turned against her will had blown that out of the water. But even before she was taken, there was a part of her that decided she wanted to marry Edward because it was another way of tying them together for eternity; so in truth she had come to enjoy the thought of marrying him. Now, even among all the confusion and conflicting things of her new life that she was still feeling; she still felt like marrying him. She felt like she was being cruel to Jake and that was killing her, she hated acting like this around him but nothing seemed to be getting into that head of his and in some ways she still felt like she had to convince herself when she knew she should be a hundred percent. But she just wasn't a hundred percent about anything anymore; not her feelings nor her future nor even as simple as what she'd be doing tomorrow.
"I do want Edward, Jake." she breathed out, even if she had no need for breathing she still had a habit of doing. Then again she was so new to the vampire thing that she'd probably still be doing that for a while now. Bella knew that so much of her wanted Edward, from the moment she'd met him he'd consumed so much of her that there was no way she'd stop wanting him. "Apparently nothing'll stop you, you're too damn stubborn." she huffed out, turning her eyes in another direction as the weak part of her rejoiced for that personality trait of his. The weak part knew if he kept pushing and pushing there was a slight chance, but at his next words even the weak part of her had to gasp in shock. When he told her to pretend like Edward never existed, her body tensed and her jaw tightened like she'd seen Edward's do before. "Don't... don't even for a second make me think about that." she snarled, unlike the snarl she'd given him at the beach this one was much more threatening. She'd worked on a bit but never in a million years imagined she'd have to use it on Jake, pulling her body away from his for a moment but not nearly as far away as that stronger part of her would have liked. She sighed softly, looking up at him with a small shake of her head. "You saw what I was like without him, that's much worse then I am now; and you'd have me imagining it again?" she questioned, moving forward a moment to slap him across the face; but lucky for him she did it as humanly as possible. She felt instant guilt at actually hitting him though, falling to her knees as her body heaved like it wanted to cry again. She was so confused about every single thing lately and had no idea what to do about anything anymore and here her best friend was; trying to make her imagine a life without Edward when she'd so nearly died off without him. Sure Jacob did a lot to help her during that Edward-less time but she was still hardly alive with Edward gone.
WORDCOUNT// 2524
RESERVEDOROPEN// for bella's air breathing pup (aka jake) <3
BRAINJUICE// sex and the city, tv
NOTEPAD//
alright, so bella took over there at the end.
basically the weak part is giving him a chance
to comfort her in her weak, wanting to cry, state.
lmao. i was going to have her punch him, but she
couldn't so she just 'lightly' slapped him. xD
she's so confused, like a five year old who doesn't
know anything about the world. hehe. -hugs bella.-
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Post by JACOB BLACK on Sept 15, 2009 11:36:40 GMT -5
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It wouldn't feel weird to have the vampire watching over him in his sleep. If it was anything, it was comforting. Jake didn't know how Bella felt over it, but by the way she was acting it did not seem like the idea bothered her all that much. He was careful not to take that the wrong way, but it was hard; he was Jake after all. The image of her being there with him was thrilling, he could picture what it would be like. There wasn't any seats or chairs in his room, so the brunette would have to settle in his bed, right beside him. His bed was big enough so that Bella wouldn't be too uncomfortable being in the same bed as him, but Jake did like the thought of his bed being smaller so she would be forced to be pressed up against him. His bed was a queen size mattress because of how big his body was, height wise and muscle wise. Billy had finally given Jake this mattress when his feet were hanging over the side of his old twin sized bed that he got absolutely no sleep in. Offend he would wake up during the middle of the night muttering how horrible that old bed of his was and dropped on the living room couch instead. He smiled against her words, "Yes you do," he answered with lack of difficulty. Of course, Bella really didn't have to and Jake wasn't going to force to her to stay with him, not that he really could anymore. All she'd have to do bite his arm and he'd let go in pain. Luckily, the venom wouldn't effect him and make him into a vampire slash werewolf creature. Instead it would unpretentiously make him feel ill from the poison and that was it. And since he was the mythical shape shifter, the deathly fluid injected into his veins would be briskly flushed out of his system since his kind recovered from wounds at an abnormal speed. An example would be when Paul had gotten out of control because Jake had helped his Bells figure out what he was. Since Sam had ordered him not to tell Bella, he couldn't just disobey him, his body and mind wouldn't allow it, no matter how bad he wanted too. She had come to him the next day and told him that she finally knew what he was talking about and told him information on the vampires that had been around La Push and Forks. The information had been very critical so Jacob took the human girl with him to a pack meeting when Paul saw her he lost his temper. Thus, he resulted shifting into his wolf form and Jake had faced his pack mate head on without hesitation. He had won that battle without a scar left on him but Paul had a large gash down his forearm from Jake ripping his claws through him. Even so, that gash healed within hours, painlessly. It was a werewolf thing.
Jake nodded his head at her words, believing that Charlie was happy to have her back in his home. Not only because she was an excellent, or at least decent, cook, but because he probably missed having his daughter around. That's what Jacob imagined, at least. Anyone would be lucky to have such a wonderful woman in their home and Jake knew that, not from experience, but just by knowing who Bella was. "I wouldn't doubt it," he stated agreeing with her words. He was going to ask Bella if he noticed that she didn't eat the breakfast she just cooked, or if he noticed that she was a bit paler, but he decided not to bring that up at the moment. There was no point in questioning it because Jacob had known Charlie his entire life, so he already knew that answer. The man probably didn't even notice it since he wasn't observant at all and if he had noticed Jake knew that he wouldn't of said anything about it unless it worried him. Bella being pale was nothing new, so Jake couldn't imagine why it would make Charlie worry now about it. The werewolf pursed his lips together harder when she spoke, telling him it went against what she valued. Obviously his words weren't getting through to her the way he was hoping they would. He wasn't stupid though; the rage that was building inside of her was quite vivid, but Jake could still see it. "So you don't value me in your life?" he questioned her statement, keeping his face emotionless as best as he could. No emotions at all was the best thing to feel, but that was nearly impossible when he's standing in front of the girl he loves so purely. The thought of anger taking him over in a place and situation like this was out of the question. It was undeniable that he would destroy a few trees, at the least amount of damage, and accidentally hurt her. If she saw him like that than he would hurt her mentally if not physically. When Jake shifted to his russet wold formation from exploding of rage, it was scary. Jacob understood that she did cheat on Edward, but it wasn't as if that bloodsucker hadn't seen this coming. It was like repeating history.
The uproar in the vampire's mind showed even more as she spat that Edward was what was best for her. The poor werewolf had been told this so many times by her and had been rejected by her to many times, that he words barely stung anymore. Jacob wouldn't allow himself to give up and a few harsh words that were thrown in his direction by her. Plus, that statement in Jake's mind was just a load of bull. "Well, you're the only one who thinks that," he muttered, grinding his teeth together, looking at the ground. It wasn't only him who thought she would be better off with the werewolf, but the bloodsucker thought it to. In one of those rare moments that passed between the Black and the Cullen, Edward had admitted that Bella would be safer and maybe even happier if she was with him. Safer because Jake never craved to kill her for her blood and happier because he could of tended to her human needs so much better. Now that she was a vampire though... that theory had changed up a bit. Now she could be safer with him because the werewolf wasn't being accused of murder and she could be happier because, well, it was still Jake. The same guy who could a put a smile on her face and make her laugh when she was in her most depressed stage of her life. Bella called the part of her that went along with what happened on the beach 'her weak part'. So, that meant that Jake was the weak part of her and Edward was the strong? It was a little offending, but she had just admitted that there was a chance for him to get inside her head and find that little weak spot and make it grow. "Do you hear yourself, Bells? It's a moment that we both wanted; not just me. If it shouldn't have happened than why did it?" he said calmly, feeling a slight breeze pass through, making the wet hair atop his head turn cold. His pitch black hair was the only thing that was able to change temperature on his body. Jake's words were confusing, making barely any sense at all, but Bella would get what he was saying. It was almost as if he were reversing her words back on to her; something he had always been good at.
Unfortunately, what his Bells was saying was sort of the truth, about the best thing being she never even moved to Forks. But it wasn't the complete truth. She had made the bloodsucker's life much happier and she had even made Jacob delighted even if she had crushed his heart an uncountable amount of times. Without Bella neither him nor Edward would be living their life to their fullest because Bella completed both of them. As much as Jake hated to admit that to himself, it was the honest truth. "That's not true, Bella," he said softly in a hushed whisper, shaking his head to the side, back and forth, slightly as if he were disappointed that she would say such a thing. "You haven't ruined anyone's life and we've been over this before," he paused, "how many times will I have to say it until you believe me?" Jacob sighed, tilting his head back to look up at the treetops that covered them from the morning skies. His little sparkling leech hadn't done anything but make his life better and made him realize that there really was a point in life. She had helped him discover what love was and what it felt like. What could she be telling herself that made her think that she should of never come to Forks? It had made Charlie happy, her high school friends happy, the Cullens happy, him happy, and hell it had even improved the life of Mike. Sure, there a few minor set backs like the Volturi and the love triangle, but eventually those things will pull through just like everything else had. Jake couldn't exactly guarantee that, but life worked in funny ways and that's all he had to know to be sure. Releasing another low sigh Jake said, "You know, if you hadn't come to Forks I would probably be dead. So please never say anything like that again." Jake closed his eyes for a second thinking back when he had first gotten ill because of what he was becoming. He had hated what he was and he was miserable for it. He turned extremely cold and distant from everyone, but his own pack because he was forced to be attached to them. At that time and he had a choice, he would of pushed them away and let himself be alone and suffer. If Bella hadn't come to the beach the next day after he tried telling her what he was then he would still consider himself a monster up to this day. If it hadn't been for his Bells coming to rescue him from himself, who knows what Jake might of done. When someone can't accept who they are, well, that usually only leads up to one way out. And that why out wouldn't be a very pleasant why either. Jacob never really had the chance to think of it that way before now because he was much to focused on getting Bella to see what he truly was, but it did make sense what the result might have been if she couldn't figure him out.
Jacob's reasons were selfish, wanting Edward out of the picture which would be quite satisfying. Except there wasn't any proof that the bloodsucker had murdered all those people and plus, Jake wasn't sure if he wanted it to be Edward. Yes, a large part of him did want the leech to be run out of town, but what if Bella went with him? By the way things were going at this moment, it seemed like something his Bells would do to him. If she left him for that misfit one more time... he would loose it. Really loose it. His fingertips flinched when she said wedding and her steam with rising once again, but with more power this time. Jake didn't really want her to make her upset with him, even though it was quite obvious that he was doing just that. But he would do whatever it took. "Okay then, what does Edward's murdering have to do with the wedding? Why did you guys push it back?" he asked slyly, a bit of anger hinting across his tone. If Bella really didn't think that her bloodsucking fiancee was a murderer then why would they push the wedding? There was no reason too if she was so sure on that. It wasn't as if he was being trailed in court because it was only the Cullens and Bella who were suspecting Edward of it. They could just let it go. "No, I don't think it's a coincidence at all. All I know is that the bloodsucker's eyes were red, which means he drank human blood and really, that's all I care about," he said with a low, cold tone. Why should he care what happened to Edward? His eyes were red which meant he had tasted the red fluid of a human and that was enough proof for Jacob to jump to bad conclusions. The anger that was coming off Bella was increasing Jake's own anger. He wasn't sure what he was angry about exactly... it could be the fact that he was loosing this fight because Bella was still picking Edward over him, or it could be the fact the he even bothered to come out here in the first place. That stupid voice inside his head just had to make him come down here instead of working on that motorcycle. If he hadn't listened to his subconscious than no one would be mad at him right now. He had no idea how much it upset her? Jacob thought about that for a moment; knowing that statement was all the way true, but not completely false either. Bella had become much better at hiding her troubles and emotions with all the practice, but Jake was her best friend. When she spoke, he could hear all the pain in her voice, no matter how well it was covered, but he choose to ignore it. The werewolf didn't want to think that his Bells was in pain and he didn't want to accept the fact of how much she cared for the Cullen.
Jacob snorted, meeting Bellas gaze, "You really think that I don't understand? I get it, Bella and that's the problem," he admitted unwillingly. He just hated to lie to her, so he might as well let out the truth. She probably knew it somewhere inside her anyways; the little weak part of her had to know. "Remember who you're talking to; I think I can tell how upset you are over something," he murmured more to himself than to her. That's what bothered him the most, that she was beginning to fall all over again into the darkness because of that one man. Jacob hated it. He hated that she loved him that much and he had just told her that out loud. Even though it he didn't do it in a blunt way, he still implied it. He rolled his eyes at her next comment in a childish way, his ego still egging him on. He did partly assume that she was marrying Edward because of him, because if she married the cold one, she had set her future and stone, making her feel secure. That's all Edward did; was make sure that her life was secure. Maybe she did really love him, but maybe not as much as she thought she did. "Sure, sure," he replied in a nonchalance way, acting as though he still didn't believe her. Which he didn't. He let his eyes glide away from her gaze and looked into the deepness of the woods he stood in. He didn't come this way to patrol to offend, so the land wasn't too familiar, not like the border of La Push and Forks was. Although his facial expression was calm, his voice had still held that aggressive tone, making him scold himself. Jacob knew better than to talk to Bella with such a tone because no matter how hard her body was, she was still that delicate little girl he's always known and loved. Seeing her misery build was like Jake's personal punishment for loving her and refusing to give up his love, which just caused her more pain and confusion, which caused him more torture and that pattern kept on repeating.
Bella's words that carried over to him by the breeze didn't make Jake believe her any more about her love for Edward. He was always going to doubt it, so there wasn't any point in trying to argue or prove to him that the leech was her soul mate. "But you also want me," he countered narrowing his eyes, frustration starting to boil within him. Jake already knew that was true because she had already said that she loved him. That she didn't regret what happened in the past event between them on the beach. He was giving his all; doing everything he could to bring that weak part out of her more. When she called him stubborn, it wasn't like how she said it a few days ago when she said in a light, almost playful matter. Now she seemed mad about it, which could be a good or bad thing. A good thing because it proved to Jake that she really was trying to set herself in denial, but a bad thing because for the various reason, it was getting her pissed. "Yeah, well, I wouldn't have to be if you'd stop being stubborn," he mused, flicking his optics to meet her topaz ones that held of only rage now. Bella removed his hand from her marble cheek and instant pain washed over her face before he could take back his words. Damn... he knew better than to bring that up. Jake sighed, hearing her gasp in utter shock and disbelief he would try to make her feel that way again. Like he told himself many times before: he would do anything to get her to return his feelings. He didn't have time to put in a word before she slapped him across the face. It wasn't as hard as she could have slapped him, but it was with enough force to make the werewolf stumble back into the tree that stood a few feet behind him.
When his back hit the tree, he sank to the ground, feeling dazed from the sudden impact. Since he was used to be shoved around by his back and friends, it only took him within seconds to recover from it. He didn't bother standing up as his Bells fell to her knees and her chest started heaving as though she was crying. Christ, look what he did now. Jacob swore under his breath, shutting his eyes and leaning his head against the tree for a second. He was guilty for making her feel this agony, he was selfish and dispassionate. Jacob's hands began to tremble as she eyelids stayed slammed shut in effort to control himself. Unlike the beach where Jacob had a small melt down where Bella didn't see him because she had been covering her face, she was looking this time. Jake struggling not to growl at himself in explosion of outrage, but he wasn't able to stop shaking. "Damn it, Jake," he snapped at himself, baring his teeth. Taking in a few deep breaths he got his arms to stop trembling and his anger subsided back into his control once again. He was getting better at it. Sort of. Jacob had warned Bella once that she shouldn't ever get him upset, but this time it was his fault because even though her words had made him upset, it was his thoughts that drove him over the edge. Not only that, the blame could be put on him because Jake had told her to imagine life without Edward. Which he knew was a mistake from the beginning, but he was desperate for her. Wasn't that excuse enough? The werewolf slowly pushed himself from off the ground, touching his face lightly where her hand had came across. It wasn't sore and there wouldn't be a bruise or scar because of his fast healing powers. But there was no doubt that since Bella became a vampire she was more dangerous to him. That hit was a hell lot worse than that punch from that year ago. Jacob walked up to Bella and knelt down in front of her, acting as though she had never slapped him in the first place. It was funny how those little things didn't matter to Jake when any other guys would be screaming at the girl for hitting him. Maybe Jacob just needed to wake up and see reality. "Bella..." he trailed off with a noticeable sigh, not caring how bad she scented up this close. "I'm... sorry. I shouldn't of mentioned it," he said in a muffled voice that was soothing and calm. "I'm so sorry Bells," he whispered finding himself on instinct wrapping his arms around her in a tight hug. She could push him away if she wanted, but Jake couldn't help but to comfort her. The reason being? Because Jacob Black fights for the girl he loves.
NOTES
OMFG. i hate myself. i cant believe
i just wrote that much. i feel like a
bad person now. but i was laying in
bed all sick and i had nothing else
to do and my inner jake was all in my
face and - -and- - and Dx kaite's a
bad girl. try not to hate me too much.
i just got really into jakes character xP
at the end my inner jake snapped out
of the whole dissing edward thing. it was
fun while it lasted, hehe. <3 but it didn't
last long cause bella would've killed him.
WORDS 3878.
TAGGED jakes little sparking leech (bella)!
TUNES famous last words - my chemical romance [/font] [/blockquote] |
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Post by ISABELLA SWAN on Sept 15, 2009 14:47:44 GMT -5
WHEN I USED TO SLEEP I COULD DREAM,
of better places and i'd scream Bella hated her recent mood changes, they were bugging the crap out of her and apparently Jasper as well. But she couldn't help it, she felt so weird and so strange ever since she'd gotten back. People just didn't understand what she felt, they'd have their own problems and some of them could relate to her experience in a way but not completely. Bella loved being here in Forks, she'd created her best and worst memories by coming here. Jacob was one of her best friends in the entire world, so if she had to be there to get him to sleep then she supposed every now and then it really wouldn't hurt. "Alright, but if you get frisky in your sleep I reserve the right to push you off the bed." she chuckled softly as the image flashed in her head and she imagined him being pushed off and onto the floor with a thud. If anything, it'd be a loud enough thud Billy would come wheeling in thinking something bad had happened. That'd be kind of hilarious, in it's own way; she'd probably laugh her but off if it really ended up like that. It might be weird to the others because well, she'd be in bed with another man other then Edward; but to her it's just as simple as sitting there and watching to make sure he actually sleeps. Bella didn't feel like she herself was being forced to do it, she knew that it was a way of helping out a friend in need and she'd always tried to do what's best for her friends; at least in some aspects. "Of course I value you Jacob, don't be stupid; you know that I do. I just meant that, I never thought I'd be that type of girl." if he was as smart as she figured him for, he'd know what she meant by it. She was with someone, engaged to be married and yet she'd been getting frisky with another man. That just... didn't feel like Bella, kissing Jake before had been one thing. With the newborn army she'd just, let it happen; let him kiss her without much thought because it gave him what he wanted and made him fight a lot harder. In other aspects she had no idea what was best for anyone at all, even herself. But she felt like what was best for her was Edward and she'd stick by that no matter what because that's what that stronger part inside of her told her day in and day out even if the weak little bits of her got in a win now and then which wasn't fair to any of them let alone Jake.
That weak little part was confusing her, but if it was doing this much damage to her how much had it been doing to him to watch? Jake loved Bella and every moment he thought he was winning was just a moment of her weak side and when that stronger part came along again it seemed to crush him and she hated herself for it. In a way she did feel like she was using him but she didn't want to feel that way, she wanted them to just be best friends and always be there for each other. But that weak little part of her wanted so much more that it filled her with guilt over even thinking about it let alone acting on it like the had the other day. She had no idea what to think about that right now, only that she wasn't sorry it happened because her weak side did in fact enjoy it; but that's where the problem came in. She shouldn't have let herself give in in the first place because it'd been utterly wrong on her part and if anything it made her emotions and her thoughts more wild then when she'd arrived there on the beach wondering how he'd feel when he saw her as a vampire for the first time. "Not just me, Alice and the others..." she let her voice trail off for a moment as the thought of them came to her mind and she had to mull over it a moment. The felt she'd been what was best for Edward from the beginning because of what she did for him, how happy she made him and how much he loved her because of it. But their words had never exactly been that Edward was the best for her, but she believed it and Alice was often telling her how cute and wonderful they were together. But perhaps that was the job of a best friend, but she knew in her heart that Edward just felt like was best for her. The day he left her she'd told him that to his face, that's what's best for her is to be with him and no matter of the events of the other day there was still that extremely stronger part of her that believed it in every way possible. Even if by some miracle there was a weak part that, like cancer, had tried to spread and had itself a few moments of victory at the beach. But she'd stopped it before anything else had happened, that had to mean something right?
"It happened because... With everything that's happened lately I just let myself get caught up in a moment that would distract me." Ouch, saying those words had even hurt her but she hadn't meant for them to be hurtful at all. Just a way at getting her point across to him as well as herself. She had to admit that made it sound like she was using him for a distraction but she didn't exactly feel that was the complete reason but it was a hell of a lot better then 'i feel so weak lately that weak part took over' because that sounded like a load of bull even if it felt true. She felt like she nothing about the world around her anymore, it felt so new and so different to her. If she'd admitted to him that she didn't even know what she was feeling anymore, he'd use that against her and she couldn't have that. If he tried reaching that weak part of her again, rather then her being able to squish it before hand; there might be no coming back from it. She couldn't do that to Edward, to his family... to herself and she knew that if she was with Jacob after all of this, if she let that tiny little weak part win out because she was weak in general, he'd never have her fully. Because there was such a strong part inside of her that craved being with Edward, but knowing Jake he'd probably he happy with what ever bits of Bella he did manage getting. "Coming here just put a stopper into all your lives because all any body ever does is worry over lil' old weak Bella and how she might get herself into trouble next." she grumbled a moment, arms crossing against her chest as her anger swelled inside her empty heart that wished for the day it could give her one more thump. She knew becoming what she was now, she'd lose that; but in the way she had lost it... it'd been stolen from her before her heart was ready to give up the chance to pound away in her heart one final time for a happy reason rather then the upsetting one that probably happened during her change. When Jacob said that he might be dead, had she not come here, a pain hit inside of her and her body ached for a moment. "Im sorry, but it's the way I feel sometimes." she sighed softly, hating herself for having said it in the first place. She knew the words leaving her mouth did nothing but pain him in this way and that and she grew more upset with herself then with him because no matter what, she didn't want to cause him pain and her actions and words in choosing Edward over him was doing that. Bella could still remember when she brought the motorcycles to Jacob to have them fixed up if at all possible and the first time she ever rode one she'd managed to go flying off of it because of her klutzy self; just another way she got herself into trouble because of how weak of a human she'd been.
Bella felt so strongly that Edward was innocent, but in a way like with that weak little piece of her; she knew something horrible had happened either way. The only way for a vampire to get red in their eyes, is to have tasted human blood. And why there had only been flakes of red when he returned, she didn't know what to think of it. If it was proven true, what would happen? Would Edward pull another stunt of trying to leave her because it was 'what was best' for her? She wasn't human any more, so there was no danger to her if it was true but still... She knew Edward probably couldn't live with himself if it ended up that he had killed a human, he'd probably want to leave Forks and Bella being as stubborn as she was she'd probably follow him. She knew that in itself wouldn't be something Jake would want, probably why he was holding back tossing Edward out of Forks himself or by means of the pack doing it. If the Cullen family left town... that stronger side of Bella was telling her she'd go with, even if a weaker part of her would secretly pine away for Jake to some extent. But so far, they were staying put so it made both sides of her happy cause in the end; Jake was her best friend over all and leaving him either way would suck. Even if they technically figured the family would leave after the wedding, but that'd been because they were going to leave to change her so it wouldn't break the treaty. But now that she was already a vampire, there was no reason to leave to do such a thing. "It was pushed back because I was taken and we think it's best to wait for this whole ordeal to pass before we go through with it. What if someone comes back for me Jake? How do we know they didn't just go off for a moment and I ran off without them knowing? We don't know anything about these monsters that took me and I don't want them crashing the wedding." she was explaining this the best way that she could, with an explanation she'd come to figure out with her sleepless nights now that she didn't sleep anymore. She didn't want the people that took her to come crashing through town like some hot shots and end up ruining the wedding, more so then they had by taking her before it even happened. She ignored his comment about there being human blood in Edward in general, she just couldn't bring herself to respond to that and she wanted the subject changed because thinking about it upset her too much and that was evident on her facial expression.
"Then obviously you'd rather ignore it for your own benefits." she spoke, hardly any anger in the words more like truth. Because Jake did ignore the high degree of pain because in admitting how much pain she was in, he had to admit to himself how much she loved and cared for Edward which would hurt. She constantly felt pain running through her, more so lately since her return and some of it she could barely explain. She knew she hated hurting Jacob because of the way she was and the fact she was constantly picking Edward. From an outsiders point of view; Edward had left her, she'd become an adrenaline junkie, ran off to Italy because of him and then come home but there was still so much that happened after that. She'd had a whole army brought against her and the Cullen family, all because Edward killed Victoria's mate when the man tried to kill Bella. To the outside world, and apparently even to the minds of those inside their world; Edward being around her seemed to make Bella cause trouble for herself because of so much she went through trying to be with him. But Bella would only blame herself for all of that, never Edward in a million years. To everyone who didn't know certain sides of Jacob, those selfish little ones that tried tweaking a conversation with Bella for his benefit, they'd figure he was this sweet guy who'd do anything for her. And in truth he was, but he was still trying to convince her that she shouldn't be with Edward so that she'd be with him and that's one of the things that upset her, because she loved Edward and no matter if Edward himself thought she'd be safer and happier with Jake; Bella felt like she'd only ever be at her happiest with him, even though that in itself caused her best friend hurt. Sure... Bella could be happy with Jake, there were a lot of moments when he made her feel better and made her laugh when she didn't want to. But that's what best friends did right? If Edward had never come back after her birthday and never tried to get himself killed, it's possible she'd be with Jacob right now in the way he wanted; but she'd never be fully happy about it. In a way she had to admit to herself, she'd never be completely full with either of them; with Edward a small weak part of her wanted Jake and right now with Jake, a stronger part wanted Edward that caused so much guilt inside her for what they did at the beach even if she barely felt sorry about it.
When he mentioned that she also wanted him she sighed softly, it wasn't like she could exactly deny that now could she? To deny such a thing would be a lie easily detected because of what she'd said previously to him. She did love him, just not in the way she loved Edward. "Part of me does, Jake you know that." she spoke softly, trying to think of something else to say to that. Saying it in general was probably a bad idea, but then again Bella never exactly could stop herself from saying things that she shouldn't say. "But there's a stronger part of me that wants Edward and I'm with Edward." she sighed a little, wondering if she was ever going to manage to say the right thing. In a way her words gave him hope when she wasn't meaning them to, in another way they hurt him which she certainly didn't want them to. But she just didn't know what to say anymore, she didn't know what she was even feeling anymore. Maybe... maybe if she just packed a bag and left for a while it'd do everyone a favor because being here was causing nothing but the people she loved, and herself, drama and she was hating herself for it. If she didn't know what to think or what she was feeling, how could she possibly sit here and tell Jake she'd picked Edward; when there was that weak part inside of her trying to contradict the stronger side. But hell, even if she'd chose to leave Alice would see it in an instant and call her up telling her not to. Or if she didn't call, the girl would probably help track her down. "Being stubborn is one of my strongest personality traits." she said as if she was proud of it, when in truth it was nothing to be proud of. Being stubborn was part of the reason she was in this mess in the first place really. If she hadn't been so stubborn there wouldn't be two parts inside of her fighting to see which one would win out, there'd be one complete part inside of her and things would be alright.
She'd never meant for him to stumble back, when she'd slapped him she had tried having enough sense to do it as humanly as possible. Then again she was far from being human anymore, so she had to figure it'd have some sort of impact like him falling back into a tree. Even though her hand didn't hurt, it stung in the memory of what she'd just done. The fact that she'd just hit him, when she told herself she never would try that again; her body ached as it heaved, wanting so badly to cry that she felt the heaving might cause her to fall apart into little tiny pieces of Bella dust and rubble on the ground. She heard her name from his lips and that weak part of her tried reaching out, she felt so bad in general for hitting him that the weak part was having a bit more affect but she held back. She was still so angry at him for what he'd said, trying to get her to imagine life without Edward had nearly punched another hole in her chest just thinking about it. Sure, when Edward was gone Jake had been there and the hole had started to close in its own way. If Edward hadn't come back or hadn't tried having himself killed, they'd probably be sitting on Jake's couch watching movies right now. But the difference was, all that stuff and much more had happened with Edward that even the thought of him not being around made her body ache. She loved Jake and she knew that but there was still so much of her that loved Edward and would die without him. "No Pup, you shouldn't have mentioned it." she spoke as his arms wrapped around her and her body surged with the warmth of his skin, her eyes closing a moment as she just let that hurt and worn out person inside of her be comforted by her best friend as she tried to get the thoughts of an Edward-less world out of her mind. She knew being close to Jacob, when she was feeling so weak, was probably a bad idea but he was still her best friend and even if he'd caused the pain by mentioning it, she still sought comfort from him. "I shouldn't have hit you though, I swore to myself I never would." she sighed, her body still trying to cry but she knew she couldn't. She pulled herself into his lap and curled herself against his chest, trying to ignore every other feeling and just find comfort in her best friend like a best friend should give when their friend was hurt; even if it was their own words that did it.
WORDCOUNT// 3500
RESERVEDOROPEN// for bella's air breathing pup (aka jake) <3
BRAINJUICE// i'll never break your heart, backstreet boys
NOTEPAD//
haha, okay okay. we need to
stop typing so much. idk how
much longer i can keep it up.
i surprised myself with this post.
and bella kinda took over for most
of it, idk what she's thinking. she's
all over the place, sorry. hehe xD
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Post by JACOB BLACK on Sept 15, 2009 22:43:04 GMT -5
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - OUR HANDS CLASPEDW A I T I N G F O R T H E H I N T O F S P A R K _________________________________________________
Jacob couldn't help but to laugh lightly at her words. Though, for some reason, that actually was a possibility that might occur. It wasn't like he could control what happened when he was asleep. The chances of it happening would increase since Bella would be with him in his bed, even if they weren't doing anything. Ever since Jake became a werewolf all his senses had sharpened dramatically, so in his sleep he would sense Bella there every moment whether he was dreaming about her or not. Who knew what he might accidentally do then? "I'm not going to get frisky in my sleep, Bells," he said rolling his eyes, even though he knew the chances were pretty high that what he just said was a lie. "But if I do get... frisky... or whatever you call it, then your rights to push me off the bed are reserved, alright?" he said with a playful glow in his chocolate optics. Being Jake, he would probably do something toward Bella anyway just to tease her and see if she would really push him off the bed. The thought of Billy hearing it though, made him keep his lips tug into a petite grin. Knowing his father could be quite nosy, he would roll out of bed into his wheel chair and came rolling into his room. The old man would see Bella in Jake's bed and his son on the floor. Now, what would be any parents first reaction seeing their baby boy in bed with a girl? Well, yeah, of course they would jump straight to the conclusion that they weren't just sleeping. It would be funny as hell though, seeing Billy's face. Then Jake would laugh at his father and get his father out of his room be assuring nothing was even going on, but the next morning Billy would have Jacob in lock down until he spoke to him. That last part wouldn't be too fun, but it'd be worth it. The black haired boy knew that Bella did value him, even if it wasn't as much as he preferred to be valued by her. With his little leech, he was used to not getting his way, so he could accept that she didn't value him the most. He knew what she meant by that type of girl and what could Jake say to that? Yes, you are? He was sure that wouldn't accomplish much. "Technically you aren't completely that type of girl because we didn't go all the way," he pointed out. She still did cheat because she kissed him, but Jake was just trying to make her feel better about the whole ideal. At least he wasn't agreeing that she was. "If it makes you feel any better, I was getting in on with an engaged woman, so you aren't alone", he shrugged. Okay, so that really didn't bother Jacob all that much; if anything, he was simply happy about it. But for Bella's sake, he would insult himself.
There was one other time that Bella had kissed Jake without him ending up breaking her hand over it. When the newborn vampire army came and he had to go battle, he told Bella that he would let himself die in this fight because of her. He gave her the option of her giving him a kiss or him dying. Of course, his Bells had easily feared that Jacob would actually go kill himself over her, so she had given in, giving him a soft kiss. She had meant it too; which was the best part. He was so refreshed after that it seemed like no vampire could hold him down or hurt him. Though, Jake was slightly put off that she cared for Edward so much she wouldn't let him fight, but she had let Jake go without much refusal at all. He tried not to take that to heart because in the end, he would've gone up going anyway because he wanted to protect her. It just would have been nice to feel a little more loved back then. "Mhmm," he replied, still seeming dispassionate about this. Jacob listened as she described why what happened on the beach happened. Pain corrupted inside his body everywhere at once, but it subsided quickly as the voice in his head spoke quickly, she doesn't mean it. "So, you were using me?" he asked her, not waiting for an answer Jake said, "Sorry, Bells. I just can't buy that," he said in a matter of fact way. Bella didn't act like that because she was in so much pity for herself that she just wanted anything to distract her. She wasn't that kind of girl. She would let herself wallow in agony, making herself suffer for days than to go out and distract herself. Maybe, this one time, she did? Jake thought hard about it for a moment, but his mind wouldn't allow him to think she honestly meant that. Jake wouldn't bring himself to face the fact that her words may have hurt, but there was a just she had really meant them. He knew she had used him before just like a tool when Edward left her and still after learning that Bella sometimes used him for comfort tool, he let her. Jake didn't care because whatever he could get, no matter what the circumstances were, he'd always let Bella use him when she wanted.
The werewolf shook his head in disagreement as she ranted about herself, acting as though she hated herself. It disturbed Jake to the extreme to her tone of voice so harsh against herself, but in a way, this wasn't knew. Bella had always brought this up to him when Edward left, asking him if Edward would've stayed if she never came to Forks during one of her common meltdowns or telling him how much everyone would be better off without. Was she really going to make herself go through all of that again? Jake's fist clenched, remembering her face when she used to be so dead compared to when she was so lively. He wouldn't be able to stand seeing her fall back down into that scary state she had once been in. He just wouldn't. "You aren't a burden to me or anyone else. If you were then none of us would have bothered to love you," he soothed, meeting her topaz gaze softly, "and you aren't weak anymore. Look at you," he paused running his eyes carefully over her body as if to make his point clear, "you're one of the strongest things on Earth. There isn't much to worry about anymore," he declared in a casual way. It was still weird, thinking that his little Bells could now throw a giant truck if she wanted too. When someone is that invisible than there wasn't much to worry about, not physically at least. Jacob was constantly searching her mental state making sure she was stable, but that was because he loved her. Because he cared about her. Jake shrugged it off when she said sorry; he didn't want to make her feel sorry what she had just said. He only mentioned that in the first place to make her stop pitying over everyone else. "There is no reason to feel that way, ever. Everyone is much happier when you're around, even the bloodsuckers are. You've done nothing but improve everyone's lives and people who care for one another are willing to deal with trouble they bring them," he spoke only from experience, describing how he felt, at least. He was sure that those leeches felt the same way and he knew Charlie was glad to have her around without question. Yes, the once pale human did bring a lot of issues, but they all cherished her too much to really care. They were all willing to deal with the fact that she was accident prone and clumsy. Even the big things like having a vampire hunting her down. It just didn't matter in the end as long as everyone survived through it.
Failure to be picked was a great blow to Jacob's vanity. As she explained why the wedding had been pushed back, that was all he could feel. He opened his mouth about to say 'Well, if they don't end up crashing the wedding, then I am' but thought twice about that and snapped his jaw closed before anything spilled. The last thing he needed to do was be a smart-ass and make a wise comment like that she to try to make her feel guilty. Maybe what Jacob needed to do was just make her remember why she loved him so much? Pressuring her didn't seem to be doing any good for him today, so trying a different approach might be better. "Not that I'm upset that the weddings been canceled... I mean pushed back... but I can promise you, none of them are going to get as far to the wedding. Not with me around they aren't. Plus, we've doubled patrols and what else do we need to know about them? What I know is the second I catch them they're dead and that's about all the information I need," he muttered, glancing at the ground, thinking about what bastards would do this to his Bells. Was it ironic that the girl who was already involved with vampires got turned into one right before her wedding? What if Edward had been the one to change Bella and the reason that he only had red flecks in his eyes was because he didn't drink all of the human blood so that she could live? Jake wasn't sure if he preferred Edward to have changed her over another leech. He knew that it would make his Bells feel a lot better and relieved, but Jacob wouldn't be able to stand the fact that Edward took her life from her without her permission. He could barely stand it when it was planned out... Jake didn't know what he would do to Edward after finding out it had been him. He knew himself well and he was forced to give into his temper offend... and when his temper took over and he shifted from anger, his mind wasn't in the right place. Most likely Jake would end up hurting the bloodsucker past belief, even if Bella hated him forever after it. Though, he didn't know if it had been Edward or someone else, so at the moment, there was no need to even be thinking of such events occurring in the future.
The werewolf really couldn't deny that he did what he did for his own benefit. Yes, Jacob could be very selfish and rude at times for his own sake, but it was because of his stubborn side. He didn't want to accept that she madly in love with Edward, so he didn't. Simple as that. "No, I am not ignoring it.. I'm just choosing not to ever think about it," that was slightly ridiculous and childish, but it was the only thing this werewolf wouldn't face head on. In all the time that he's known Bella and has seen her passion grow for that blood sucker animal, the more he refused to see the truth that what she and Edward was stronger to her. It bothered him seeing her lit up when the leech came into her sight because whenever Jake was in her sight she also seemed to lighten up. It was just unfair in a way that she had both of them completely wrapped around her finger. Jacob once tried to get himself to think why he even loved this beautiful vampire so much, but he kept getting aches all over his body until his mind finally made him stop thinking about it. During the time he had managed to think about it he couldn't talk himself into not loving her anymore, or at least trying to hide his love to make Bella's life that much easier. But he was selfish and stubborn, not the best to mixes in the bunch. It hurt Jacob to hear again that she was still with Edward. Yes, he realized that but it still didn't mean anything to him. It didn't mean that he didn't have a chance to steal her away from the bloodsucker's grasp and even when his Bells got married, he would still have a chance.
"I can see that," he gave her a look like she was just pointing out unneeded information to him. For a moment, he was almost amused that Bella seemed proud of being stubborn, but that expression faded when something seemed to pop up in her mind. "Yeah, I can see that too," he couldn't help but to let the smallest smirk rest on his lips, thinking about how stubborn she was. In all truth, it was one quality that Jake had instantly fallen in love with. She didn't give in easily, if she ever did, and it made her independent, having thoughts of her own that really meant something. It was obvious how confused Bella was. First she had backed away, then slapped him hard enough to make him stumble back into a tree, and now she was letting him hug her. It was how things worked between them and maybe neither of them will truly understand why things were like that in their relationship, but Jacob didn't mind that part. He could feel her ice skin through her clothes and it felt nice against his over heating skin. It reminded when he had crawled into her sleeping bag so long ago to help keep her warm since she had been shaking like crazy and Edward's coldness couldn't do anything for her. It also reminded him of how her cool skin felt against his heated hands at the beach, but that memory was dismissed quickly. The last thing he wanted to do was get himself riled up right after he had gotten her mad enough to actual hit him again. He sighed, "I know, I know and I'm sorry I did," he repeated his apologize feeling her shift her weight so she was sitting on his lap, her head curled into his chest. Jake hugged her closely to him, trying to make her feel as secure as possible as she rested his chin atop her head. "I think it was bound to happen one day anyway since I can't keep my mouth shut," he mumbled knowing that was probably true. It was better to get slapped now then later, right? "Besides, it's pretty hard to hurt me. If a bruise forms it'll go away within the next few minutes," he assured with a slight shrug, "plus, I really deserved that one."
NOTES
still longer then what i aimed for, but it
stayed under 3000 (: i don't really like
this post all that much, idk why. maybe
i'm just too tired. see, i love you and
bella so much i stay up till midnight
writing this xP my inner jake is still
wide awake though, hehe.
WORDS 2773.
TAGGED jakes little sparking leech (bella)!
TUNES eyes on fire - blue foundation [/font] [/blockquote] |
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Post by ISABELLA SWAN on Sept 16, 2009 2:35:55 GMT -5
WHEN I USED TO SLEEP I COULD DREAM,
of better places and i'd scream Bella could easily imagine Billy coming hurriedly into the room when his son hit the floor with a loud thud. Then again Bella would probably be laughing too hard to zoom herself out the window before being seen. Heck if she was smart enough, the minute Billy went for the light switch she'd already be out the window and hiding behind a tree laughing her butt off. But in a way she figured Billy wouldn't mind, she knew the man would absolutely love if she had picked Jacob over Edward. Though now that she herself was a vampire, she didn't exactly know how the La Push group felt about her so it'd probably make Billy angry to find her in his son's room that late into the night and in his bed to boot. Then again the way Jacob's room was, there was hardly any space not taken up by the large bed and there was no chairs or anything in his room so she'd have to situate herself on the bed. "Maybe I'll just dumb some jello mix on you instead." she laughed as the thought came to her mind, thinking that it'd be a better idea then just pushing him off. He'd wake up with a bunch of sticky jello mix on him and find her laughing her butt off at what she'd just done. It'd be perfect, though knowing him he'd try to tackle her and get the stuff on her so she thanked the stars she had the benefit of speed to avoid such a turn of events. "Or some eggs, see if I can't make an omelet off you. " she laughed even more at that thought, wondering where the hell it came from. Then again his skin was probably a lot hotter then what the stove top could get to so it'd be funny to test this theory. She'd have to remember to test it whether it was when he and if he got frisky during his sleep, or as just some fun sort of experiment to try out when she got overly bored. Then again if she did try it, he'd probably gobble the thing up; the man would eat just about anything, she'd seen when Emily had made the boys a meal and they scarfed it all down like vacuum cleaners on high.
"Oh shut up mister technical." she glared for a moment when he pointed out they hadn't gone all the way. "Yeah, I feel loads better. Not. Nice try with that though." she huffed slightly with a small laugh. She was trying to make herself feel better, she hated being angry in general and being angry at her best friend made her feel that much more horrible. Anger wasn't really her style, it was an emotion she hated to feel and hated expressing. Bella could still remember the war so vibrantly in her mind, she hadn't wanted Edward to fight because she didn't want to lose him if he should get killed during the battle. Jake had come to her and told her that he'd die if she didn't kiss him and in that moment her weak side grew a little bit stronger and she did allow a kiss; but she'd rather have it like that then have him willingly go out and get himself killed. Whether she told Jacob, like she had Edward, not to fight; he wouldn't have listened. No one listened to her, like Bella they were all extremely too stubborn for their own good. They both fought and they were fighting to save her, and their families of course but she knew in a way their biggest concerns were protecting her from an army of vampires lead by a woman that wanted her dead no matter what. "I wasn't using you Jacob... or at least I didn't mean to if I was. I don't know what happened but it happened and it's in the past now where it needs to stay." she put her foot down on that matter, as if that'd do any good. She knew Jacob wouldn't give up that easily, she knew that he wouldn't just leave it at that. He was too determined to convince her to be with him over Edward that he probably wouldn't drop the subject any time soon. Because of those few weak moments of hers, more hope had grown inside him that there was a chance when there was a hugely strong part of her trying to get through to him that there wasn't. But as long as that weak part was there, he wouldn't buy it and sadly neither would she.
When Edward had left she had screamed away many nights and begged the pain in her chest to just take her. To consume her and let her be done with it, because a life without Edward was no life at all. When Jacob came around more and more and they would spend time together; that hole slowly started to fill with something new in it's own slow and yet still pained of a way. She was consumed with grief every day that Edward was gone and the only way she could see or even hear him was when she did something utterly reckless that could quite possibly get her killed. Her friends noticed it after a few attempts and she knew they saw how bad she was doing, but they thought of Edward as a bad person for leaving and doing this to her. "But I feel like I am, whether you people love me or not." she said simply and truthfully with a small sigh. No matter what anyone said to her she still felt like the root of so many problems. "I feel awkward like this Jacob, not strong." she admitted to him, in truth she knew that it would take some getting used to. Even Carlisle had told her that so she knew it was true, but Bella had felt she'd never be cut out to be a vampire; she felt unworthy still and every time she looked in the mirror she still saw that awkward weak girl with just a few upgrades to her appearance. Though as the days passed she felt a bit more like she apparently should, she was a vampire; strong and fast and probably faster then Edward if she gave it her all. But she was still a klutz but she figured she'd just have to learn to deal with that, apparently it was another trait she'd taken with her to this life. "I doubt there'd have been so much trouble if I wasn't here to attract it." she pointed out, wondering to herself if their lives would be better with out her even if they didn't think they would be. James would've never attacked her and there for been murdered, Victoria wouldn't be after her to get revenge on James and wouldn't have brought that new born army here. So in a way, a lot of that was because of her and there was no denying it.
She knew that every moment there wasn't a wedding, Jacob would feel hope because that gave him another moment to think he could reach her and get her to pick him over Edward. But in all truth, she just wanted to make sure everything was cleared up and no more trouble was coming before going through with the wedding. "Thank you... but you remember, you only get the fingers and toes." she pointed out to him, adding a laugh to the down turn in conversation; reminding him what she'd told him on the beach. Bella wanted to be the main person to rip them to shreds for what they did to her, what they stole from her; they pretty much ruined her life and they'd pay for that with their own lives. Bella didn't think for a second that Edward had been the one to do this to her, she didn't find it possible because she knew that she'd feel a whole lot better on the inside; even if she couldn't remember it. She felt nothing but pain and disgust from that week she was taken, knowing if she'd been around Edward there would be better feelings inside her even if she couldn't remember the events. So no, she didn't think for one split second he'd been involved in her change but she would find out what happened and what he couldn't remember. "What're you five?" she teased him for a moment, trying once more to put a light step to their conversation. She hated being in a bad mood, it pained her to see her best friend in one as well. Though Bella was the type to brood and mull over things more then she probably should, right now she didn't want to; she was trying her hardest not to at least and the effort had to show in the tiny little up turn of her lips into the slight smile that tried to appear upon them. But she knew that the moments he thought how much his Bells loved Edward, it would pain him and put him into a bad mood so she could see why he didn't want to think about it. In truth, she didn't want to think about him in pain either; because it hurt her as well, mainly because she was the source of most of his pain. Another reason she figured this place would be better without her around, less drama and less pain for people to feel.
"Sorry if I'm repeating myself." she chuckled when he said that he could see that. She knew she repeated a lot of things, but she was trying to get stuff through to him apparently like he was trying to get things through to her. She knew he was trying to make her see she was better off with him, better off picking him over Edward; but there was so much inside Bella that didn't believe that too be true. She knew she'd be nothing without Edward, though in her own selfish way she knew she'd loose it without Jake around as well but she knew she couldn't have them both in a way that made everyone happy. It was all very confusing, but she'd do anything to make sure Jake stayed her friend in the very least; it pained her to think of a life without him as well. Bella could feel his heated flesh against her, her eyes closed for a moment as she remembered the sleeping bag moment with him. It'd been so cold up in the mountains and she'd wanted to cuddle up to Edward but she would've died of hypothermia if she had; so instead Jake had come up with the idea for her to cuddle up to him to stay warm and she nearly over heated herself in the process. It had been a fun moment and Edward had apparently enjoyed listening to her talk in her sleep, saying his name even though she was up against Jake though Jake did manage to torture Edward with his thoughts. "You ever mention it again and I'll sick a hive of bees on you." she grumbled against him, wrapping her hands together in her lap for a brief moment before moving a hand up to run through her hair as a light sigh ran through her and she rested a cold against against his chest. She didn't exactly mean the threat, but it seemed more... innocent of blame on herself then if she actually hit him. "Yeah, you really did deserve it." she laughed, finally agreeing with him on something as she tilted her head up to look at his face as a smile played on her lips. She felt better, not so much filled with anger and she was trying not to think about the thing he'd mentioned because she knew if she did her mood would probably take a turn for the worse.
"When did life get so messed up?" she asked softly, more to herself then to him as her fingers made idle shapes against his chest. She wasn't really paying attention to their movements, her eyes staring off a moment and away from him as she tried to think of something really... big to say that could put them into a string of conversations that wouldn't lead to something utterly upsetting, confusing or annoying even. Though the question she'd chosen hadn't exactly avoided doing that but it was the only one she could think of. "Do you still have my bike? What'd we do with that?" she asked him a moment, trying to remember. She figured getting on that might remind her of a slightly better time, even if the time she'd wanted Jake to work on that was a horrible time in her life. The bike itself had actually been fun, watching him work on it had been one of the events that gave them a reason to call each other their 'best friend' it had been monumental in their friendship really. It'd been a happy, distracting, time in her depressive state; one of the days she didn't feel completely horrible and like she wanted to scream every five minutes.
WORDCOUNT// 2460
RESERVEDOROPEN// for bella's air breathing pup (aka jake) <3
BRAINJUICE// without you, hinder
NOTEPAD//
alright, so bella is trying to... idk, lighten
the mood rather then bringing up bad
things and keeping them all sad or
angry even. haha. idk what she's doing
though, but she hated being in a bad mood. =)
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Post by JACOB BLACK on Sept 16, 2009 21:06:29 GMT -5
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - OUR HANDS CLASPEDW A I T I N G F O R T H E H I N T O F S P A R K _________________________________________________ Jacob couldn't but to smile as Bella suggested putting jello on him instead. If she ever did that he would catch her and smother it all over her for revenge. Of course, now that his little leech was a vampire, it'd be more of a challenge to catch her, but she couldn't run forever. Even if he couldn't get her the second he woke up, Jake still had eternity to plan pay back and that was plenty long enough. “I'm glad thinking of ways to torture me is amusing you,” he huffed as though he were really offended by her comment. The cooking eggs off him though, did make him remember a conversation he had with Embry not too long ago. The had both en starving after taking a double patrol and the power had been out when they got back to Jake's house. They had thought about trying to cook something in their hands, but the idea was banished when Billy brought home some good old fashioned take out food. Jake didn't think he would ever try cooking something on himself ever, it just just abnormal and weird. “If you dare try that I'll have to go all werewolf on you, Bells,” he said with a playful, teasing smile. In truth, the black haired man would never allow himself to turn into a werewolf close to Bella, whether she was a vampire or not. Werewolves were born to kill bloodsuckers and if he shifted, who knew what he might do not purposely. Plus, his mind would send out a false alarm to his pack if they were in wolf form to and he would just cause a big commotion. But, he obviously knew that he wasn't really going to be mad if Bella tried cooking food on him, if anything he would pretend to be furious and tackle her to the ground, tickling her until she apologized. Were vampires ticklish? Jake would have to find that out one day. He didn't even want to picture Leah showing up here and seeing Bella was the whole cause if this. Even though she had promised to try to act better since she was second in charge, she still lost her temper quite effortlessly and Leah hated Bella even more now because of what she was.
Well, everyone wasn't sure what to think of Bella now... his father had been harsh at first, telling Jacob to keep away from her, but it wasn't as if that was going to happen. Seth didn't care, just like Jake, because he had a soft, light heart; Seth was the most innocent, accepting person Jacob knew and was glad to have him in his pack. Embry was doubtful, not sure what to think about it and he told Jake that he'd just do whatever Jake wanted about it. He was lucky to have such a loyal friend. Then there was himself, who couldn't of cared less what Bella was even if she was poked dotted or striped because she would always b his Bells. Even as Bells told him to shut up and used a sarcastic remark in lighter mood, he could still see how much it pained her. Was it really that horrible? He wanted to ask her but he knew well by now that it wasn't a good idea to bring it back up in a serious matter. “Worth a shot,” he said smiling lightly at her almost forced soft laugh. “I hate to bring this up, but... you know you're not going to be able to hide what happened from Edward, right? You may be able to hide your thoughts from him, but I can only hide mine for so long,” he said, thinking about the moment that bloodsucker first found out what they had both done. Knowing the leech he would seriously be killed on the inside but he would deny the way he felt and just ask Bella if it's what she wanted and then he;d pretend to let it go. Plus, Jake didn't plan on helping because he would let Edward know exactly what he thought about him and Bells getting it on. Maybe even through in a few images in his mind to get the Cullen all riled up. If the bloodsucker did end up loosing his temper, then maybe the werewolf would finally be able to smack the sparkling freak around a little bit. Of course, if that happened Jake would get a fist full of Bella's screams and punches, but if he was in his wolf form they wouldn't hurt to the extent of pure agony. This plan was getting better and better as he thought it out. “Sure, sure,” he replied rolling his eyes as she put her foot down about this staying in the past. Well, if she knew Jake then she should know that there was absolutely no point in saying that.
The werewolf scowled when she claimed that she felt awkward instead of strong. There were two sides to how he felt about that because he didn't want Bella to change in the first place and he hated that, but he also wanted her to love the change because it was who she was now. Jake wanted her to feel happy since now that she was a vampire there wasn't anything she would be able to do about it. Even as a human she had been awkward and really as a vampire it seemed she had seemed to keep that trait, but Jacob liked that he had. It made her still feel like the old Bella... the human Bella. “I like that though Bells, it makes it feel like you never changed,” he said with a shrug, not trying insult her. He knew that is wasn't something that she had wanted to keep when she made the transformation. “And I bet that you just feel awkward because you aren't used to your new abilities. When I was becoming a werewolf I couldn't feel anything but awkward and illness. I mean, cut yourself some slack sparkles, you just became a mythical creatures,” he stated with a reassuring expression, as if he knew those words were true. For most the chances of his words being right were high, but since this was Miss Swan it was always a fifty percent chance. Jake never knew why her life seemed to work like that, but it did. “That might be true, but if you weren't here other trouble would of come along with or without you, so you can't use that as an excuse,” he stated, truly believing in his words. Jake knew other kinds of issues would come and yes, most of the bad vampire visits were because of Bella, but James would have still come to Forks even if she hadn't been there. He would of still became a werewolf, Edward would still probably try to kill himself not standing the loneliness anymore, and Jake would've broke off from Sam's pack at one point anyway. A lot of trouble still would have happened, but it was just that Bella seemed to cause the problem before the issue actually occurred on it's own... sort of like she beat the conflict to it's punch line. Which Jake found nothing upsetting about that because it was better to deal with things earlier than later, as she learned over his short lifetime.
“Okay... maybe one arm too?” he asked in a begging voice, opening his eyes as large as they could do and slightly pouting, making a puppy dog face. Which was definitely the best puppy dog face in the planet since, well, technically Jacob was a puppy dog. The thought of his large wolf fangs clamping around that murderer's body, their bones crunching between his jaws as she shook them around wildly made a thrill rush through his veins. Oh, that sounded just about perfect right now. The screams from the monster or threats they threw at him, he would only laugh at like he was insane before ripping off their heads, pulling them limb from limb before tossing them into a fire. But, of course, his mind was letting him get carried away because the only thing Bella would allow him to crunch on was their fingers and toes, which really didn't seem to satisfying. He wrinkled his nose acting like he was hurt when she asked him if he was five. Alright, so he was acting like he was five by choosing to ignore the fact that she loved Edward. It was just like how one kindergartner would claim he was in love with another girl in the class and than just because someone else loved the girl, another boy would and they first boy would just ignore the second boy, asking if the girl wanted to go make mud pies with him. Then she would agree and once they came back into the classroom the second and first boy would start hating each other; stealing each others crayons, or flicking each other in the back of their heads when they passed in the hallways. It was pathetic that Jacob thought like a kindergartner sometimes, but doesn't everyone at one point? Besides, it wasn't exactly like that.. instead of two kindergartners it was a vampire verse a werewolf, so he would think things would be a little more dangerous when flicking each other on the back of the heads. “I wish; nothing seemed hard back then,” he muttered, realizing he was downing on the mood again. Instantly trying to change that he said, “Remember when we were really were five and we accidentally broke Charlie's lamp, so we thought the boogie man was going to come get us?” he couldn't help but to chuckle at the memory. They had both been beyond terrified thinking that when they went to bed the mythical boogie man would come and get them. It had seemed so possible at the time for the boogie man to be real, but vampires and werewolves never seemed to be possible. Funny how things turn out.
“It's fine... apparently I need some things to get drilled into my head anyway," he said sarcastically referring to the things Bella told him constantly like to stop acting like a jerk; a perfect example. But his tone had a tint of teasing, so it wasn't like he was trying to be mean about it. He really did to be reminded a lot about those kind of things, he forgot every now and then that he wasn't the only one with emotions. Jake released an inner sigh as he felt her shift slightly in his lap, resting her head against his chest, curling up into him. He was happy, purely happy, that he could make his Bells feel so comfortable around him, even after what they did. It felt so right to him, even if they were complete opposites in almost every physical way, but that's what made her touch so enjoyable. With Jacob's painfully hot skin and Bella's painfully cold skin they melted right into each other and it more than just desirable to him. His muscular arms stayed wrapped around her, as though he was protecting her from anything even the rustling leaves. It was natural for Jake to feel so protective over her, it was something that couldn't be controlled. "I promise I won't ever say it again. Even if between mentioning it or death, I'll pick death," he assured with a slight smile. It was a stupid thing to promise because he constantly thought about those days where he had been so close to having Bella, but if she really didn't want him to ever mention Edward leaving again... he supposed he could at least do that. He was amused that she found it funny that he really did deserve it, but he guessed she was really just trying to distract her bad moods so they would stay away by laughing. Jacob rolled his eyes, touching his face lightly where she had slapped him and pressed on it flinching slightly. Christ, he was lucky she didn't shatter his jaw; that would take forever to heal, even with his werewolf strength. But it only felt like a bruise which was already retreating from his skin.
"We finally agree on something," he said with a booming laugh of his, finding that hilarious. He hadn't realized that they had almost been fighting with each other the whole time when he had come in the first place to apologize. How pathetic was that? Jake sniffled from laughing so hard, so suddenly and found it quite ironic that thing one thing they agreed on was him needing to get slapped across the face. Jake's head perked up slightly as she heard her whisper and start to trace different shapes on his chest. His shoulder's dropped in a relaxed position on her gentle touch and his eyelids dropped down half way as though he was in ultimate pleasure. "I believe life gets messed up the second we're born," he said with a soft sigh, "but if life wasn't so messy, than nothing good would come out of anything." Sometimes Jake used wise words like that, maybe Billy was rubbing off on him? Though, Billy was more superstitious then anything. He shifted one arm so it was placed tightly around her waist to keep her in his lap and his other hand rested lightly over her lap. He was doing his best to keep his thoughts in control, trying to just focus on Bella's words and was thankful for her distracting question. "You're bike?" he questioned as though he didn't remember, but it snapped into his mind the second he repeated her question. "Oh yeah, I've still got it in my garage. I sold my bike though when... um... never mind that. But you're bike is big enough to hold two, you know," he said with ideas beginning to rush to his mind. "You know... if you're seriously coming over tonight, then we can make this into a sleepover deal like that old days," a bright smile suddenly covered his face. The word sleepover was so childish, but that was the point, but it made him feel so young. "You can spend the night with me and then we'll hang out the next day and go biking? Only if you want." Jacob could see that this would actually be really healthy for Bells. It would give her a break from all the stress, Jake would make sure of that. "And I won't get frisky during any of it," he said with a slight nod, taking the hand that rested on her lap and held it up, holding out his pinky, "I pinky promise you."
[/size] NOTES I didn't center it because
idk, i was getting bored of
just centering it, heh. isn't
jake so cute trying to make
a pinky promise? lol. gah
-huggles jakey- i love him!
WORDS 2736.
TAGGED Jessi !
TUNES Meant To Live - Switchfoot [/font] [/blockquote] |
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Post by ISABELLA SWAN on Sept 17, 2009 13:37:43 GMT -5
WHEN I USED TO SLEEP I COULD DREAM,
of better places and i'd scream Bella had to admit, thinking of ways to torture Jake was indeed a fun thought or two. She'd never really been the type to torture a person, she never wanted to be that mean really. But the ideas in her head at the moment weren't exactly mean ones, they were funny ones. Pouring jello mix on her best friend seemed like it might be loads of fun to do, even though she knew he'd try and get her back for that. She herself was pretty fast so it's not like he could catch her easily, unless she let him catch her. "Well then I'm glad you're glad, cause it is quite amusing." she snickered softly, sticking her tongue out at him a moment. Bella was trying to turn this day up when it had been doing so far down into the dumps to begin with. She didn't like fighting with her best friend, so laughing right now felt like a much better thing to be doing then yelling at him for something even if he gave her good reason to yell. "Promise? You're so adorable when you're all big and fluffy." she snickered as she teased him, a big grin pouring onto her face in that moment. She'd always liked seeing that wolf side of him, even if when she did he was using it to be aggressive towards someone else. It was a powerful and dominating side of him in a way, she knew he had to be careful when he got angry not to shift without meaning to cause it could hurt a lot of people. Though the thought of trying to cook an egg on him still seemed so hilarious to her that she just might try it no matter what he thought or said about the idea. She knew he wouldn't go all werewolf over it, that'd be a pretty stupid reason to right? She knew in the end he'd probably find it pretty hilarious that, if it worked, an egg could be cooked on him and possibly other types of foods. Bella knew eating food of someone was supposed to be some sort of... kinky idea really, but her best friend was normally a hundred and eight degrees; so the idea was hilarious not kinky.
Bella had never expected certain people to continue to like her when she became a vampire. Hell, she didn't think even her best friend would be able to stand her but here he was. She didn't want his family and tribe to hate her, she liked those people even if now they probably didn't like her for what she was. She knew Leah pretty much disliked everyone and more so if you were a vampire, the girl was apparently always torturing the pack with her thoughts over depressing and angry stuff when in wolf form that hardly any one them wanted to phase at the same time that she did. She knew the women was bitter that she lost Sam because of the imprinting on Emily, but things like that happened. Hell, there was still a possibility that Jake could imprint on someone some day but heck maybe with the way he was acting he imprinted on Bella already and had either no idea he'd done it or was ignoring it for some reason. Though the way the others described imprinting, they may never know. But in a way you could say, that weak little part of Bella was worried that if she had picked Jake and he hadn't imprinted on her that he might imprint on someone else someday so where would that leave her? Though the strong part of her continued to ignore those thoughts because to it, it didn't matter because she hadn't picked Jake; she was with Edward so no reason to think things like that. Right? "I know, trust me I've given it a lot of thought. But I'll deal with that when the time comes." she sighed softly as she thought about what might happen the next time Jake and Edward were in a room together. She had to admit she was worried about how Edward might react towards her or Jake, but she didn't want to show just how worried she really was and lately she'd gotten good at hiding particular emotions from showing on her face even if Jasper could probably read them loud and clear. She didn't want Edward to hate her for what'd happened, or try and attack Jake over it. She was hoping that Edward would be Edward and just lay it aside as... something in Bella's past that could be over looked because she was still with him and still crazy about him. Though she knew Jake thinking about it in front of him would still hurt Edward and that caused Bella pain as well. Then again Bella knew that if either of them tried attacking the other, she step right in the middle of it because she didn't want that to happen. And they both knew that's something she would do.
When he gave his trade mark little 'sure sure' she just rolled her eyes a moment. She knew that with him, there'd be no just... leaving it in the past like she was hoping for. She knew at some point he'd use it against her in one of their conversations or purposely bring it up in his thoughts around Edward. Bella knew that rather then feeling... weak or disappointed or what ever else she was feeling over the way she looked and felt, she should feel kind of happy about it. In a way she retained a lot of her human qualities and traits which had to be saying something. But Bella had always thought of herself as weak and awkward looking so when that didn't change as a vampire she didn't feel like she should be happy about it. "I know... but I was hoping to feel more different then I do..." she sighed softly, looking at herself a moment. Her skin was hardly a different shade of pale and yet her flesh was marbled and cold like that of the Cullen family and every other vampire around. But in ways that they described her being a lot like them now, she just felt awkward and different and out of place but she'd probably always feel that way. That was Bella for you. "I remember..." she spoke when he talked about the time of his change as she thought back to it a moment she sighed softly. Billy himself didn't even want to let her see him, she hated not being around her best friend and especially the way he acted afterwords when he yelled at her that he couldn't be around her anymore. But giving her clues like he had, had been freaking genius. "I suppose I'll just have to give myself more time to adjust, can't get used to all... this, over night." she laughed softly, holding her arms out a moment to look them over and then laugh one more as she set them back into their previous placement as her ears perked to hear his words leave his lips again. "Yeah well, it's my excuse and I can use it if I wanna." she tried pulling off a serious look when she said that but failed horrible seconds after trying, laughing softly as she knew he was true. With or without her trouble would have come, how could it not with one town full of vampires and the other full of werewolves?
When he asked about an arm she looked at him funny like for a moment. She wanted to be the one to rip off every last piece of the creatures so he had to feel lucky she was giving him fingers and toes. Bella didn't want anyone else to be apart of her revenge because it was up to her to take it and destroy the evil creatures that destroyed her and took her life away from her weeks before she was actually supposed to be changed by the man that she loved. "Half an arm." she caved when he gave her that look, laughing a little. His puppy dog look was totally priceless and it was kind of sad that it still worked on her. Then again she still had her own looks that worked so she couldn't blame him for trying out his own. Specially since Bella just felt so funny and confused lately it wasn't hard to win her over to a point on certain subjects and if he was going to fight the beings no matter what Bella said; then she might has well let him have a little bit of fun. She knew Edward and the entire family wanted to track them down with her and destroy them as well but she knew it was something she had to do even if they'd probably protest to letting her do it. "Riding a bike was hard." she snickered softly, remembering the time Charlie tried to teach her how to ride a bike. She was so young and yet that man was so determined to have her ride down the street on it. She must've fallen over a dozen times to the point where Charlie figured it be best if they stopped for now but Bella being stubborn way back then, she'd wanted to keep trying until she finally got it on like the twenty try. "Yeah I remember... the boogie man, what were we thinking right? Then again, he might actually be real; look at us. We're real." she laughed softly at the memory as she pointed out with out actually saying the W and V word, what they were. So if they were real creatures, did that mean the boogie man was too or was he an actual story just for the purpose of scaring kids?
"Yeah... but not with an actual drill right? That'd hurt?" she tried once more to look serious, pulling a frown onto her lips as she asked the question and actually gave it a little thought. Taking a power tool to someones head was a bad idea, a real bad one and stupid to think about but she wanted to make Jake think she was serious for a moment. It wouldn't technically be hitting him so she wouldn't break that promise to herself. Though it'd be hurtful so that would break another promise. But after a moment of not really giving it much thought, just looking like she had; she cracked up laughing with a smile on her face that told him she was far from actually serious about it. Bella felt herself growing more comfortable and light hearted as she moments went on, she was certainly in a better mood then when Jake first arrived in the forest and they'd started to fight right off the bat pretty much. She hated fighting with him, she really did; then again he made it pretty easy to do half the time. "Will you stop that, what is with you people and talking about death all the time?" she asked, a last little burst of anger finding its way out of her as she looked him directly in the eye with a look that told him she was quite upset with that word and the topic. With him and Edward, and probably the others two, it was always either something or death. Either Bella living or death had pretty much always been Edward's think, the night of her birthday he'd talked about if she wasn't around anymore he'd probably go have himself killed or something. Which was quite the depressing thought in itself so it was obvious that she hated the people she cared about talking about going off and dying rather then doing something else; both options would make her extremely unhappy and it was obvious by her current expression that she hated people using death in their 'either or' situations.
Bella listening to him laugh had brought back a slightly happier side to her because she could never really stay angry at him for long. It didn't really feel possible for her, she wasn't that type of person with any of the people in her life. She just couldn't bare feeling angry at someone of something which was probably another reason she turned it around and blamed herself half the time because she could handle being angry at herself. It was just easier that way... oh, perhaps right there was a break through for her? You never really know, they come at the strangest of times. "True... when my life got real messed up, look what I got out of it." she smiled at him, playing her hand across his cheek a moment as a sign of affection towards her best friend; before it slipped back down to rest against his chest and make idle circles and other shapes. When her life had been utterly horrible and she felt completely messed up and empty inside, Jake had come along and made things feel better in a way. So that was something good she got out of the whole ordeal, a best friend that seemed to love her unconditionally no matter what she did or what she said. So it was quite the proof to the words, extremely smart words for Jacob Black, that he just used. "You sure it can hold two, with this massive body of yours? Though I am quite small." she teased with a playful grin on her face, the kind she rarely noticed she was doing; the kind that made you want to kiss her even. "A sleep over?" she asked, thinking on the thought. "I think that's something that I need, a fun day of hanging out with my best friend. No fighting and getting to ride that bike again without having to worry about splitting my head open." she laughed softly.
It seemed like it might just cheer her up, then again she'd have to call and let the others know she wouldn't be back to the house. Unless she went back and got some stuff first and told them in person... which would be best cause she needed a change of clothes, she couldn't wear the same thing for that long. When he lifted his pinky she giggled some put lifted her own and curled it around his massive and over heated pinky. "Pinky promise." she said simply with a nod of her head. He knew what she'd do to him if he did, but then again she knew with Jake those treats would never really stop him. "I'll have to go back to the Cullen house first, get a change of clothes and stuff." she told him, seeing as most of her clothes and things had been moved over there from Charlie's house. They'd told him it was because she was going to be living there any way, but the stuff had been moved after she got back and she knew that staying at the Cullen house was much safer then spending too much time around her father since she still was a newborn even if her control seemed to be doing alright so far. It was just... safe for her father, no matter if it hurt him and man did she hate that she knew it did. He didn't want his daughter leaving him, even if he never said much and didn't hover; she could tell that's what he was thinking even without Edward reading his mind.
WORDCOUNT// 2835
RESERVEDOROPEN// for bella's air breathing pup (aka jake) <3
BRAINJUICE// none
NOTEPAD//
alright... so bella is in a good mood
right about now. i wonder if we can
wreck it some how. lmao. jk jk... idk.
maybe jake'll do something stupid. xP
hehe. i officially love this post. =) <3
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Post by JACOB BLACK on Sept 18, 2009 20:39:59 GMT -5
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - OUR HANDS CLASPEDW A I T I N G F O R T H E H I N T O F S P A R K _________________________________________________ Maybe his Bells was turning into a evil master mind because the way her face looked right now he was becoming convinced. At least she didn't seem to be in a bad mood again and that was always a good thing. Though, her anger might of left because now she got to think of ways to release hell on him. Okay, that was a little over exaggerated... cooking food on him and dumping jello mix on his head couldn't be compared to what hell was supposed to be like, but that's not the point. He snorted out his nose and rolled his eyes as she stuck out her tongue at him. Bella's definitely hasn't changed in her personality, but Jake was glad for that. "I'm not cute. I'm a giant wolf with fangs the size of your head," he said with a soft laugh and glaring at her playfully for her him being cute when he's a werewolf comment. Cute is hardly what any normal person would think if they saw a massive russet colored monster bursting out of the trees growling like death was out to get them. But apparently his Bella would walk right up to him and pet his head, cooing and scratching his chin like a little puppy dog. Wait, she's done that before. Of course, she has. Jacob simply grinned at the memory because when he had shifted back to his human form she burst out in giggles because he had gotten mad that she was treating him like an actual puppy. And because, well, he enjoyed it just like a pup would. No wonder her new nickname for him was Pup, it really did suite him better, which did not help his ego out too much. The idea of her cooking food on him returned back to his mind and a new thought appeared; maybe he wouldn't mind her eating eggs off him. Yeah sure, most people used whipped cream and strawberries, but Jake could settle for eggs. Now if only his Bells really ate human food, then he could at least pretend that's what she was doing if she did try to cook things on him.
Jake could see it all happening in his head, like a movie about the second that he accidentally let a bad thought slip out. If Edward was the normal Edward who acted as though he could push anything aside for Bella, then he probably wouldn't do much besides ask Bells about it later. But Jake couldn't be so sure because it might depend on how much he tortured the bloodsucker with it. He didn't want to act as though he had won a prize because how close he had come to taking Bella; it made seem as though he only saw her as a possession he wanted to own. That was the last thing that he wanted this situation to turn into because he loved Bella. Not as a possession, of course not; he loved her like there was tomorrow, even if he had to hide those very feelings and emotions offend. "Alright, sounds good to me," but that caring side of Jake made him want to deal with this instead of her. Maybe he would too... or not? That would probably piss off Bella. But he could do it in a orderly fashion, showing up at the Cullen's house, knocking on the door politely. The leech was an old fashioned kind of guy and wouldn't just kick him off his property, no matter how much they didn't get along currently. Jacob could just explain what happened and how it was all his fault because he was the one who tried taking to the next level and take all the blame. Edward liked honestly, right? So, wouldn't that just solve everything? Well everything but... Jake and Bella. If he did that then what if Edward told her what he said and she really believed him that Jake thought it was mistake and it would never happen again? Because the werewolf would tell the bloodsucker that to get Bella out of trouble, but it was a complete lie. He didn't want to make Bella think that he was really starting to get over her because every second of his life he was falling for her even deeper. As unhealthy as that sounds, it's the hard truth.
The second Jacob had gotten over his illness, he had felt stronger than anyone or anything should feel. It was abnormal and Jake wasn't sure what to think of it at first. The part about changing into a nine foot wolf hadn't bothered as much as the fact that he couldn't be around Bella because he was afraid of his own power. This power... it just wasn't... right. Everything he touched he felt as though he had to baby it and when anyone came near him that was out of his pack, he'd walk away, fearful that they may say something just to make his anger pop a bubble. And the one bubble could turn into the loss of someone's head, so Jake had just it was best. Bella had been there and taught him otherwise and was forever grateful. No matter how much Sam had warned him back then that getting involved with his fragile human was too dangerous, but he couldn't stop him from seeing his Bells when he wanted too. "You will," he assured with half nod, skimming his eyes down her pale, rock-like skin. The color may haven't have changed but the feeling had. She was always ice cold and as solid a boulder, but Jake happened to like that, so that part didn't matter to him all that much. The texture was the same, as he experienced from that wonderful day just the beginning of this week. During the time he was changing though, he had been terrified that Bells wouldn't pick up on his clues. He could only hope that she picked up on his signs and the night he climbed into her room had made her finally realize the truth after giving her all he could. Sam had ordered him to not tell Bella the truth and since he used to the alpha, Jacob was forced to follow him. He literally couldn't have told her. It was the most frustrating thing, but his little Bells had gotten his clues and came to the beach the next day. Though she had been furious, but not because of what he was, but because she thought he was a murderer, killing people out in the woods, when really it was Victoria. Of course, that was straightened out fast since he explained to her that he was the one tracking the murderers, not the one doing the killing. "Exactly, Bells. Give yourself time; it's my order," he said, pointing a firm finger at her with a smile tugging at his lips, "and when I give an order I expect them to be followed. After all, I am alpha and you are my best friend, which makes you part of my pack," he said with a wink.
The werewolf rolled his eyes when she said it was her excuse and she could use it whenever she wanted. "So you admit that it's only an excuse," he pointed out slyly. To him, Bells wasn't any problem at all. She could think she was all the trouble in the world, but that was never going to change his point of view on her. Yes, she did cause him pain by breaking his heart and constantly doing so by every split second she spent with that other bloodsucker, but that part of him that she dug into so offend was always replaced when she came laughing up to him with a bright smile on her face. Or when she teased him having that devilish appearance that drove Jake insane. "What? Are you serious?" he pouted, crossing his arms and looked away, "And you just got done telling me how stubborn I am? How about three fourths of an arm? That way I can snap their elbow in half? They always scream at that part," bloodlust filled his eyes for a minute as that picture came to his kind. When Jake had killed Laurent he had played around with him a little since Sam was busy with making sure no other vampires were following Laurent. Before making the fire to burn the black haired vampire in, Jake had taken to the pleasure of snapping his elbows back, the wrong way, just for the hell of it. After all, it was the same vampire who was about to kill his vampire girl out in the meadow one day. Even Laurent had let out a pained yell, who wouldn't? It was sick, but Jake liked hearing those red eyed vamps scream in pain. They deserved it more than any other creature that roamed this Earth. "Well, it'll be easy with me. All you've gotta do is hang on to me and everything will work out perfectly," he answered back with a tiny shrug of his shoulders like this was completely obvious. He shouldn't of guaranteed that it would be perfect, but in his current state of mind he couldn't see anything going wrong. "Okay, that's just scary to think about," he muttered thinking if the boogie man was alive and breathing just like him and Bells. They were vampires and werewolves, two mythical creatures such as the boogie man.
The look on her face told Jake that she was serious as she had ever been. It only lasted for a minute, but Jake took it serious for that whole minute about to explain what he had meant. He would never put a real drill to his head; who the hell would? Unless, they're some maniac who has decided that the best way to commit suicide is to drill a hole into their head. When he opened his mouth at her frown, about to spill over in explanation, she burst out laughing again, showing him that she'd tricked him once more. The werewolf scowled at her, not laughing along this time. Today was just a day she felt like tormenting him, wasn't? Really, he didn't have a problem with that, he loved to see Bella enjoying herself to much, but he hated getting his ego crushed. Being tricked twice in the same day by the same trick wasn't something to be proud of. "Yeah, just get me all worried and then laugh. Thanks, Bella, I appreciate it," he murmured, rolling his chocolate brown eyes. It was one of those moments where the person who was tricked wasn't hurt at all, even if they acted as if the were. And the person who had made them believe something false for a moment could tell that it hadn't hurt their feelings and just kept on laughing even if the other person didn't laugh along with them. Jacob was a bit taken aback when Bella released a new found anger about him rather dying than saying it ever again. Which made him quite happy, honestly. It showed how much she cared for him and Jake loved it because at least she cared for him enough not wanting him to die. That was a good step, right? "Hey, hey, hey," he said defensively, "I'm not really gonna die over it, Bells. I was just trying to make my point," he stated, taking one hand off her legs and running it through his wet, black hair. His hair was beginning to dry out from the breeze that came through the maze of trees every so offend.
The thought of kissing Bella never ceased to leave his mind. It was part of his daily thought process, like other things that just come natural without having to think about it and it just happened. Such as blinking. It was almost as offend as every time he blinked that he thought about kissing her, since she was so close to him right now. If he pulled a stupid stunt like that right now then there would be one of two out comes. The first one being Bella would accept it like she had down on the beach, allowing her weak part to fight for her to pick Jake instead of Edward. Though, the second would be she rejected him and screams at him... and gets furious... and possibly smacks him again... and, well, a whole lot of other things that Jake didn't want to think about. It was too risky, she was thinking to clearly at the moment for Jacob to take this moment for his own selfish needs. Though, it became hard to push those needs away as she ran her finger lightly over his cheek, smiling brightly up at him, like she was an angel who just fell from heaven. "I would say it was a pretty good trade," he remarked, watching her hand fall back down to his toned chest and begin to trace aimless shapes. Jake wasn't even thinking fully as he took the opposite hand that was occupied around her waist and he gently put his hand over hers, so that it stopped moving across his chest and laid flat where his heart was. No, Jake was not doing anything romantic. He was trying not to cross the lines with Bella again since she had just stopped fighting with him about the event, but he wasn't ready to let go of having these moments. Where Bella could feel his heart race and dance at the presence of her hand over it. Jacob found it soothing, closing his eyes, but silently lifted his hand off hers with a sigh. It didn't help when she smirked in a way that made her more appealing, sending off sexy vibes. Jacob tried to regain focus by listening to her words, but they seemed to be blocked by his thoughts of just leaning down and closing that space... "No," he whispered harshly at himself, not meaning to say that out loud. "Um... I mean, no... I think we'll both fit on the bike. I'm not that big," he covered up as best as he could, with a delightful grin. The werewolf chuckled at her words as she declared that she could finally ride a bike without having to worry about her head getting split. "Then it's a date," he said, realizing his mistake there, "I mean, like a... friend date," he raised an eyebrow trying to reword it correctly, but he gave up and just laughed at himself.
Bella's ice pinky curled around his own as she pinky promised back, as though they were both five years old like she had mentioned earlier about him. Jacob nodded his head about her going back to get some clothes, "Sure; when you get them do you want me to come with you or will I just slow you down?" he mused with a teasing smile. Chances were very high that his Bells was faster than him now that she was a newborn and also the none humorous fact that Edward might be there and read Jake's mind. That wouldn't turn out to be a very pretty moment. The thought of Bella's hunting crossed his mind after a second of a pause between the two. "So, are you done feasting or do you want prance around a little more?" he asked, guessing that she would know what he meant. He didn't want to say the words out loud, asking if she had enough blood to drink in order to stay civilized. Jacob wrapped both his arms around her, thinking about the deer she must of gotten earlier. What would Jake of done if he saw her sink her teeth into it's flesh and then look back at him with hungry eyes and a blood stained mouth? Could he accept her like that?
[/size] NOTES
i was too tired to wreck it, lol
but i think we need something
to happen between them before
nothing ends up happening XD
i mean something like we screw
up a moment and they get mad
at each other or idk xP something
just needs to happen! x3
WORDS 2855.
TAGGED Jessi !
TUNES Write You A Song - Plain White T's [/font] [/blockquote] |
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Post by ISABELLA SWAN on Sept 19, 2009 22:41:11 GMT -5
WHEN I USED TO SLEEP I COULD DREAM,
of better places and i'd scream Bella had tried to convince herself lately, that anger was just making everything worse. When she was angry, she felt worse about things and the situations around her and she seemed to act quite badly to events. When something simply said something near to an effect she didn't like, she'd get upset and she wanted to stop doing that. She wanted to just be that happy little Bella that hardly had to worry about things like her best friend being in love with her or the possibility that her future husband might just turn out to be a killer... well, ignoring what he'd done in the past before she was even born and knew him and loved him. He'd atoned for those mistakes and had changed his ways, but if it turned out to be true that he'd taken another life after all that then Bella didn't know how she'd react. Sure there was red in his eyes, meaning there had been human blood in his system; but there was a number of ways it could have gotten there. Someone could've forced it... yeah, forcing it sounded like a much simple explanations; seeing as he didn't remember anything from around the time it had to have happened. And Bella's own memory was nearly absent of her from the week she was kidnapped. Meaning someone had to have caused them to loose it some how, but that seemed like a pretty impressive power. And why then, when her shield worked against Edward and that ridiculous Aro; did it not work against this new player in the game of 'who can hurt Bella the most'? It was all very confusing and now, everything with her best friend and her storming feelings inside just made the confusion worse and she hated it. She just wanted to be able to honestly tell someone that asked, that she was perfectly fine and there was nothing to worry about with any situation that may come up. But she couldn't be honest and honestly say that she was fine because she wasn't and she was hardly about to lie, so in some ways avoiding such topics felt more simple yet it just seemed to build everything up.
"You're fangs are hardly the size of my head." she retorted, chuckling softly with a roll of her eyes. She'd seen him and the others in wolf form before and while yes they were quite massive in their own right; his fangs weren't nearly the size of her head. "You're big and brownish and fluffy and adorable." she teased because she knew that it bugged him, so her goal in that was achieved when he reacted the way he had; only making her laugh and smile at him some more. She could still remember treating him like a puppy dog because in truth that's what he was to her, her big fluffy puppy dog of a best friend; no matter if he might terrify someone else who saw him. She thought about what she might have to say to Edward about this, the conversation had come up a few times before about what was best for her and what would make her happy. But she knew in her heart, or at least believed in the non-beating organ, that Edward was and always would be the right thing for her even if he hardly thought it himself and thought himself lucky after everything she still wanted to be with him. "He'll understand..." she spoke more to her self then to Jake, though it was partly in a response to him. She sighed softly, hoping she was right about that because the last thing in the world she wanted to do was upset him though she knew it would probably hurt even if he was good at hiding the pain from her. She'd have to have Jasper in the area and get the truth out of him because when Edward felt it, Jasper would too and he'd be able to tell her. Though dragging Edward's family members into it for solely their gifts was probably a bad idea and she was tired of the feeling that she was using people. Even after what she'd been through with Jasper, knowing he still probably hated part of himself for it, she loved the guy like a brother to look up to when she needed to see some stability in her life. He'd indulged in human blood the most, for years, before deciding to leave it; so he certainly knew something about control and making up for wrongful actions.
Bella had hated those moments, when Jake was ignoring her, more then she thought she could hate a lot of things in that time. He'd been her best friend and up until that moment, there for her every minute she needed. When he started to say confusing things and remind her of the story he'd told her, it took her a bit to catch on but when she did she'd gotten angry that he hadn't told her. She didn't freak out or run away because of what he was, she embraced her best friend's change because things like that didn't matter to her. Being a werewolf or a vampire, was like someone being albino. She could care less because she didn't pay attention to those parts of people, she cared about plenty of other things inside them and the fact they were good looking was a bonus. She could hardly care, being as stubborn as she always has been, that her best friend and boyfriend could squish her easily or rip her to shreds without barely doing anything. She was scared to lose them, not scared of what they were. Which in the end when she told either of them this, it'd surprised them and Edward had even laughed a little. "Part of your pack? Am I gonna start spouting fur?" she asked, looking at herself hurriedly with a laugh as if checking her body for unnatural hair that certainly shouldn't be there. "Alright... I'm giving myself say, six months. If I haven't after that, I'm blaming you." she teased him playfully, grinning at him a little and she felt glad to be in a good mood. It was much more energizing and fulfilling then being in a sour or angry mood as she had been earlier during their fight and most of the time she was able to sit down for five or more minutes by herself and think over everything in her life that had caused her issues or stress or problems in general; another reason she was glad her mind was unreadable.
"To an extent... stop using my words against me." she matched his sly tone with a cocky one, in a way she was challenging him to do it again but laughed moments later. She loved the fact that she could get to him in many different ways, it gave her a reason to be proud of her self and her abilities. Though if she was any other woman, she might've lost respect for him on the matter that she could so easily effect him with a few simple words or actions. But she wasn't like some of those stuck up and prissy woman who thought men like him were weak or something, she admired Jake for how strong he was and how he dealt with everything he was going through. Some of it being her fault and all. "It's sad you get some sort of sick enjoyment out of that, but fine. Three fourths." she laughed, giving in to his demands with a laugh and smile on her face. Though in truth it was kind of creepy he enjoyed it so much, but in a way that just made him Jake even more. She could remember him and the pack saving her life and hearing the screams and smelling the smoke and all the emotions that ran through her when it happened. Quite a few people had ended up saving her life at one point or another the last couple of years. Edward with James, Sam when she was huddled and cold in the forest after Edward left, Jake and the pack with Laurent, most of the vampires and wolves in her life when the New born army came; and a few other times she really didn't feel like recalling. Hell, she didn't even want to recall the ones she'd just thought of, all of them haunting memories that in a way... surviving had made her stronger. "Scary indeed.. i'm double checking every room I go into from now on." she snickered with an air of seriousness. If vampires and werewolves were real, you could never tell what else was.
"You're welcome." she snickered, smiling proudly of herself at him. In a way she got her own form of enjoyment out of seeing his reacts, which in it's own way could be a guilty pleasure of hers yet it was kind of a funny one to have. Enjoyment out of worrying your best friend? Yeah... there were support groups or anything for people like that. Sarcastic thought. But Bella had liked watching him and seeing how she effected him, it gave her a better outlook on herself and the things she did that she probably didn't realize she was doing half the time. "Well I wish everyone would stop using 'death' to make a point, it's not helpful." she huffed, that air of seriousness about her once more in that moment. She hated the thought of losing any of the people she cared about and Jake was high up there on her list. She just wished people would stop referring to death over something else happening because the thought of them dying killed Bella in turn because they were that important to her and losing them was like losing a part of her self. "Damn good trade." those words were hardly like Bella but they got the point across. When his hand lay over hers to stop it against his heart she felt his heated flesh sizzle into her cold marble skin and cause a tingle to run down her spin. She loved being able to hear that sound so clearly with her new ears, it almost made up for her own heart beat being gone. I love you... those words rang from the mouth of the weak part of her, but didn't make it out of her mouth and just floated around in her head for a moment. She knew she wanted to say them, because she did love him; but saying things like that gave him and that weak part of her false hope when that strong part was still so dominant over her and loved Edward fully. She wished she could just split into two people, one for Edward and one to make Jake happy; but she couldn't so she gave into that strong side of her because she knew without Edward there'd hardly be any of her left. That's how she felt and the feeling wasn't going away any time soon, no matter what that weak part of her wanted. She just couldn't let that weak part get the better of her, ever moment that she did she was allowing herself something that shouldn't happening and the moment the stronger side of her took over it always broke Jake's heart again and again and she was tired of doing that. She hated hurting him because it hurt every inch of her as well.
"True... and I'm pretty small." she mused, letting the thoughts of the bike over take her romantic and confusing thoughts that had popped up in her head like a jack-in-the-box clown when it burst from it's box. She knew in a way being on that bike again might remind her of an Edward-less time, but in a way it'd make her feel better and bring the two back to those moments when their friendship was forming. Course in it's own way, unbeknown to her, it was giving that weak part of her and Jake a reminder of the moments that the little bits of love grew inside Bella and sprang forward inside Jake. So there could either be a really good and stress relieving ending to tomorrow... or there could be a bad and stress adding ending. She was hoping for the first one, where they could just be best friends enjoying each others company. Though lately that seemed pretty much impossible, with Jake's thoughts probably always being how to win Bella over and Bella's own thoughts trying to figure out every detail in her own mind and end her annoying confusion. Heck... she was even confusing herself now when she was trying not to. "It's a date." she primarily used those words to tease him, her voice giving that away but it was fun to watch him react. As she'd come to terms with earlier, she loved watching the reactions she could get out of him with the things that she did. It was just hilarious when you could make someone think you were pissed at them by saying one thing and acting serious for a moment then bursting out in laughter. She'd pulled that on him twice today, she wondered if she could get a third out of him but would try that later just so it wasn't too close together that she did it so he couldn't catch on.
"It'll be faster if I go alone, sorry pup." she teased him once again as she shifted herself to show she was about to stand up. She was comfortable there in his lap, feeling his heat against her that had much more of an effect on her then before when she was human. At that point it had a burning, causing her to sweat reaction out of her. But lately... after the change, there was just a much different feeling that she couldn't explain. "I'm fine... though I may leave you in the middle of the night for an hour or so, just to be safe." she answered him honestly, knowing full well what he'd meant. She knew he must hating thinking of her like that, but if she went without food for too long her control got well... harder to control and she might lose it. She didn't want that, specially around a town where she knew a lot of the humans that was contained within it. She stood up onto her feet, taking his hand and pulling him up with her, the result having him very close to her though she was thankful she hadn't thrown him behind her. She'd been very careful, yay Bella. "Just go home and I'll meet you there." she smiled, before realizing what she was even doing she leaned up and placed a kiss on his lips like one might do when saying goodbye to a significant other. BELLA! scolded that strong part in her as the weak part cheered her on but she pulled away nearly as fast as she leaned up and moved with a burst of speed to where she was a good few feet away. "I'll see you in a little bit." she smiled, speaking as if she hadn't just done that. Though the way her tone came out, it sounded more like she hadn't minded doing it. And part of her hadn't. But that part was quickly kicked in the ass by the stronger part as she waved at him and was off through the forest towards the Cullen home to get some things. Bella had to learn a different kind of control and fast... the control over that weak part, it's random moments of winning were starting to cause problems.
WORDCOUNT// 2900
RESERVEDOROPEN// for bella's air breathing pup (aka jake) <3
BRAINJUICE// animals, nickelback
NOTEPAD//
haha. i feel i worded it weirdly at some points.
idk, i let bella do most of the work. xD hope you
and your inner jake like it. go ahead and create
a thread at his house next, rather then replying
here. hehe. i can't wait to see what comes up. =)
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Post by JACOB BLACK on Sept 20, 2009 14:47:48 GMT -5
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