to prove i can't (survive) .bella.

[JACOB BLACK]

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I DONT WANNA BE THE FOOL
T H A T G E T S L E F T B E H I N D I N T H E D U S T
_________________________________________________

Everything seemed to be amiss today. The air was warm, but the sky was rumbling with gray clouds causing an overcast. Lately, the weather seemed to be haunting, despite the fact that it was Summer. None of this bothered Jacob Black; he was much too focused on more important things. Such as Isabella Swan. She seemed to be the main topic in his life and there was no doubt that he didn't plan on changing that any time soon. The tan boy ducked out of room, heading for the door to go outside. It was early still, but he couldn't wait to see Bella. Edward had called his cell phone the day he got back and found the once human girl had come home. Jake had burst into wolf form and ran the entire way home without taking a break and he had only arrived back home this morning. He couldn't take a nap, not when his Bella had been hurting so much. The bloodsucker had told him the entire story... is it bad to say that Jacob was almost happy to hear it? Besides the fact that his sweet Bella had become a vampire, but at this point all he wanted to do was be able to lay his eyes on her once more. He had thought he'd lost her forever during the time she had been missing.

Now, Jake pushed the door to his small house open and headed toward the First Beach where he was planning on meeting Bella. How would she look? Hopefully he wouldn't be able to see the bite mark where she had been bitten. If he saw it... he would loose it. Being pressed past his limits, Jake was on edge and as emotional as ever. His mood swings were slashing at him as he picked up his pace, getting frustrated that he couldn't move faster. "Damn feet," he muttered as they began to ache. That's what he got for staying on them the entire time searching for Bella. He reached the top of the beach, having to jump over some logs and rocks in order to reach the shore line. Once upon on the shore he started moving along the edge of the water, his eyes becoming intent on what laid in front of him. Jake didn't know how he would react to seeing Bella as a vampire. He was furious over the phone with Edward and that bloodsucker made it even worse when he mentioned that it could of been him that murdered those people. Of course, the leech had defended himself and thought he was innocent, but Jacob thought differently.

The black haired boy walked about half way down the beach before carefully sitting himself on top of a washed up log. Every single muscle ached in his body all because of one girl. Yet, he still knew it was all worth this moment. He knew he would pull Bells into a hug and never want to let go her. He knew that it would take all he had not to kiss her when he saw her beautiful face and flawless skin. Most of all he knew that he would be there for her no matter what she said to him or what happened. Jake was stubborn like that; there was no denying it. Resting his face in the palm of his hands, he rested his elbows on his kneecaps, waiting very impatiently. He bounced his leg up and down with nerves, about ready to keep on walking until he ran into her, but he wasn't sure he had enough strength to make it that far. No sleep for week does tend to make people weak, especially if your running the whole time. Jacob watched the ocean waves come in and out as a pulling tide. "Bella as a vampire," he mumbled, testing the words on his tongue. They didn't sound too appealing, but there was nothing he could do about that. She had turned into the one thing he hated most, but she had always been his exception.

NOTES My starters always suck -.-
WORDS 687.
TAGGED Jessi
CREDIT BY HEY BAYBAY !? AT CAUTION !

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[ISABELLA SWAN]

WHERE WERE YOU THAT DAY ?
when i laid my heart in your hands

Humans... the town was full of them, but as Bella looked in the mirror she knew there was one less in the smallest town she'd ever been in. She sighed softly, running her fingers along her hair that she knew would never change again or even grow for that matter. Running her fingers under her eyes she looked at their vibrant and nearly liquid gold state, she'd fed early this morning so she knew she'd be alright for a bit. She wasn't as good as the others just yet, she had to feed more often then them to stay in control; but she'd done a damn good job of controlling herself so far so she wasn't too worried. She sighed to herself, looking around the room that belonged to Edward; remembering the first day she ever saw it as a smile perked its way onto her lips. She could hear Alice and Esme talking in the kitchen, thinking to herself that it was at least nice she could hear things a lot better now. Looking out towards the open window she sighed to herself once more, knowing she could easily take the leap out of it now without holding on to Edward. But... that was their thing, so she gave in and went out of his room in as humanly of ways as she could think of; but she couldn't help moving a little faster. She made her way to the living room where she found Alice sitting with Jasper and smiled a tiny bit at them, that was all she could muster. Lately she'd been such a wreck... hell, how would you feel if you'd been kidnapped and couldn't even remember being changed other then flashes of pain and then waking up to find yourself alone and a vampire? It felt like hell really. She'd been planning the whole thing; marrying Edward, their honey moon, coming back and being changed with help from Carlisle and loads of drugs. But no, she had to be forced into it by some sick asshole and left to fend for herself.

She'd been lucky not to attack a human when the thirst had burned in her throat, basically she'd woken up to find herself alone and took off as fast as she could. The first animal to come into her path had certainly been in trouble though, the wonderful tasting cougar she'd found in the mountains after running for as long as she could think to run. Away from humans. Showing up on the Cullen's door step, being what she was and then the next day finding out her Edward might possibly had killed some humans. It was all very traumatic, except for the cougar part; that'd been the sweetest part of it. Breathing in an unneeded breath she realized she was thinking like too much of a beast herself, telling Alice rather quickly she was going out for air and she'd be back later. Alice probably couldn't see what she was going to do exactly, but that in itself would be a dead give away who she was going to see. And once her shoe covered feet had hit the dirt she took off running through the forest; trying to not trip over something. She was still somewhat of a klutz, and she'd been hoping at least that part would go away upon her change. Stopping a moment before stepping out of the trees, she touched her fingers to the old scar on her right wrist from James and then to her side nearest that arm; fingering the bite mark there, feeling the crescent shape against her marbled skin and sighing. That wasn't the only mark she'd had from the change and given the slight size difference of that one as well as the one up her left arm near the inner crease of her elbow; she knew there was at least two vampires that had attacked her.

'Stop it, stop it right now Bella!' she scolded herself, shaking her head as if that'd help get the thoughts out of her head. Snarling instinctively at her self she sighed, taking her fingers off the scar from James and looking a head of her towards the water and rocks. Looking one direction she noticed the cliffs and wondered what it'd be like to jump off them as a vampire. She shrugged her shoulders without realizing it, the wind shifting towards her and she caught Jacob's scent and in that moment a smile pulling onto her lips with out her even meaning to smile. That's what her best friend did for her... but how would he react? She knew he knew what she was, Edward had told him if she remembered correctly. Thinking of Edward would normally make her smile but at the moment it was another reason she was upset and somewhat panicked. What if the killings had been him? She didn't want to believe that it was possible, but his eyes had red in them when she saw him; covered by the amber shade animal blood had caused in their eyes but he smelt like humans too. 'Alright, that's it; stop this right now!' she got after herself again for thinking the worst and not thinking of only his innocence. Stepping forwards towards where Jacob sat, at a near human pace as not to throw too much at him. She was a vampire, a creature he hated; would he hate her too? She hoped not. She stood at the end of the log, looking nervous and confused as her arms folded in front of her. She could see now why Edward's nose always wrinkled around him, but to her she could still smell that rain forest pine; on top of the mutt smell. No offense to him of course, it's just with a higher sense of smell that's how she'd describe it to herself.

"Hey Jake..." she breathed out an unneeded breath, looking overly nervous as if she'd done something really bad when she was actually quite innocent. That's Bella for you, always innocent and always feeling imperfect. Even now she wasn't feeling like she was some glorious creature, a god among man kind; like she thought of Edward and his family. No, she still felt like a silly little imperfect thing that just so happened to be a vampire now with a huge change in eye color and her skin had paled a little more then when she'd been human. It had marbled out like Edward's and the others, but apparently she still smelt like Bella to her vampire family so that was an alright thing she figured. But to a wolf, how would that go along? Oh dear she was over worrying, nearly out of her own head as thoughts over took her mind and she stared at the sandy beach flooring; not knowing if she'd break down and sob a dry cry if she looked up at Jacob and saw what she feared she might see when she became what she was. Disgust... hatred... if she saw that in his eyes and on his face; she'd lose it completely.

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WORDCOUNT// 1 3 1 5
RESERVEDOROPEN// for jake. <3
BRAINJUICE// everything, alanis morissette
NOTEPAD// awe, poor bella. xD

[JACOB BLACK]

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I DONT WANNA BE THE FOOL
T H A T G E T S L E F T B E H I N D I N T H E D U S T
_________________________________________________

It was a wonder that his eyelids had managed to stay open as he took in a few deep breaths, constantly checking the air, hoping to get a whiff of Bella's scent. He swore he could almost feel the bags under his eyes darkening and getting heavier as he waited... and waited. She wasn't late, Jake was early. What else could you expect? He was a complete mess. He had no idea what to think; he could barely control his own body at this point. A picture of Bella appeared in his mind. Her brunette hair rolling down on to her shoulders, those soft green eyes staring back into his playful chocolate ones, her soft skin glowing against the sunlight with life, and that innocent, unsure smile of hers that drive him insane. And he knew the second he saw her that image would vanish and be replaced with an unknown vision. Jake let out a low sigh, he refused to think that she had changed. She was still Bella, no matter what species she was. Jacob glimpsed at the ocean water that was a dark navy blue and a clouded gray, making it so you could barely see the bottom. At least, the sun wasn't out so he wouldn't have to look at Bella while she sparkled like the other leeches. Don't think that... she isn't a leech... he scolded himself mentally, pursing his lips together so he wouldn't growl in denial. He tapped his fingers against the dark brown, wooden log, scenting the air again. He finally scented her. His Bella. At first, he decided that her scent wasn't that bad, but as she got closer to him and her scent became stronger he wanted to gag. Not to be mean of course... but she smelled exactly like every other single vampire. Jake scrunched up his nose, slamming his eyes shout and coughed lightly as the scent filled his throat and nostrils. He knew he must smell like a overgrown mutt to her, but she had no idea what horrible fragrance she was giving off. There were no words to really describe it, only that he wanted to get a few more miles away from her. Yet, he planted himself right there, waiting for her arrival.

When she was only a few yards away he could hear her foot-steps come at a quick pace toward him. The corners of his lips tugged up, remembering that she was probably faster than him now with her vampire speed. Not only that, she could be stronger. Jake wanted to laugh at the thought, but he couldn't because he felt her presence looming above him which was enough to silence his thoughts. It was as if he couldn't understand why she sounded so nervous to be standing beside him. He couldn't hate her, didn't she know that? If he had to blame someone for any of this it would be the Cullen boy and himself. Jake could have saved her... if he had been stronger and quicker he could of fucking saved her! Now she was in pain and her voice was leaking that misery that she had been feeling. Not able to look up at her yet, he stayed silent, knowing that he was making Bella feel like he hated her; which was not the case at all. He kept his eyes focused on the water that was coming up closer to where he sat in every minute. He focused his hearing on the seagulls that barked above him while passing over the sandy beach grounds. It felt like he couldn't register that his Bella was safely standing beside him, as if she had never left him. Jake crushed his eyelids shut to collect himself. He remembered the day that he had found out that Bells had gone missing. He was pissed at her because of the wedding, so he hadn't seen her in quite some time and had refused to pick up the phone when Edward's number kept blinking on his cellphone's screen. Finally when Jake couldn't stand how many calls he was getting every ten minutes he picked up and that's when the bloodsucker told him the news. Jake didn't just go into panic but he went... mental. Anger had hit him like lightening, in result Jacob had destroyed the living room by throwing things and grabbing his head before falling on his knees in a complete daze. It was as his whole world had come crashing down in that one minute.

The passing minutes had only gotten worse. Jake had run out the door, bursting into his wolf form, bolting through the streets. All his common sense had left him, he didn't give a damn if any human saw a giant seven foot wolf galloping down the hot paved roads. All because he was blind sided by these evil thoughts that had dribbled into his mind. Luckily, no one had been outside since it was late at night. Thinking about how Bella could be laying dead somewhere in a dark alleyway. Or that someone could have her locked up in their basement. Hell; the thought of her being tortured and raped had even crossed his mind! Jacob had never felt so lonely in his entire life. He had finally understood why Bella had been such a wreck when Edward left her so suddenly, just like she had been taken from him so easily.

Jacob flashed his eyes open, letting the memories drain as he turned his head and glimpsed at the gorgeous woman that stood in front of him. She was worriedly glancing at the ground, acting as if the small golden pebbles that lined the ground were actually something fun to stare at. Jacob was completely emotionless as he took in every detail of her new appearance. Her hair was still the same, but that seemed to be the only familiar observation he could make. Her skin was a flawless white and Jacob could almost feel the coldness seeping out of her skin like when you first open a freezer. Her eyes were no longer the loving green, but now a bright topaz that danced around like they were burning flames of a wild fire. She stood in an awkward way that seemed too graceful to be his Bells. Yet, Jacob found himself standing up, entranced by her. The black haired boy dropped his guard completely as he stepped forward and instantly wrapped the familiar body into his arms. He didn't care that she was probably stronger than him because now he could squeeze her as hard as he wanted without hurting her. Jake tightened his arms around her, feeling her marble cold skin against his warm, soft flesh. He nuzzled his nose into her hair, taking in her scent, not caring how bad it smelled because this was still Bella.It's still her... he silently repeated, closing his eyes in relief of his conclusion. Smirking into her hair, Jake ran his fingers through her brunette strands in a loving matter. "Christ, Bells, you stink," he chucked lightly, pulling back from her so he could stare into her new golden eyes. Even though she did look different, it wasn't as bad as he imagined. She was beautiful, human or vampire. The werewolf put his hand on her cheek, feeling his exhaustion melt away as he shook his head, shaking off the temptation to kiss her. This time if he tried pulling that again, when she punched him in the face, it would hurt like hell. So instead he softened his eyes, "I'm so sorry," he said, only to pull her back into his arms for another hug.

Like he had guessed he never wanted to let her go.

NOTES Woo!
WORDS 1334.
TAGGED Jessi
TUNES Silver Bullet - Hawthorne Heights

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[ISABELLA SWAN]

WHERE WERE YOU THAT DAY ?
when i laid my heart in your hands

Life... she technically didn't have one anymore, if you wanted to get serious. Her human life had been stripped from her before she'd planned on giving it up. That wasn't fair, it was far from fair. It was completely horrible and unthinkable and yet it'd happened to her, she was forced into something she'd promised to wait for. She was supposed to be a good girl and wait until after the wedding and honeymoon, she'd promised Edward and his family that she'd at least wait that long but that was has long as she'd wait. Now here she stood, a creature created out of horror and fright rather then the love of a man who wanted to spend eternity with her. It upset her so much to think of the vampires that did this to her, that she'd actually punched the side of a building and did some pretty good damage to it. That was one of the first moments she had to tell herself to be careful, she wasn't a weak human anymore. No matter how much she felt like one right now, she was an immortal creature that was probably quite stronger then her new coven as well as her best friend. Newborn strength was supposed to out best some of the older vampires, but after a year she'd become quite the normal vampire. Other then her gift though, which she found was a really strange one and hardly different from when she was human. Her mind, it was still blocked from Edward's intrusion but everyone else he could read; everyone but her. She supposed knowing that made her feel a little better, her thoughts were her own and she had a one up on those Volturi twins. They couldn't touch her with their gifts, so she was grateful it carried over from her human life. Even if Edward was still butt hurt about it. She knew Alice liked holding it over his head that she could see into Bella's future and Edward couldn't see into her mind, one reason Bella loved to mess with Alice and hang around Jake which made Alice pretty much blind to her future. It was like... an ever repeated prank that'd always be useful and funny to Bella. Then again Bella was just happy she could find some form of human in all of the things that'd been going on lately. It was a distraction to pick on Alice, something she was grateful for in her own little way.

Standing there now she felt so different in many ways, yet so much the same as her weak little human self. She figured she'd always feel that way, it's just who she'd been her entire life. She could remember her first day of Forks High School, she'd been so out of her head and nervous of what ever had been going through her mind; that she jumped pretty much any time someone came up to her. She could still remember hitting Mike with the ball in gym, she'd told them not to let her play. Then again it was a fun way of meeting him and he was an alright friend in her life, though as with many of her other high school friends; he had no idea what her boyfriend and his family had really been and what she was now. Then again she didn't even know what to think of herself, she could stare in the mirror for hours and not really see anything but the same old klutzy Bella, just with some minor upgrades. It was kind of sad that, as a human, she'd been nearly as pale as the vampires she hung out with and now as a vampire herself there wasn't much difference. One big one she supposed, was her marbled and cold skin; nearly flawless except for the crescent shaped bite marks from James and the vampires that had turned her. She was happy at the moment, that the only one Jake could see was the old one James had left as a reminder of that day in the old studio. Thinking of that day just made her flash back to the past week she could barely remember, the actual pain of transformation was burned into her head though. That was one thing she'd never forget in a million years, even if she couldn't register anything else; not even a smell of one of the creatures she'd been around. All she knew was she was changed and left to fend for herself in an alley, humans not that far away and she'd managed to run off in a completely other direction and stop herself from being a blood thirsty, human munching, red eyed vampire like the ones she'd come to hate ever since she learned about Edward's world.

She didn't want to feel like a monster, but in her own way she did. She felt horrible, depressed and in a panic over the recent events. The way she was changed was far from how it was supposed to go, she'd forever remember it as the worst moments in her life; even if she technically didn't remember any of it at all except the pain. She wanted it to be this kind of beautiful thing, despite the pain. She'd wanted to have come home from her honeymoon and be changed around the comfort of her new legally bound family. But no, it was a nightmare she couldn't remember except in one brutal flash of pain every time she tried that nearly knocked her off her feet. All her thoughts had taken her away from the place she currently was, at least in her head; when his arms went around her and that warm soft flesh pressed into her own she nearly started to cry... if crying was possible for them. Her chest heaved dryly, a sign besides the absent heart beat that nothing worked inside her anymore. Curling her arms around his waist she embraced him with a careful tightness, not wanting to over power him and crush his ribs or anything like that. She didn't want to break her Jacob... he still felt like the last time she'd hugged him, overly warm and the soft skin was more noticeable against her cold and marbled pale skin. Her face found it's home against his chest and she still couldn't look up, but he didn't hate her... if he had he wouldn't be hugging her like he was. Like she was still his in her own way, like she'd always been and always would be even if she was with Edward. They were each others in a way that you can't really explain to anyone, but they knew it easily. No matter if she had plans, postponed at the moment, to marry Edward; thinking of him put her into a state of confusion again until Jacob spoke and her lips curled into a smile.

"Gee, thanks Jake; that makes me feel loads better." she laughed at his words, pulling back for only a moment to slap his chest in a playful manner. He still felt quite strong to her, even if her body wasn't human any more and probably stronger then his own. But she wouldn't test that theory. His hand to her cheek made the warm feeling seep into her cold skin and she could've sworn that the still heart in her chest was beating in her ears but it was just a memory of how her heart used to react. She finally managed to look up at him fully, inwardly laughing at the look in his eyes as his hand lay against her cheek. She knew that look, she could still remember the moment her fist had collided with his face and pretty much broke her hand. So she knew that look well and admired his restraint, even if the back of her mind she'd never minded the kisses they'd shared. But, even with the evidence against him, she was still with Edward and wouldn't do that... no matter the confused and panicked state of mind she was constantly in anymore, specially when she thought of the possibility that it might be true. That Edward might be a killer. "You're sorry, why are you sorry Jake?" she asked him, more confused now then she'd felt all morning, which was saying something. As she was pulled into another hug she excepted it, wrapping her arms around him as best as she could; he was still more bulk then her. Why would he be sorry though, was there something he should be sorry for? She could think of nothing, then again she was usually oblivious to a lot of things in life so it wouldn't surprised her if she'd missed something.

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WORDCOUNT// 1 6 1 1 <3
RESERVEDOROPEN// for jake. <3
BRAINJUICE// disconnect the dots, of montreal
NOTEPAD// okay, are they just cute or what? XD

[JACOB BLACK]

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I DONT WANNA BE THE FOOL
T H A T G E T S L E F T B E H I N D I N T H E D U S T
_________________________________________________

The breeze had picked up slightly; confirming that today was, indeed, going to be a chilly Summer day. Living in La Push, Jacob was used to that. Though, it was still hard to smell the fresh air over Bella's obnoxious scent, but that was besides the point this moment. Jacob was still in his clothes from when he left his house to go on a one on one search party for the woman wrapped in his arms. He didn't have a shirt on, which caused his burning up chest to be pressed into her, but he rarely ever wore shirt and they had established a long time ago that it didn't matter to her. He actually recalled teasing her about it, but what hadn't Jacob teased her about in the past? Jake had a pair of jeans that were ripped and dirty from being dragged along his journey and torn up when he ran through the woods and got cut on branches and his wolf teeth. Since he had been in such a rush to get out to the beach, he had only gone home to check up on Billy, who wasn't home because he was out at Charlies to comfort his friend. At that's what his father's note had said on the table and Billy did try to pull tricks on Jake every once in awhile and attempt to get away with things he didn't want Jake knowing about. Such as meetings with other fathers so they could talk about the history of tribe or other creepy things that Jake really wasn't that interested in. There was no point in even hiding that kind of stuff from the shape-shifter because he wouldn't ask about it anyways. Jake hadn't even thought about putting on shoes when he had hurriedly ducked out of the small confined living room and out into the musty weather outside. He was so used to not wearing anything to cover and protect his feet, it never occurred to his mind that if he stepped on something it might actually hurt him. Though his feet were tough from how offend he left his house barefoot and not only that, if something did cut his foot it would heel almost instantly. So, that wasn't much of a problem. His hair was in a messy disaster, but he figured that Bella wouldn't mind. With the messy hair and the bags under his eyes, he assumed that Bells would automatically guess why he looked that why.

When she hugged him back, he could easily feel how much stronger she was. Jacob was thankful that she was being careful about how much power she used so she didn't crush him, but it felt strange to him. It used to be him who had to be careful of not squishing Bells like a petite, hopeless bug. As they were pressed up to each other, small ran down his spine feeling her frozen heat rise from her marble skin. Though, these chills felt nice, making him want to get closer to her, but he knew better than that. For god's sake; he had just reunited with her just minutes ago! It was like fire and ice being melted into each other; nothing had ever felt so natural. His body relaxed as she rested her head on the base of his chest, seeming quite pleased to be cuddled into his arms. This pleased Jake, but so didn't being in her very own presence. The only thing that even kept the werewolf and the new born vampire apart was that stupid leech who seemed to be messing everything up. Even now; he and his family are trying to decide if he is a murderer or not. How could he put Bella through this? Edward was trouble. Jacob may encourage Bella to jump off cliffs for fun and ride motorcycles until she crashes, but that was nothing compared to what mental torture that single Cullen has done to this girl. And Jacob Black could not stand it when he thought about it. He was getting himself worked up as his mind drifted to pondering about it, even as the girl he loved so much and cared for with all his life was protected by his arms. There was one thing he was quite glad of though... Alice couldn't see whatever happened between him and Bella this moment because of him being a werewolf blocking her future seeing visions. Not that Jake expected anything to happen... he had painfully learned his lesson many times (constantly, in fact) that he could never have Bella as his own. At times she would be just Edwards and then sometimes she would be Edwards and Jacobs.

Jake could almost hear her soft pink lips tug up into a smile when he teased her, like they normally did. That was one thing that leech could ever give her. He really had no sense of humor. If Edward had been there right then, he probably would of scolded Jake for saying such a thing, worried it might hurt Bella's feelings. He never would understand. The black haired boy couldn't help, but to let a sly smile dance upon his lips as his face lit up, despite the way he currently looked. "Well, if it helps a little bit... from a very far distance you don't smell as bad," his smile could be heard through his truthful comment. His face suddenly fell serious a voice echoing in the back of his mind to remind her how much he cared about her. How much her yearned for her to be only his; how he would do anything to steal her away. "You know, I don't hate you," he whispered softly, picturing the way she looked just a for moments ago. He just wanted to confirm it for her so she didn't need to stress over it at all. She had enough to worry about for a few years. "I don't care how you smell to me or what you are either, so don't worry about it," he murmured softly to her, half closing his eyes in a calm, laid back manner. "You'll always be my Bells," he stated, tightening the hug only for a second to get the message clearly across that he cared about her no matter what. Jake new that Bella had known him long enough to understand what he was trying to imply. Jacob was usually bold and did things very up front, but now wasn't one of those kinds of times. This beautiful vampire needed comfort, he knew this without having to look very hard. She had the same facial expressions she had come to Jacob to use him when Edward had left her. Unfortunately, today could be repeating history. Maybe she was using him to get her mind of Edward and was running back to him to only get a grip on her life again before she pranced back to the bloodsucker's arms. But frankly, Jacob didn't give a damn. He would allow himself to be tricked into that game as many times possible because when he went along with it, he was allowed to love Bella.

The calm man's face twisted into a rare feeling of regret and sorrow. He was glad Bella couldn't see it while she was pulled into his second hug, but he was almost sure that he could sense it without having to see it. "Just for everything... for letting those vampires take you... for not being able to find you and stop them from changing you," he started saying, pulling away from her. Jake kept his warm, large hands on each side of her arms, "For making you confused all the time," his hand gently skimmed her arm, not noticing that fresh bite marks yet, since he was focusing on her pale, beautiful face. Jacob was sure he was making her feel confused now and he was selfish. He would play her into his hands if that's what it took for make her realize that she loved him more than Edward. This werewolf didn't enjoy beating around and did, honestly, take advantage of Bella sometimes. Well... every moment that he could really. As they both stood here now, Jacob could only be grateful that she would even talk to him. He had screwed up... and that's exactly why he was apologizing. It made him wonder if Edward had apologized to her yet, or if he was too caught up in trying to figure out if he was a murderer or not. Jake wondered if the leech could even see like he did how stressed Bella was. Of course, it might hurt Bella if Edward was neglecting her in such a way, but Jacob liked the thought of those theories. It gave him more of a chance to have her.

NOTES Psh, yeah! I want to huggle them, they're so cute <3
WORDS 1519.
TAGGED Jessi
TUNES Nothing /:

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[ISABELLA SWAN]

WHERE WERE YOU THAT DAY ?
when i laid my heart in your hands

Bella didn't really know what she was supposed to feel anymore, she wasn't the same person anymore in a way. She knew this had been what she'd wanted, to be a vampire and spend her life with Edward... spend eternity with the man that she loved and never have to give him up to old age like the nightmare she'd had the night before her birthday. Seeing herself as an old woman, the spitting image of her gram which had scared the crap out of her about growing older. Then all that horrible stuff happened, she'd gotten presents when she'd told them not to get her anything! Alright, so that wasn't the worse thing that'd happened that day but it was still a bad thing, she hated having them make a big deal out of her birthday; at least that wasn't something she had to celebrate anymore. But the way she was turned, that's what really pissed her off and depressed her at the same time. She'd wanted something beautiful, a way to remember that final moment of the horrible pain as the best moment of her life other then the day she met Edward. But it'd forever be a horrible experience she'd probably never remember anything about but the pain and her own screams of horror. The only evidence she had other then those flashes of pain when she thought about it, was the new scars on her side and arm. She'd never be the creature she'd wanted to become when she was changed, she'd never be able to say 'i was willing' when other vampires or special creatures asked. That'd been what she wanted, to be able to say that she chose this life for herself rather then having it thrust upon her. But no, her innocent life had been taken from her and she'd had this forced on her before it was time to become what the man she loved and his family were. Sure, the Cullen family still loved her and she was grateful for that; but she'd never feel the same again. She wasn't human but she didn't feel like some perfect god she always and would always make her coven out to be. She was still klutzy Bella who just happened to look somewhat different and be faster as well as stronger; big differences to other people but to her it didn't matter. She felt like a creature of nightmare thanks to the way she was created, not a god; even if the others hadn't chosen this life for themselves... she still felt so different from them in so many ways and hardly any of them she could name.

She was probably just being silly... that had to be it. She had a human family that loved her, as well as her coven as she'd called them now; they all loved her. And from what she'd heard, they'd all gone looking for her when she disappeared. She felt bad for Alice being blind to it all, she knew her future sister-in-law hated being blind to the future at all costs. It'd have to be some weird vampire ability to have blocked Alice out, either that or the vampires that changed her had a werewolf around the entire time. But she didn't figure that was possible, vampires and werewolves hardly ever got along for any reason and so the culprits working with some was unlikely. The only thing she could think of, was the vampire having an ability to block Alice and perhaps the memory loss was an ability of another vampire? Even with everything Bella had ever seen, it all seemed so out there and unbelievable; which scared her. She knew she shouldn't feel scared anymore, just look at what she was! But she was still so afraid inside, so glad no one could read her thoughts but yet they were so obvious all over her expression and she knew it to be true. Even without reading her mind she was so... predictable and readable in so many ways, so many so that it annoyed her and she was trying to change it. She wanted to be this strong vampire she'd tried envisioning herself to be.. but the way she was changed and looking at herself now, she didn't feel strong in a way that she should. Hell, she'd almost tripped twice coming down here alone; so how much had she really changed. She could still see that same silly girl in the mirror, even with a few... upgrades if you want to call them that. Looking at Jacob now she could tell he'd been busy, had he been out in the wilderness that entire time? Out in the world looking for her? She'd caused such a big stir, had he gone after her as well with no prevail? Apparently so, making her feel worse inside then she had before. Sure, she'd been kidnapped and taken away from those she loved; all against her will. But yet she still felt bad, for creating so much worry and panic over her. She was nothing special, why did it matter all that much?

'Stupid Bella, don't think that...' her inner voice had to scold her for thinking so little of herself. But she couldn't help it, she'd never seen her as this important person they all apparently loved so much. They'd worried so much when she'd disappeared and that was only about a week ago... did she really matter that highly to them? To Charlie of course, he's her father and loved her all her life. But to the Cullen family and to Jake... she didn't think she'd be that high on their priorities, obviously she was underestimating how they felt thanks to the fact she thought so little of herself all the time. Back when Edward used to talk about having himself killed if she'd herself died... she'd told him she wasn't even worth that, that he should keep living even if she was gone. "Yeah, cause that helps so much." she laughed softly at his first comment, loving his sense of humor more then plenty of other people's. Sure Edward and the others could joke about things, perhaps now that she wasn't so fragile she'd be let in on their games; but before all of that Jake had been the first to really make her laugh and laugh hard. Specially during the time Edward had left her, when she was so down in the dumps she didn't want to leave her room. "Thank you Jake... for saying that, you don't know how good I feel to hear you say that." and it was true, she felt pretty damn good knowing he wouldn't hate her no matter what she was. She didn't feel she had to worry about him hating her anymore, but she'd always wondered why he cared and loved her so much that he'd basically let her do what ever she wished and he'd just deal with it. "Just wait until after you see me sparkle and see if I'm still your Bells." she chuckled for a moment. Sure, she'd loved seeing Edward that way but she felt so weird when her skin began to act like it was laid with millions of tiny diamonds and cast rainbows everywhere. It was just strange to see herself like that, course so far she'd only tested it out a couple times; high on the mountains and out of the cloud banks by herself.

When he started to put some of the blame on himself, as if it was her fault she wasn't found; she snarled lightly with her new vampire snarl; as if to tell him right then and there to stop talking like that. It sounded weird coming from her, more like a slightly mean purr the way she was trying to do it gentle enough; but in it's own way the noise had a dominant trait to it as she pulled him down to sit with her on the log so she was at least more level with him, putting her legs into his lap so they were as close as possible. She was always comfortable being close to him and now she didn't have to worry about her racing heart giving away how much she liked it, or the blushing. The blushing she certainly wouldn't miss, even if others did. "Jacob Black, don't talk like that. You didn't let them take me, and no one could find me. Sure I woke up alone and changed but it wasn't your fault or anyone else's but the bloodsucking assholes that did this to me." she was growing angry, not so much at him but at the thought of who ever had changed her. She knew she'd kill them herself if she got the chance, but at the moment her hands went to Jacob's face and cupped against it to stare into his vibrant eyes. "The good thing is I'm home and not dead alright? I want to try and move past this and you blaming yourself won't help any." she told him, trying to convince herself as well as him that she was trying to move on. But she couldn't help think back to those flashes of pain she could remember and cringe. Sighing softly she leaned up, tilting his head down some and kissed his warm forehead, what she wouldn't give for a real kiss in that moment; but soon she was scolding herself for thinking such things. Her and Edward were still together, still supposed to get married sometime in the future when all this was behind them. 'Damn you Bella and you're confusing emotions.' the voice inside her head said with a light angry snap to it. "And as for the confusing part of it all, that's not your fault either. It's my own, I put myself into these situations Jacob." In her own way she loved Jacob, he'd been there for her when she needed it and she knew very well how he felt about her; but she'd always felt she loved Edward more. Even now she was so worried about what the future would hold, begging any god in heaven that he was innocent and something other then killing a human, or humans, had taken place. She shook the thoughts from her head, thinking about them just made her feel so much more worse every time they entered her head. Pulling herself in closer to Jacob, curling her arms around his waist and burying her face into his neck as she risked it and took an inhale of breath. Ew, ew, ew; the way he smelt to her vampire senses right off the bat made her glad she didn't need to breathe. But burying her face further into his neck she caught onto that pine scent and relaxed a bit more into him.

---

WORDCOUNT// -hides.- 2 0 4 3 hehe.
RESERVEDOROPEN// for jake. <3
BRAINJUICE// i don't want to miss a thing, aerosmith =)
NOTEPAD// OKAY, awe at the end right? XD
idk if i'll get this length again, but she had a lot of
details and thoughts to share before i slept. xD

[JACOB BLACK]

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I DONT WANNA BE THE FOOL
T H A T G E T S L E F T B E H I N D I N T H E D U S T
_________________________________________________

The brunette haired girl was silent for a moment, probably having thought after thought pop into her confused mind. Jacob on the other hand found himself simply staring at her, making sure that she wasn’t going to leave his sight once more. If Bella had thought that he was ever protective over he before, then he was about to define a whole different definition for protection. Even if Bella was a strong, immortal vampire, it meant absolutely nothing to him in his mind when it came down to wanting her to be safe. The black haired boy knew that the Cullen bloodsucker probably would agree with him on this; Bella didn’t need any more damage done to her. He could imagine what must have happened and it sickened him, making him want to let his temper loose and just explode. Whatever sick vampires did this to her, he would kill them. He would rip them into a million pieces and burn them all to hell. Then, maybe then, Bella would be able to feel a little safer and more relaxed about everything. Jacob was willing to do anything to help her, as he has proven many times over and over. The tall man couldn’t help but to remind himself that it didn’t matter to Bella how many times he proved himself worthy to have her as his own because her heart was truly stuck on Edward Cullen. Though, now, her heart was no longer beating. It was still and silent inside her chest, sitting there alone, no longer pressing it’s self to keep Bella alive. It was possible that he had a chance with her; he just had to meet this chance happen before the wedding took place. That was another massive issue that had bugging his brain since before Bella was kidnapped. How could he live with himself he lets his Bells, the one he loves so much, make the biggest mistake of her life? Marrying that over protective, dangerous blood sucking animal wouldn’t be healthy at all for her. He would probably end up killing her one day when he hadn’t fed enough and had a strong blood thirst. If Bella had chosen him that length of time ago, when he gave her that first kiss and it had made her realize that Jacob was the right choice… none of this would of happened. None of this insane drama that was occurring nor past events that had put everyone into a river of drowning misery would have happened if she had picked the natural path to take.

When Bella laughed at his comment it was like bells chiming inside his eardrums. Jake almost sighed in pleasure at the breath taking sound, one that he had missed over the course of time. Yes, it had only been a week, but it seemed as if she had been taken from him forever. Probably because that’s all his thoughts screamed at him the entire time she was gone. How much he hated himself for ever thinking that Isabella Swan wouldn’t make it through another disaster. If anyone could do it, even if she fell down repeatedly, it was her. Taking in another deep gulp of oxygen, holding her retched scent he listened at her next comment and found himself scowling slightly. The picture on his mind that appeared was definitely something he was not looking forward to seeing. The overcast of the gray, think skies was blocking the rays of the sun from reaching Bella so that she didn’t sparkle against the light. He was, at least, thankful for that much of today. Jacob knew that even if she did shine in that freaky vampire way, he still wouldn’t be able to help himself from falling head over heels for her. “Even then you’ll be my very freaky Bells,” he confirmed, still smiling, even in his doubt of mind. As he said that though, part of him knew that it was him being completely honest. It was confusing to him, how he was able to accept what the Swan girl was even though he was born to kill her kind. Jake shuddered at the thought of digging his wolf fangs into her icy, solid rock-like skin in order to protect the citizens of La Push and Forks. He hadn’t thought about that at all lately; instead he was vividly finding himself avoiding that topic and keeping it as far away from his mind as much as possible. What if Bella attacked and killed a La Push human? Jake shook his head at the thought, trying to escape it, but it kept pulling back into his thoughts. He couldn’t bring himself to hurt Bells and he would fight until his death if Sam tried to lay a single finger on her. Christ, Jacob had no idea what he was going to do if that ever happened. Jake needed to stop silently wondering about that. Edward had assured him over the phone that Bella had incredible control for a new born and had been able to resist humans when she had been first changed in the alley. Still, vampires were unpredictable. Jake was just worried was all.

Jacob’s mind was cut off as he felt Bella’s hands fall upon him and push him down back on to the log where he had sat before jumping up and giving her a massive hug. The snarl that escaped her lips made his heart begin to race. It was a dominant growl, making him realize that he needed to listen to her and it showed her displeasure of his words. Yet, Jake couldn’t help but to feel himself struggling to contain himself from leaning in and connecting his lips to her own. Just as these feelings started to increase, Bella helped by swinging his legs up on his own and seemed quite relaxed with her actions. Jacob felt his lungs tighten and his pulse speeding up as she began to speak in a stern tone. Oh god. She’ll kill him if she keeps this up. Didn’t she see what she was doing to him? How much she was forcing his heart to race and for his breath to become shallow, as if he needed to start gasping for air. The sight of her thin, white, perfect legs on top of him was enough to make his mind go wildly insane. “I know,” he finally managed to say to her commanding tone that made his skin perk with excitement. As she mentioned he not being dead it made him frown lightly as the image of her limp body being found in the dark alley way as screams erupted from by standers as they her covered in blood. Jacob let a low growl rumble from the bottom of his throat, but quickly stopped it from getting any louder. He really didn’t want Bella to hit him or glare at him for getting upset over the comment. “Whatever you say,” he sighed as he flicked his optics away from her face to keep himself from showing how much he disagreed with that. He made himself pay attention to what she next so that he wouldn’t dampen the mood. He figured he was here to cheer Bella up, not make everything worse. Besides, that’s what Jake was for. To let Bella share her feelings, to be there to support her, and to allow her let her guard down. The werewolf shrugged, “You’re right, Bella. If you were dead, I don’t know what I would do,” he met her topaz eyes with his own chocolate brown ones, “but just to warn you… the second I find out who did this to, and I will, I’m going to send those bastards to hell.” He said in dead serious voice, as if his was dependant on it. Jake had thought about this earlier and was simply repeating those thoughts out loud He could already feel those bastards clenched between his massive canine teeth as he slowly tortured them, carefully ripping them limb from limb. Jacob shivered at the new excitement he felt; revenge tasted so sweet on his tongue.

The warm sea breeze came over him as Bella leaned in and placed a gentle, sweet, innocent kiss on his forehead. Jacob shut his eyes, so that he would be able to enjoy that moment that much better. Her cold, hard lips felt nice against his rough over heated skin that was currently burning up past a degree that would normally kill a human from the contact of Bella’s lips. Why? Why couldn’t she pick him? Why must he torture him so much with her teasing ways that she didn’t even know she was doing? Jacob released, yet another, sigh in attempt not to lift her face up slightly more to match his lips to her own. Even the feeling of her frozen hand up against his face made Jacob want to lose it completely. He loved the way her hand perfectly caressed his face, lightly brushing over his cheek. He smirked when she blamed herself for being stuck between him and Edward; at least she admitted that he was right. It used to be that she was in denial that she also loved Jake and it wasn’t until he had finally proven to her mind and emotions that she did, indeed, love him as well. “I still blame the bloodsu—“ he cut himself off, not wanting to offend Bella, that now she was one and replaced his mistake with, “Edward. He’s the only thing in my way, you know,” he muttered, opening his eyes when she pulled her lips away from his forehead. Jacob placed his arms around her waist as she buried her head into his neck, seeking his support. The black haired man ran his hand through her smooth strands of hair with affection, knowing that’s what she needed right now. “It’ll all work out, Bells. You’ve survived everything before this, you're unbeatable. This no different,” he paused, “and you’re not in this alone either. I’ll always be here for you,” he added on, continuing on running his hot fingers through her hair. Jake listened for her heart beat, but his heart was the only one beating rapidly. That was one of the top things he would miss about Bella being human… his heart would always be lonely. He couldn’t even see her blush that light crimson color as he held the way he did now. Feeling his throat tighten he whispered, “I still love you.” It was something he had said to his Bells many times before this moment, but it just felt like Jacob had to keep reminding her how much passion and effect the vampire had on him.

The muscular man took one hand and set it gently on top of Bella’s leg, skimming his optics down them. One arm was still caressed around her hips as he took in every second of this moment. It wasn’t long before he found his fingers tracing small circles on top of her flesh without even noticing it. It was like instinct to touch her lightly and with so much love. He would do anything in the world to stop time and relive this moment forever. Hell, he would be happy if this moment lasted another few minutes. Jacob halted his hand, not wanting to make her uncomfortable but it was technically her fault for putting her legs into his lap. How did she expect him to react? Well, since it was Bella she probably hadn’t thought about it. Jake let the moment saunter on for only a few more moments, letting his wishes come true to let this last a little longer. It wasn’t long before all his emotions were beginning to pile up too far on him. Taking the hand that had been on Bella’s leg he placed it on her cheek to lift her head up toward his. “Bella…” he trailed off, his eyes in obvious agony. Just kiss her, dam it! His inner voice screamed at him, but… he couldn’t do that to her. It was obvious what he wanted by the way he practically moaned her name in an unsure painful, lustful way.

God, her lips looked so damn good.

NOTES heh, i love this post.
i managed to meet your word count too! i was
worried i couldn't. haha. poor jake. damn bella;
torturing my jake-y so much x3
WORDS 2048.
TAGGED Jessi
TUNES Wake Up Call - Hawthorne Heights

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[ISABELLA SWAN]

WHERE WERE YOU THAT DAY ?
when i laid my heart in your hands

Bella felt like she didn't know anything anymore and that was one of the most scary and confusing thoughts of them all. But the heart beat; that wasn't just something that stopped because of the change, those things she'd readied herself to lose and never have again weren't just melted away with the pain of transformation. They were stolen by those bastards that did this to her, if it'd been Edward who had changed her like she wanted then she'd be alright with not having them because she'd willingly given them up for love. She hadn't become what she was by willingness and sacrifice, she hadn't done the things she wanted to do with her last human moments; she'd been stripped of it all and she wanted to rip the face of the persons responsible for her change. If she ever got her hands on the ones involved; neither Jake nor Edward nor any of the others vowing to destroy them would have a chance. Bella would be at their throats in an instant because they stole something she'd treasured in her own was and would never ever get. It wasn't the fact she was no longer human, it was the fact she didn't get to enter into eternity different then the way her coven had and it was also the fact there was still some last human moments she'd wanted before the change that she'd never have now. It was all ruined and the fault lay in the hands of vampires she couldn't remember anything about.

But lately she was so overly confused, ever since she'd gotten back she'd felt so strange and so much more conflicted then she had been when she left. Having Edward being the main suspect in the murders scared her so much she couldn't think straight and she wanted to throw up, but throwing up wasn't possible since nothing in side her body worked anymore but that feeling was still there and she hated it. She thought when she was finally a vampire that these feeling would go away but now, they just seemed to intensify. Carlisle had told her it's possible to have memory feelings, since she was still new and the way she'd described a few other things to him; it was just memories of feelings she'd had when she was human not that long ago and eventually her body would grow accustomed to the fact it wasn't human and so many actions it'd been able to do with her being human, it's no longer achieve now. Like the crying, that was the worst; all her body did was heave basically and it sucked. "You're so sweet." she laughed at Jake's comment about her being 'freaky Bells' and smiled at him, thankful for the comment really. Around him right now she could seem to relax herself for more moments then standing in that house had done for her. Was it bad for her to feel more safe and in control around Jake, he was her best friend who happened to be in love with her and she felt more comfortable around him right now then she did in the Cullen home. No offense to them, really, she loved them to death but all her emotions were just running wild yet around Jake they gave her a few moments of separated peace until another thought stirred in her head and they ran wild around inside her again. Though these were the moments Jasper's ability came in hand so that was a plus side about sitting around in that house.

She'd never forgive herself if she hurt a human, specially one of the La Push or Forks gang because a lot of those people meant so much to her. And destroying one of them would mean her own destruction whether it was at a wolf's paws or her own guilt ridden nature. She was glad to see the noise she'd made had an effect on him, though by the looks of it; it hadn't quite been the effect she'd intended on having and she inwardly chuckled to herself, shifting herself a little and throwing her hair back as it was tickling the skin of her shoulders and distracting her. "Jacob, please... please don't blame yourself. I don't want any of you guys blaming yourselves." she spoke in a near pleading voice, if she could cry she probably would've in that moment but instead her face just fell and her eyes stayed unwatered so the expression wasn't perfect but it worked. "If I was dead... you'd go on living your life, be happy. That's all I ask because I'm not worth anything else." she sighed to herself, she'd always felt so much less in life then the people around her. She always felt weak and imperfect and she knew that she was, or at least... she'd always believe herself imperfect and unworthy of the love and support those around her showed her. "You won't have the chance Jake, I'm gonna rip them to bits myself." she snarled lightly at the thought of them, but then again her snarls at the moment were dominant for sure but so much less threatening then she was going for. More... purr of anger if she really wanted to put a description to it.

Bella had always been conflicted, ever since the first moment she realized she liked Jake as more then a friend and it was just still so confusing for her no matter how much she'd tell anyone it wasn't. She knew her heart had thudded in her ears for both boys at different times in her human life. She'd once even told herself, back when Edward had left her, that Jake was filling that hole inside her. That if anything, she could be content with him if Edward never planned on coming back. Because there was a connection between her and Jake, he was her best friend in the entire world and she cared deeply for him. If her and Edward had never gotten back together back then, she'd been hurt and pained inside for sure; but she'd probably be with Jake because that's what her mind had set it's thoughts to at the idea that she may never see her perfect Edward anymore. But that wasn't the case now, now she had Edward and her heart had beat so strongly for him in her human moments... he was constantly on her mind and she felt that pull. She felt bad and guilt ridden though, because she could tell how badly Jake had wanted Edward gone and for Bella to be with him. There was a part of her that would always want Jake, but there was so much more inside wanting Edward... so why did she feel so conflicted again? "You can say bloodsucker Jake, it kinda feels more normal." she laughed after that true statement. Even if she was a vampire now too, hearing those words from his lips made her feel more normal and down to Earth. Changing them now just made things so much more real. "That's a pretty big obstacle." she tried making a joke from what he'd said but her insides racked with guilt for a moment for even saying that, sighing softly to herself as she bit lightly on her bottom lip.

"I may survive... but I don't get to say I was willing anymore Jake. My life wasn't given up like I'd planned, it was stolen from me. And I'm tired of there always being something bad happening around me. I'm so accident and horrible event prone. " she ranted for a moment, letting the last words leave her mouth as she relaxed into him a little more and tried to clear her thought so she wouldn't keep upsetting her self and she didn't want to upset Jake with her words just then. "My Jake..." she murred softly in response when he'd told her he'd always be there for her. It made her feel so good to hear that, yet kind of bad in a way. She knew he wanted her for himself and probably always were and the way she acted sometimes probably didn't help matters any; she couldn't give Jake what he wanted because Edward had it more so then she'd ever thought possible, no matter how much she cared about Jake and hated seeing him alone and pining. When that word left his lips a smile pulled itself onto her own as she sighed softly, lightly running her fingers along his back in small circles. "Jake... you know that I'll always love you." that wasn't a lie, they both knew it. She'd always love him but she was with Edward no matter what Jake thought of him, and while maybe telling Jake she did in fact love him was a bad idea... she could never lie to him; it'd just made her feel worse and yet she knew in her saying it gave him hope and that was probably more worse then not saying it at all. The touching wasn't making her uncomfortable, it was relaxing her and causing a light purr to leave her throat without even registering to herself that it had; she hadn't even noticed that fact that she was enjoying it a little too much. Her thoughts were starting to scold her but she ignored them, these moments with Jake were something she was letting herself have; it was a distraction from everything else and she was grateful for it. She didn't feel like she was using him, more like letting them both have something in that moment they both wanted.

Her name from his lips just seemed to add to the effect his hand had had on her, his hand on her cheek and as she looked up at him she offered her own little weak smile as she watched the look on his face. Jake was always easy to read and this time was no different. There was a part of her saying go for it, you know you want to. But there was a bigger part screaming at her that it was wrong in every way possible because she was still engaged to the man she loved and had given up all normalcy for. "Jake... I..." the stronger, guilty for thinking it, part in her was trying to win. It was trying to keep her hand from moving to his cheek and running against it. But it lost that battle as her cold hand ran along his burning cheek. That stronger, still so guilty, part inside her was trying to win out over the small weak part that was begging her to give in just this once. When her lips connected with his, that strong and guilty part started to scream at her to stop because it was so wrong in so many ways and yet that weak part was cheering because for once; weak had won. Kissing him was a fantastical feeling, sadly not at the level kissing Edward had been for her when she was at human; but it was still such high levels of fantastic that she could barely explain it to herself as her hand slipped into his hair to the back of his head, pulling him in closer to her. She was yelling at herself on the inside, but that conflicted and weak part had won this round and had claimed it's prize. What could anyone expect, she was a panicking and confused young woman giving into a small desire that made her feel better. Bella you're so going to regret this later. her thoughts told her, but in that moment she didn't care.

---

WORDCOUNT// 2202
RESERVEDOROPEN// for jake. <3
BRAINJUICE// send it on, disney's friends for change
NOTEPAD//
okay, so don't kill me. bella just had to.
she did it all on her own, not my idea; lol.
that weak little part of her won out. xD
and you don't HAVE to meet the WC xP
im betting jake is enjoying the moment. hehe.

[JACOB BLACK]

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I DONT WANNA BE THE FOOL
T H A T G E T S L E F T B E H I N D I N T H E D U S T
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The boy could remember the weeks of agony he felt during the time he was changing into the werewolf. He knew the sense of feeling of not having the fair choice of picking if he wanted to become a mythical creature or not. But like many elders off from the reservation and his family, mostly Billy his father, had told him; life isn't fair. Then after came that hackneyed statement was' make the most out of what you have. Which, at the time seemed nearly impossible to do. It had all started out with Sam giving him strange looks and slowly Sam had gathered more of Jake's friends, one by one. It was difficult to understand why, since non of them would speak to Jacob until he joined himself. No only was it frustrating, but also scary. When he and Embry were the only two that were left without following behind Sam's feet, they both had went into a panic. They agreed not to get sucked into the trap, but Jake found himself watching as Embry acted like a puppy, doing every command Sam gave him. He knew Bella offend thought as him as emotional support and during this rough time in his life, it was vise versa in his mind. Jacob was able to share his feelings about being terrified why his friend's were always huddled around that strange man who acted as if he owned the lands. He was even able to find comfort in Bella's words, assuring him that is was odd, but they were still his friends and at one point everything would work out. Honestly, he never told Bella how much that helped him since Jake had simply discovered himself being part of the group soon and had no time to ever give her a proper thank you. It had only been about week after sharing with Bella about the way his friends acted that he became extremely ill. Billy had him under house arrest, which meant in his bed with all the windows opened at all time and a cool washcloths covering his body in attempt to keep his temperature from rising anymore than it needed to. When the first three days of illness started to subside slightly, his handicapped father explained to him what was happening. Of course, Jacob thought the man was crazy and didn't dare believe it, even for a second. There was no way he was going to be told that he was turning into a giant wolf that ran around killing vampires. It just wasn't real. It was impossible.

Though, he admitted that it did make sense that Sam could be the pack leader and then it would explain why his friend's went sick for two weeks and then suddenly denied any kind of conversation with him to protect their secret. It took awhile for Jake to really know what he had become. and accepted it... with a little proof of course. At one point Billy had just pissed him off so bad by doing something just a little irritating that the tap boy went very insane and before he could control his tremblings hands and building emotions, his body transformed into, the once mythical now real, werewolf or shape-shifter. Jacob slightly smiled at the memory because no matter how unfair and miserable he was after the transformation he would never forget the first time he felt the strength in his wolf jaws, arms, and legs. The first time he patrolled around La Push, striving through the forest with the wind zipping across his fur as if it were trying to hold him back, but he was too strong. He could push through anything. His thick russet coat that bended so easily with the woods and his paws pounding against the soft Earth's carpet. Those were the only moments he wish he remembered about his werewolf past. He wouldn't mind forgetting the painful parts that involve leaving Sam's pack or the memories of having to neglect Bella to keep her away from him. He had thought he had become a monster and wanted to her to stay away, especially since he was so upset all the time he couldn't help trembling and changing when he hadn't even meant to. The last thing Jacob ever wanted to do was shift into a werewolf right in front of her and accidentally hurting her. Though, as time went on, Bella had dragged him right back into her hands... well actually... that's a lie. Jacob drove her so insane until she finally figured out what he was that she finally found him on the beach and told him she knew and didn't care.

Now, here they were, sitting on the same beach, laughing and growling with each other. Looking back at all the trouble they've been through together... it's quite something out of this world. It went from Jake being a werewolf, to a vampire war, to a love triangle (which still seems to be repeating), to Bella being depressed when her bloodsucker left her and came to Jake for support and love, to watching Bella chase after Edward when he tried killing himself, to breaking up with Sam's pack, and now to Bella turning into a vampire herself. Jacob almost thought these cycles of tragedies would never end. A light, cocky smile danced like wild flames across Jake's pale pink lips as she told him he was sweet. Shrugging playfully he said, "Yeah, yeah, I know." He couldn't help, but to allow his grin grow noticeably bigger when Bella let out a laugh. He was glad to be making her laugh like that, making her feel amused with his assuring teasing. The thing that scared him most was his Bells falling back down in the depths of the same depression that hadn't occurred long ago with the Cullen's disappearance. Jake may of fallen madly in love with her during that time frame and now his life seems to be dependent on that love for her, and only her, but that also meant he was constantly worrying about Bella. It wasn't like the werewolf showed how much he worried over her as much as that over protective leech did. Jake knew that Edward had Bella pretty much on lock down every time she was with him, maybe even as a vampire he kept her on a tight leash for all Jake knew, but at least he had always understood what Bella needed at what times. And when she was depressed out of her mind and going crazy, she needed him. Why would Jacob worry over that? Well, what if she choose Edward? How could Jake keep her from falling when he was too far away to catch her? His worries vanished though as she noted her muscles relax more in her body seemed to just overly calm itself. It gave Jake a warm feeling, seeing how comfortable she could be around him... though... he's known this ever since Bella came to La Push with her friends near the first few weeks of her moving here. She definitely wasn't as open and nothing had really happened, meaning she had no clue that Edward was a vampire and Jake had still been his old human self, but even then she hadn't been stiff. In fact, Jacob recalls her flirting with him to get answers about his tribe's legends on 'the cold ones'. Psh, how naive he had been. Falling right into her claws like that. Now look where that one innocent, flirt led too.

Jacob was once again brought of the memories that flashed in front of his eyes as Bella gave an inward chuckle and flipped her hair. The scent of her hair blew straight into his face when the breeze picked up the smell and it made the teenage werewolf wrinkle his nose. Hopefully, he would get used to her new fragrance, but until then, he would just try to hold his breath as much as possible or try to breath only through his mouth. Lucky for Bella, he knew she was holding her breath so she didn't have to take in his scent. He gazed into her breath taking topaz optics as her face fell into an expression of pleading and sorrow. Jake easily looked down at her legs, trying not to concentrate on her face as she used her 'please-just-don't' tone of voice. How could he not blame himself? Like he mentioned earlier, he might of been able to stop whoever kidnapped and turned Bella. "Maybe over time I will stop blaming myself, but that's all I can say right now. At least I'm being honest," which was true. That was one quality you could count on Jacob Black for. The only time he ever lied was when he didn't feel like fighting or was too tired to even care what he was saying. Besides that, he was bold and said things the way he saw them or the way that they simply are. Though the next set of words really threw him off for a moment. How, even for a second, could she think that? Jake knew this was Bella and she did tend to thrash down on herself sometimes, but to him, it was frustrating because all he's ever done since he saw her was to make her understand that she wasn't just another human. She was his world. Making the anger obvious on his face Jacob replied, "So, you're telling to tell me that if you died, I should just be happy and get over it? Is that what you would do if I died?" he asked, finding himself surprised by his own words. He had expected his mouth to just start running about how important she was to him, but Jake knew that she must already know that. It undeniable how he felt about her and everyone could see it, even by now Bella could. "Well, at least let me rip off the fingers or toes? I don't want to have stayed up for a week for nothing," he stated referring to those non sleepless nights that he and his pack ran, in search for the Swan girl. He pointed to the bags under his eyes with a slight grin, trying to get the point across that if they ever did find those bastards, that she would allow him to do something... anything.

The La Push man rested his arms on top of her legs as she seemed to thinking during the short pause between the two of them. Even when things went silent between them and they both left each other only for a few mere seconds or minutes, it never grew awkward. There always seemed to be something to chat about, argue about, joke about, and even laugh about. That was the nice thing about their relationship and Jake was sure Bella enjoyed the company just as much as he did, if not, a little less. The silence was broken as she mentioned that he should be still trying to act normal. Jacob sighed, "Yeah, okay, more normal," he said sarcastically, but tried covering it up realizing how rude he sounded. Sometimes, Jake tended to do that on accident, it was like a bad gene from werewolves... everyone else in the pack, except for Seth, did it as well. "If that's what you want, then that's what I'll do," he paused for a moment letting a devilish smile slip across his face, "bloodsucker." Jake shrugged at her comment about Edward being a pretty big obsticle, which was true. It was too true, unfortunately. If that leech hadn't gone suicidal Bella would probably be at his house, sitting on the couch watching television together as she was slowly recovering from her loss, and she would still be human. Eventually she would be healed and Jake could sweep her up into his arms and everything would be perfect. Okay... maybe it wouldn't be exactly like that, but it would be something around there. Jake watched her lips move as she spoke. He had been around Bella so long and had paid such lose attention to everything she did, he caught sight of the nervous lip biting, acting like she wished she hadn't just said that... making Edward seem like a hurtle in her life. Jacob on the other hand didn't mind that idea at all. "I guess it is," he said forcing a fake smile to his lips for Bella, seeing that it was her attempt to make it into a joke. Though, it wasn't very funny, but he had put her in a somewhat awkward situation by saying Edward was the only thing in his way.

Jacob listened to her rant before answering, "Well, you do know that I didn't pick changing into a giant wolf, right? It's unfair I have to give up my human life to run around a nine foot dog trying to protect people I really don't know," he paused, "and I'm sorry that it didn't turn out how you planned to change, but I do understand how you feel." He picked one of his hands off her pale legs and brushed it back through his cropped black hair with ease. If there was one thing Jacob had really learned through out his life so far, it was how to deal with unfair matters in life. "And about being accident prone, that's just who you are," he said bluntly, but a kind glow was coming out of Jake's chocolate eyes as he stared back into her golden optics. There was a short break of words before Bella returned the ' i love you ' just like Jacob had expected. He could see how much she meant it and seeing this, made the tan man almost... relieved. It was almost as if Jake had to keep reminding himself that Bella loved him to keep him sane. He just had to hear it from her once in a great while to make sure that she would keep her word and love him forever. "That's all I needed to hear," he sighed, briefing shutting his eyes for a moment, engraving those words into his mind to keep in case anything happened. He refused to think what could happen to make him want to forget those words, but now they'll always be there.

It was only a minute after Jacob moaned her name that Bella responded by stuttering. Why am I doing this to her? I just can't control myself... he thought mentally, gazing into her eyes, watching them change from emotion to emotion. At last, Bella leaned in, confusion flicked in her eyes and for a second Jake thought she was going to stop, get up, and walk away remembering that she also loved the Cullen, but his doubts vanished as her cold, freezing lips pressed softly up to his hot ones. Jake's mind began to race wildly, cheering him on, as his body did as well. He could guess that the vampire that his lips were connected to was unsure about all of this, but it was his goal to convince that this was okay. That it was better then just okay. Jake leaned more into her, carefully moving his hands to her waist and feeling her curves, but dared not to go any farther. This was good enough for now, Jacob had never been so close to Bella like this before. He did feel as though he was taking advantage of her weak moment, but how could he help it? His blood was boiling directly beneath his flesh and his hands were slightly trembling from the excitement that was taking place with his emotions. Jake had waited for so long for a kiss like this from his Bella and now, it was finally happening. The werewolf pulled back only for a quick breath, as he still needed to breath unlike her, before leaning back in and more forcibly connected lips once again. Not able to help it, Jake let out the smallest of low moans in great pleasure of being able to feel her lips against his. As bad as he wanted to take it even farther, he decided that he needed to let Bella choose this. Jake was too intent on controlling his hormones and not doing something to mess this up. It shocked him how careful he was being with this moment, the old Jake from only a year or two ago would of had the brunette pinned to the ground by know, making what he could of the moment. Taking one hand, Jake slipped it around to her back and gave the lightly push on it to allow her to get closer to him.

NOTES Um... I can explain
why it's so long... Er... I...
Um... -runs away- XD
WORDS 3019.
TAGGED Jessi !
TUNES Until The Day I Die - Story of The Year

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[ISABELLA SWAN]

WHERE WERE YOU THAT DAY ?
when i laid my heart in your hands

When Edward left she'd retreated inside of herself, more so then she ever thought possible. She thought growing older was bad, but having lost Edward had nearly killed her inside. For weeks she didn't want to leave her room nor talk to any body. At school she walked around like a zombie, she'd barely eat anything because she never fault like she could. She was too sunk in, missing Edward with every fiber of her being and every inch of her heart and mind. Every inch of her felt hollow, but when Jake came and pretty much kidnapped her away from that mind set she had to admit she was grateful. For a while she'd found that if she put herself in danger, she'd hear Edward's voice again and for a moment each time; things would be alright. People thought she was going crazy, especially Jacob and he was trying his hardest to prevent her from further destruction of herself. Every moment she spent with him, she could feel herself becoming accustomed to spending her days with him. In her own way, she'd grown to love him little by little outside of loving him like the best friend he was trying to be for her. He'd promised he'd never hurt her the way Edward did and that hole in her wanted to believe it, it ached to be filled and she tried so hard to let it's wish come true. She'd told herself that if Edward was willing to leave her and she'd never see him again, she could be content being with Jacob. Sure it kind of seemed like using him in a way, just so she wasn't alone; but she generally cared about him so she figured it'd be alright. She could still remember the first time he ever kissed her and she'd pretty much broke her hand punching him in the jaw, course this was after she knew what he was. When the other boys on the reservation began migrating towards Sam, Jake had come to her with concerns. When he started ignoring her, he practically had to get angry with her for her to do the research and remember the story he'd told her that day on the beach. So that when she pieced it together, she could come to him and finally be let in to all the tribe's secrets because she'd gone and figured it out. It felt so good, because before she knew everything; she'd felt shut up and that in itself had nearly killed her again.

This beach held something important for them, every time they seemed to connect it seemed to be at this beach. Or at least, some of the more important moments between them had been. Jake had saved her from forever sinking inside herself and she was forever grateful to him and he would never know just how much; even if he thought he knew. "If you say 'I know' one more time, I'mma punch ya again." she snickered softly, teasing in a manner that reminded her of the good ol' days when everything seemed way more simple then it was today. She couldn't call anything simple any more, she was conflicted between two men for one thing and she'd thought she was over that back when the war was going on. She was determined to be with Edward because she felt so strongly pulled towards him, but there was still pull towards Jacob which just made her head swarm with a dizzy feeling she didn't think possible since the day James had sunk his teeth into her wrist. Alright, so that moment had been bad and the thing with the boys was just confusing; so it was a bad idea to compare the two of them. "I'm glad you're being honest, it's a good quality." she smiled some at him and she knew that was true. Even if she hated the fact he was blaming himself for this, at least he would try not to all that's all she could ask for if he generally wouldn't stop blaming himself. She didn't blame him in the least, the only blame she held within her was her own knack of getting snatched as well as the actual creatures that had snatched her up. She'd thought she'd have grown smarter then that after falling into James' trap at the studio, then again she could remember anything from the week or so of being kidnapped so she had no idea how she'd actually reacted or what had actually gone down during the snatching process. She just wished that at some point she'd remember more then the agonizing pain of the change, that was the only thing that had seemed to stick inside of her and made her cringe every time she thought about it. Even now it hurt her to remember that, quickly shifting her thoughts as Jake spot again.

"If I died, yeah I'd want you to move on because you deserve it. If you died I'd be heart broken and miss your terribly, but because you're worth missing." she cringed at the own fact she'd just pretty much said, once again, she wasn't worth all the trouble and she knew everyone hated when she thought and acted like that. But that was just how she felt, she didn't think herself worth all the trouble. She didn't think herself worth Jacob's love, let alone with Edward's or his family's love. She felt so worthless compared to them, she thought so highly of them and so much less of herself and she knew that was a bad thing but couldn't stop it. Ever since things started happening, she'd felt she was just causing problems for everyone and had no idea why they put up with her when it was just problem after problem. If she wasn't around, if she hadn't moved to Forks; Jacob could be happy right now and not pining over her like he seemed to be and it hurt her so much more then he knew to see him pine and hope that someday she'd change her mind. If she hadn't moved to Forks, she'd never have caused Edward and his family so much trouble and concern when it came to all the things that had happened to her since she moved back here. They'd be free, to go on with their lives like they should have been able to; not be tied down by some accident prone human who'd now gone and got herself kidnapped and attacked and changed. "Jake, you should have slept! Alright, a few fingers and toes but that's it." she used her scolding voice for the first part of that, smacking him lightly in the arm and laughing on the last part of the sentence. She knew that with all the thinking that seemed to be going on between them, silence was hardly awkward any more and she was quite happy for that.

Bella wanted nothing more then for things to just cool the hell down and go back to some form of normalcy to make her feel better. But so far the only reason she was feeling better, and slightly normal, was because she was around her best friend. She still jumped every time she heard a strange noise, which her ears picked up a lot more of that now with their higher sensitivity so she was jumping a lot. At the house she was jumping nearly every time someone walked in a door, jumped in through a window or even when the stairs crept under a foot step. She hated that she was feeling this way, but she was so scared that the vampires that attacked her would for some reason come back for one reason or another. "See, that's better; mutt... Okay, how about pup?" she was trying to figure out something fun and funny to call him now that she was what she was. Vampires were technically supposed to hate wolves and wolves were born to destroy vampires. But neither of them would ever be able to destroy the other; they'd destroy themselves before that thought ever crossed her mind. Now that she was what she was, should she bother calling him mutt like Rosalie did, but nicer? Or pup, in her own little cute tone and a perky little grin on her face as her eyes tipped up happily with her laugh. "I'll stick with pup, it's cuter." she snickered, coming to the choice that she'd affectionately call him pup from now on, when she didn't feel like calling him Jake. "Yeah, but there's still so many human qualities you've retained. You're not some blood sucking, avoiding sunlight, topaz eye creature." she pointed out, deciding to jump over any more talk of Edward being Jake's only obstacle of being with her. That was a dangerous comment to begin with, talking about it more would be bad. "It gives us all something in common really." she smiled, that little smile that seemed to get her anything she wanted and certain people to agree with her. But it was true, in a way they all had something in common with each other. Neither her, nor Jake, nor the Cullen family had chosen this for themselves but that was enough of that topic. Comparing him in anyway to a vampire made her non-working insides drop with guilt because she knew in truth he was nothing like a vampire.

"Yes well, being accident prone sucks." she huffed softly, glaring at him for a short moment before laughing at her own reaction with a small grin on her face yet again. "Jake... there's no reason I'll ever stop loving you, after everything you've ever done for me. You're worth loving." she didn't know if that was right to say, it made that guilt twitch inside of her but she wanted him to know. It made her feel better to tell him, even if in telling him in itself probably gave him hope when she had no clue if there was any; not being honest wasn't her thing. She'd felt the need to tell him and ran with it, the words were out of her mouth now so their was no going back on them. She felt her body shift slightly as he kissed her back, the feeling was absolutely wonderful in it's own way; separate from the light headed feeling she always got from kissing Edward. Thoughts of Edward came and went in the swirl of emotions, that weak part in side of her had won and currently there was no hope for that strong part of her. If you wanted to give a description to it, it was sitting in the corner pouting about it's loss as she kissed Jacob eagerly; thankful for the fact she had no need to breathe anymore. "Jake..." his name left her name in a moan like sound, pulling her body up against him as if it had a mind of its own; like when she'd pushed Edward into the wall moments after seeing him. But the thought of Edward was pushed into the corner with that strong part of her mind as he began kissing her again and she didn't find herself stopping it nor really wanting to stop it even if she knew she should. Her legs moved to either side of him as she pulled her body as close as it could get to his as her hands moved to grip slightly at his shoulders. Her hips had started to rock just a little bit against him, but those movements she noticed and restrained herself from; no matter if her body begged her not to force them to stop. Her mind, her body, her emotions and her hormones were all running around in different directs and she could barely keep track on any of them.

Her hips decided that fighting with her, at the moment, was not going to help any so they let her settle herself down into his lap has her hands moved down his arms to move them to wrap around her more. If anyone was inside her head now, they'd have to duck and jump and avoid every thing flying around inside her right now. The weak part, the one that always hid inside her with it's desire for Jake; was having a party and dancing all over the much larger and formerly stronger part of her that Edward held, which was still trying to win but failing and retreating back to it's corner. Part of her didn't feel like the old Bella, she wasn't the old Bella anymore. The old Bella was human and quite more accident prone then the Bella that was enjoying herself right now. Alright, so she was still very much Bella but was exploring something she probably shouldn't be but she couldn't stop herself and didn't want to stop herself. Kissing him and touching him and BEING touched by him just felt too damn good right now, his heated skin against her own cold marbled skin was intoxicating in it's own way that his heat was fueling that hidden desire she'd always held for him. She let her lips trail away from his, figuring with the need to for him to breathe to live it was probably a safe thing to do; moving her lips down his jaw line and his neck to kiss against it as her hips shifted their position a bit more against his lap. God have mercy on the soul who tried stopping them, even if it was her own guilt ridden voice inside her yelling at her to be smart and stop because of how wrong this was. But that weak part kept repeating how good it felt.

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WORDCOUNT// 2542
RESERVEDOROPEN// for jake. <3
BRAINJUICE// a thousand words, from final fantasy.
NOTEPAD//
alright, so bella is actually enjoying this. haha.
she's fighting with her hips so they won't rock. xD
how's that inner jake of yours doing? <3 lmao.

[JACOB BLACK]

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I DONT WANNA BE THE FOOL
T H A T G E T S L E F T B E H I N D I N T H E D U S T
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Jake shifted his weight slightly on the log, running his over heated finger's through his black, smooth hair once again bringing himself back into the back of his thoughts. It really wasn't too long ago that him and Bella had been standing right where they were and Jake had let his body and emotions get the better of them, like they always did. He had crushed his lips against her that day, when Bella was in complete denial for her love for him and he had to make her see that she needed him more than just a best friend. Jake slightly smirked, remembering her reaction of shock and yanked away, punching him directly in his jaw. The memory faded when Bella told him that she would punch him if he didn't stop saying they he already knew. Smiling, Jacob said, "Yeah, but this time when you punch me your gonna break my face instead of your hand." He chuckled at the thought of his words, they sounded so unfamiliar and odd. His Bells? Stronger then him? He simply could not comprehend that. And frankly, he didn't think he ever would accept that thought because of his ego and his history with Bella. Like the Cullen bloodsuckers, he saw Bella fragile compared to the mythical world, but over and over she had proved him wrong by making it out of every dangerous situation. Jacob still couldn't force himself, even if he wanted, to realize that this was no longer the same delicate Bella he once knew. She was different in that matter and currently he was trying to think that this was still his Bells. He couldn't help but to let his ego raise when she told him that honesty was a good quality of his. Though, his father also told him, so why he went so special when she said that was past him. "It's hard not to be honest with you, Bells. If I lied you could rip my head off while I sleep now," he said with a playful poke in her arm.

It was only an instant to change Jacob's mood back to irritation and fury at her comment about her not being worthy and that he was. Releasing an angered sigh Jacob intertwined his fingers, not wanting them to start trembling because of her being stubborn. "You're worth missing and being heartbroken over, just as much as I am. I think you forget sometimes how much you mean to me," he paused, meeting her gaze, "I would pick you staying alive and my family dying if I had too. I would rather protect you than my pack, my own kindred. So, don't be stubborn and tell me that you're worth nothing, when you're worth everything," he let his tone have a cold edge to it as he spoke, needing to get the point across. Sometimes he knew that he needed to be firm with Bella and when she came down on herself like that he couldn't quite help but to start to become upset and outraged by it. Not at her, but the fact that he was allowing such thoughts go to her mind. If he could make all her thoughts peaceful and positive, he would do just that within the second, but of course, that is just impossible. Jake remembered the cold nights he slept running through the forest in order to find his love, but he failed every sunrise and every sunset to get to her. "The last thing I could of done was sleep while you were missing. And good, I need to at least think about ripping some part of off their bodies in order to keep myself sane," he stated with a little nod of his head. The black haired boy, however, did not mention the fact that although he didn't sleep, he had, in fact, collapsed in pure exhaustion a few times. He was afraid that kind of excuse wasn't going to make his Bells feel any better, if not much worse, so he decided to simply leave that utterly petite detail out of it.

Jacob wrinked his nose when she called him mutt and then a 'pup'. Hopefully she wasn't going to use these words against him too much, but it wasn't like how the Cullens spat the offensive names at him. With Bella, it was as if she was hanging on to the good things of turning into a vampire such as new ways to tease him. It seemed like that had been a fun game for both of them, verse visa. He rolled his chocolate, warm eyes when she decided to call him pup over mutt, which he had to admit, made him smirk. "I'm glad to hear it, my little leech," he said with sparkling eyes. He couldn't help finding himself so happy around his Bells. "I can't really argue with that... but you've kept some of your human traits too. For example your still that stubborn, confused, beautiful, hardheaded girl I've always known and loved. Plus, you still have the same body even if it smells like hell," he said, in a small attempt to cheer her up the the subject once again. It was hard for Jake to see the brunette stress over what she was because this wasn't her fault. He knew very well that if she picked this life style on her own and it had been Edward or a Cullen to change her, this meeting with her would of taken a whole different direction. There was no way he would be calmly sitting beside her, helping her get past this if the case had been any different. If it had been than Jacob would've been heartbroken for eternity and most likely would have run off, never wanting to see her lovely face again. This would probably cause Jake to eventually not be able to stand the hurt anymore and would give up his werewolf abilities without resistance and no longer be able to shift into his wolf form. Then he would die alone and miserable; that's all there was to it. He agreed when she said it was something they had in common, but all he did was gave a single nod of his head.

The sound of her laughter made Jake laugh as well, about her not liking being accident prone. Then again, who would enjoy such a bad trait to have? "Well, I find it cute, if that makes it any better," he said, keeping his lips tugged up into a confident grin. "Thanks, Bells," he whispered, closing his eyes softly, breathing in her words so he wouldn't forget them like he had done just a little earlier. But will I ever be worthy enough for you to choose me? the barely heard voice spoke inside his mind, echoing like the words were never ending. The moment's where Bella comforted him instead of the other way around was rare these days, but he found much relief in her words, letting his mind come more at ease and hid body less tense. His shoulder's dropped slightly as a warm breath escaped his lips before Bella leaned in for that kiss...

The moment was getting more heated up as Bella matched his lips with a perfectly even pace. Jake felt his insides swirl with anxiety and happiness at the feel of her cold marble lips grazing against his own. He tilted his head to the side so he would be able to put more power into the kiss as he became more lustful for the girl swaying slightly beside him. His lips became eager, biting gently, but notably on her bottom lip playfully. Bella let out a moan, saying his name, driving him way past his limits. Jake couldn't hold himself back now, the animal that all men had to keep contained for so long was beginning to leek out slowly, but surely. It was as if Bella sensed and felt the same as him as she pulled herself up, separating her legs on each side of him, so that she was straddled on his lap, her lips not leaving his mouth. Jake let out an excited growl as her hips began to lightly rock back and forth on him, causing him to move his hands away from his waist and lower to her butt. His mind wasn't allowing him to think anymore, it was just his nature taking over and frankly, Jacob was okay with that at the moment. His hands settled where they were, but his lips couldn't find a place to make them happy. He found himself more content, just a little bit more since he couldn't label anything content right now, as he moved his lips in a faster movement. The feeling of her hands squeezing at his shoulder's made him grow even more impatient with his hands and lips, wanting only more, beginning to feel more than a safe amount of lust over her.

Bella's frozen lips broke away from his, letting him have a breath as she trailed his kisses down to his jawline, then to his the base of his neck. Jacob threw his head back letting out a soft moan of pleasure, closing his eyes, taking in each cold kiss that melted against his hot flesh. He had never felt anything better in his life. Jake gasped for a few breaths, but he reconnected lips with her as soon as he could, not caring about how much air supplies he had left. None of that was important to him anymore. The black haired man slowly slid his tongue across her bottom lip, asking for entrance, doing anything he could to increase what he was feeling right now. Jacob broke away for a moment, only to set a trail down her neck, past the base, and stopped just to the top of her cleavage before moving back up. Jake felt her hips settle more deeply into her lap, causing Jacob to lightly nip at her neck, in sweet attempt to find her soft spot. The was nothing else he wanted this very second then to make her moan again. After a moment, his muscular arms traced back up her back, his finger's just barely brushing the spine of her back so he could support her weight as he shifted himself so that his body was leaning forward and her's was leaning back. It was easy, since Bella was so light to him, lowering them both to the sand, his lips grazing hers without any longer caution. He let Bella's legs stay wrapped around him as he stayed above her, not breaking the kiss apart as his body brushed hers barely. The only person who could stop this was Bella because Jacob wasn't planning to stop any time soon.

NOTES My inner jake is having a party over here!
What about your inner Bella?
Jake's getting over excited. >.>
He wants to frisky so bad XD Haha
WORDS 1999.
TAGGED Jessi !
TUNES The Bad Touch - Bloodhound Gang

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[ISABELLA SWAN]

WHERE WERE YOU THAT DAY ?
when i laid my heart in your hands

Bella could still remember those human moment so easily, something she was thankful. She was told by the others that after so many years of being a vampire, you forget most of your human life. She didn't want that, she wanted to remember every single thing she could hang on to. Especially the first day she arrived in Forks, when Billy and Jake pulled up in that truck. She'd been somewhat upset with her dad that day, she'd saved her own money for a care but yet she'd grown to love that truck so much. She'd even complained at first when Emmett replaced her radio, but grew to be thankful for that. Another one of her favorite human moments, was coming to the beach with her friends and hearing the story from Jake she pretty much had to flirt with him to get out. A lot of her favorite human memories had Jake in them, pretty much all her favorites were created since her move back to Forks. Sure she loved her mother and the moments spent with her, but how can you top falling in love with a vampire and having a werewolf as a best friend? Really, there was no topping that in her mind. "True, and it's such a pretty face that'd be a bad thing." she chuckled, lightly tapping her cold hand against his warm cheek with a smirk on her lips the entire time. She had no thought to actually punch him in the face, she didn't want to hurt him or that mug of his. It was just fun to use old methods as threats, even if last time she'd hurt her own hand pretty bad and wasn't going to try it again. "I don't think I'd rip your head off, that's a little over board. Maybe just box you upside the head." she giggled like a five year old for a moment, covering her mouth at the sound only to laugh more normally for having done that. All the while smiling brightly at him, glad she'd made up her mind to come out here today. If she hadn't come here she'd probably be stuck up in Edward's room at the house, bored out of her mind in her panic like depressive state that she seemed to revert to when left alone for even a few minutes.

She knew her comment had angered him, when ever she mentioned how worthless she was someone always got angry with her. She couldn't help but think that, she'd done nothing but cause trouble for everyone since having moved back to Forks and in with her father. Every moment she spent with Jake was causing some form of trouble, cause she knew he still hoped she'd choose him over Edward; no matter what that small part of her wanted there was a bigger part that belonged to Edward. "That's kind of hard to forget when you don't shush about it." she said in a very teasing and playful manner, no seriousness to that comment as there wasn't meant to be any. He did tell her a lot, or at least give her the look like he wanted to; she knew how much he cared about her but she never really knew why. She never thought herself worth any of the trouble people went through for her. "Jacob... don't say things like that, surely you don't---" she stopped a moment, breathing out and feeling as if she wanted to cry and would if it was at all possible. "Just please don't say that, I'm certainly not worth more then your own family." she let out a long sigh, wishing he hadn't said that. That just made the guilt inside of her rise up and nearly attack her non-working insides, if her heart had worked it would probably have dropped to the floor. Sure it was extremely sweet and loving for him to say that and part of her was happy he cared so much; but she knew she certainly wasn't worth more then his own family. His own father for that matter. Hell she felt her own father himself was worth more then her. Back when James had been hunting her, she'd wanted nothing more then go back to her own house so that she could pretend to be leaving him so that it might be possible for James and Victoria to leave her father alone. She'd cared more about his life, about the Cullen's lives then her own then and she still did; even Jake's life felt more important to her then her own life no matter what anyone else said to her. Hell if it came down to even Emily Young and herself she'd rather die and have Emily live, but admit that to anyone would just get her into more trouble; even if Emily might be flattered by the thought to a point.

"It just makes me feel worse that you didn't sleep Jake." she sighed softly, biting her bottom lip again. She hated that her disappearing had caused everyone so much turmoil. Her father even had most of the police force out looking for her and she'd barely been able to see him since she got back. She didn't want to risk her losing control around him, she'd never forgive herself in a million years for harming one hair on her father's head. "My little leech... Yeah, I'll live with that." she chuckled, just hoping he didn't call her that around Edward or the others. The others probably wouldn't think so lightly of the term being an affectionate nickname for her. It was technically a highly offensive thing to them. "Not to mention I'm still a klutz." she huffed slightly, having hoped that would go away completely upon her change. Sure, it was quite gone for sure but she still had her moments. Then again she was still getting used to everything; all the new speed and strength and hearing. So with time it may go away completely, or so she hoped for that to happen. "Same body, really? I figured I filled out a little more, became less awkward looking." she said, more for a male's benefit then her own as she'd always think herself awkward looking. Specially with the marbled skin and topaz eyes, she thought they looked so weird on her that she'd constantly look out and place and still far less beautiful compared to her coven and especially compared to Rosalie who's beauty she still envied. "I don't smell all that bad, do I?" she asked with a laugh. She knew to his nose and the werewolve's natural hatred for vampires, that she probably smelt like she rolled around in something foul. Yet she could say the same for Jake, hence why she was using the fact she didn't have to breathe at all; but deep down in his scent she could still smell that forest pine she loved so much about his smell. She hoped that smell would always be there. She hoped that, in general, Jacob in a whole would always be there with her. Even if she hadn't picked him, she wanted him to be in her life because he was still her best friend. Was that selfish of her?

"Yes, much better pup." she said in a sarcastic tone, snickering slightly as she failed to stay serious enough to pass off as if it'd made her mad or something. She couldn't help it, besides the guilt simmering in her system; she was having a good time. Being around Jake always seemed to distract her from the non-normal parts of her life, no matter if they were both supernatural creatures now or not. She knew Jacob when he was still human, when she was human; he gave her the memory of a more normal life before all this happened. There was still a part within her that wanted to pick him, but it was always being pushed down but the larger part that would absolutely die without Edward and leave her a shell no one could possibly fix or fill again. Alright, so that was a bit morbid and probably an over statement, but she really loved Edward to the furthest depths and knew she'd picked him for a reason, no matter how much Jake wanted to be picked. When his eyes closed she let a small smile slip onto her face, hand running along his cheek for a moment without her even realizing it'd moved from it's previous position. "You're welcome Jake, really. What would I do without you?" she spoke in the softest voice she could find, the corners of her eyes tilted up with her smile as she looked at his own eyes a moment and took in their color that she loved so much. Alright, so this little moment in itself was causing to guilt and thoughts of Edward to rise inside her. But there was always just something about Jake that made her react and talk and act the way she did around him that she couldn't help it. That was just how the two of them were with each other, Bella never once wanted to feel she was using him for her own benefit even if at times she probably was. She couldn't it, there was no way she was losing him from her life. She'd be lost without him, more then he knew or she probably even realized right now; what with everything else going on and all.

Kissing Jake... this moment heating up between him, her mind racing; all of this would have caused the blood to rush in her face and her heart pound away in her ears if anything inside her worked anymore. If she'd actually had a working stomach though, it probably would have dropped to the ground guilt ridden for taking these actions with Jake. The kiss was so heated, his hot flesh against her cold marbled skin that in itself felt heated up thanks to him. This was one thing she couldn't get with Edward, even in her human life; the heat of a human body even if he wasn't technically human and the currently level of heat probably would have seriously damaged her in her human life. Stupid Bella, stop enjoying this! that strong, Edward loving, part inside of her screamed as it ran around in her head and tried ever so hard to win out but that smaller and weaker part was enjoying it's victory and the kiss and everything about this moment; including every touch either of them made. Bella took an enjoyment in the feeling of her lips against his neck, teasing his skin as much as possible before he pulled her in for another kiss and any more thought that had almost gathered seemed to fly out of her head and into the wind blowing along the beach. She opened her mouth some when he asked for entrance to it, but was careful because of the fact she had venom know and any one mistake in a deeper kiss could cause him pain and she didn't want that. She could see know why Edward, damn the pains and twinges of guilt just then, wanted to be so careful with their kisses when she was human.

The moment his lips had made their way along her skin and up to her neck she let out a moan, if you listened real close to it you could make a jumbled form of his name; or at least an attempt to moan a coherent word but the attempt was a near fail as an animal snarl of a moan left her lips shortly after. His fingers brushing along her spine sent a chill through her, she could feel the heat of his skin through her clothes and man did it feel good. EDWARD, EDWARD, EDWARD! that inner voice screamed as loudly as it could at her, but she barely noticed it as the weak little part went running after it to try and get it to shut up because it could already feel the guilt and thoughts of 'this is wrong' bubbling around inside of her and that weak little part did not want to stop. Part of her was quite happy going further with Jake rather then stopping. When she felt something more then his hands against her back, her hands traveled along his arms and up to the back of his neck as she kissed him, slightly less eager before thanks to that guilt rising inside of her; but man was it still a hell of a kiss. A hand leaving his neck for a moment to slip down his chest, legs still wrapped around his waist; more so as they wrapped around a bit more upon their move to the sandy floor. "Jakkkeee.." a shuttering moan left her lips as she pulled from the kiss to give her air breathing pup a chance to do just that, breathe. Her own lips trailing back along his jaw line to his throat and give it some attention there as her hands slowly ran along and explored his chest. The curves and heat of his body was just another thing pulling at that weak side of her, the strong part fighting against it but Bella had always been one to prefer the warmth compared to cold and wet; one of the many things she'd told Edward when he actually first said something to her, the strong part having a silent victory for a brief moment as the thought of Edward came and swirled around her head but was chased out by that weak part of her having way more fun then she should be having.

---

WORDCOUNT// 2557
RESERVEDOROPEN// for jake. <3
BRAINJUICE// Kimi ni negai wo, Miyavi
NOTEPAD//
alright, so as you can tell that weak part is
still winning. but the strong part is getting
louder, see; it screamed edward's name at her.
lmao. idk if she'll stop it after your next reply.
depends on how much louder that inner voice
gets. hope your jake loves it. xP hehe. <3

[JACOB BLACK]

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I DONT WANNA BE THE FOOL
T H A T G E T S L E F T B E H I N D I N T H E D U S T
_________________________________________________

The breeze blew off of the ocean, tussling his hair around lightly, revealing his nostrils from Bella's strong scent for only a second. The salty and fresh smell had nice feel to it and the good feeling was only being added on as the brunette replied with a smart mouth comment and innocent laugh, provoking him to roll his eyes and grin. "I have to agree, it is quite pretty," he said in a teasing tone, resting his hand on his cheek, turning his head slightly acting as if he was modeling his facial features for her. Just seeing her just smiling, the black haired man knew that he was making her feel better about all matters in her life momentarily. After a certain amount of him time he was sure Bella would start letting her mind instead of her willpower take over and begin to feel guilty for spending so much time with Jake, being completely happy when she should be wrapped up in Edward's arms. It really did bother Jake; how she always went back to the bloodsucker, but it mostly bothered himself. Sometimes, on the rare occasion that he wasn't out on a night patrol, the russet werewolf would lay in old comfortable bed, wishing that he could let Bells go. Or at least just keep himself from thinking her as more than just a friend. Things would be easier... he would accept himself as only her best-man if she ever had a wedding with the Cullen and he would be able to be around her without wanting to crush his lips against hers every five seconds. Not only that, but Bella wouldn't have to deal with his mood swings over her and she wouldn't have to be confused over anyone. Everything would just be normal and simple, but Jake knew that wasn't life. No matter how much he hoped that his love would subside for her, it never did. He couldn't let her move on without him, Jacob just couldn't do it. Jake smiled crookedly without meaning to before letting out a loud, uncontrolled laugh that lasted only a minute. He watched Bella try to cover her mouth to make herself not giggle hysterically at her own teasing. "Wow, thanks Bells, 'cause slamming me in the side of the head is just so much more pleasant," he finally managed to muffle out, making himself stop laughing and left a returning her bright smile with a playful, tender smile of his own.

If Jake wasn't here with his Bella at this moment he'd be hanging around his house. Seth was taking the night patrol tonight and Leah had actually offered to do a few monring shifts since she took pity on him for his situation with the kidnapping problem. At his house he'd be dead asleep, then wake up in his dark room, laying their silently only in his boxer shorts to keep himself cool. Billy would probably come in at one point and throw something at him from his wheelchair and ask Jake to do some chores around the house and would tell him to quit being so lazy with a joking hint in his optics. It was just be a normal day and he would rather have an insane day with Bella than to have another plain, predictable day. "Well, it's important that I remind you," he said back with a hidden feeling of seriousness behind his tone, but he made it sound as if Jake was only joking around with her. His eyes stayed alert on her movement, noticing the heaving sigh that made her chest raise up in a slow matter, like she was crying, but on the inside. Softening his eyes at her words, he knew that trying to convince that it was true would do no good. If it did anything, it would make her even more upset because he put her before his own blood and brothers. No matter how true it was, Jacob let it go. "You can try to deny it, but it doesn't change the fact of the reality in my mind," he pointed out softly, feeling guilty for even bringing this up. Like always, he shoved the guilt back with almost ease; he's done it so many times that's it's become quite easy now. It bugged him that if Bella weren't a vampire right now and was still a human that she might of been crying in guilt at his words. Or, maybe, just tearing up, but still... it was because of his verbal actions. Looking down at the ground for a minute, he pondered on death. If he honestly had to choose between Billy or Bella dying, he would effortlessly save his little sparkling leech and his father would agree with his choice as well. Billy would probably never talk to his son again if he saved him instead of Bella anyway. damn, Jake would pick Bells over his own life without hesitation. He has showed this statement honest by fighting those newborn vampires. Is that healthy?

Jacob waved his hand around in a smooth, single movement, blowing off her words as if they were no big deal. "I was only messing with you, Bells. You don't need to feel bad about that, you have enough on your shoulders right now. I'm really not that tired, I'm used to not sleeping," which was partly the truth and part of a lie. He really was used to not sleeping, with all his responsibilities and being kept awake by trouble. Though, just because he was used to it didn't mean that he wasn't exhausted every step he took, but he figured it would be better to leave that part out. Jake didn't want her to pity over him or get outraged at herself because she was the cause of it, like she always does. "I can live with Pup, but only you can get away with calling me that," he stated with a side smirk. He was referring to the Cullen's that had dared to call him mutt and dog... he had snarled at them and made a threatening face at them, like he was going to kill them right then, but they only glared back. But this vampire was allowed to call him anything that pleased her. Jake hated to admit it, but he almost liked that Bella called him pup. She was right when it made everything just seem more normal and not unnatural... like being a werewolf and vampire was something that everyday people knew about and didn't care. Which in reality, was nothing like what would happen if one of them were exposed to the real world. Hell would break loose. He chuckled softly her words as she pouted over the fact that she was still as clumsy as she ever was. "At least when you trip now, it won't hurt when you hit the ground," he said as if this was a positive thing. "You were never awkward looking to me, but you do seem more graceful. I mean, your eyes are different and your skin is a little bit paler... plus, you move a lot faster now... but that's about it," he smiled at the last part referring to hearing her walk down the beach. He might have not looked up at her, but his ears were so sensitive since the shift of his species that he could hear the change of pattern in her walking. Bella walked much faster and more steady then the average human now, but Jake knew she would adjust to pretending to be human quickly.

He shifted his weight on the log he sat upon when she questioned her scent to him. "There's no way to put this in a nice way, you stink," he smiled calmly, "but I think I can get use to it," the werewolf added in stifling a quick chuckle. It didn't matter if she smelled so bad that he didn't want to breath because this was Bella he was talking about. Jake couldn't stay away even if he wanted to, without having to run so far away that no one could ever find him. Not even those tracking freaky bloodsuckers. He met her eyes as she agreed that it was much better now, "I'm glad, fangs," he let the words slide naturally from his mouth. Had he ever called a vampire fangs? Hm... maybe that was a new one. The black haired man sighed at her question on what she would do without him. Without him she wouldn't be in pain all the time, trying to figure out if it was Edward and Jacob more worth loving. She would be enjoying her life with Edward and her life would continue on with joy. Of course, he hid this bitter part screeching at him and simply said, "I don't know... and you never will know," he said with confidence reflecting off his tone, as if it was a promise to never leave her. Which, Jake already knew he couldn't do that... if she left him, he would let her go, even if he had to suffer because of it. He wanted Bella to be happy even though he wished to be happy himself; she always came before he did. ...Kissing Bella, there really was no way to describe the butterflies that bolted around inside him. They were just driving him forward, both physically and mentally. There were no doubts in his mind as he laid above her, lowering himself just so his weight was more directly on her now. Jacob found himself in victory as she parted her lips, allowing his tongue to enter. He was eager, exploring every inch of her mouth, taking in every second of this, as though he was scared that she would push him away and never want to look at him again. Though, that small part inside of him couldn't blame Bella if she wanted to do that. Jake wouldn't give up on her, even then, but he was taking advantage of her, which could lead to a later on argument if things turned out like that. His heart was thumping wildly across his chest and he was sure that Bella could feel and hear it as her hands drifted across his chest. The touch of her icy finger's felt unbearable, making him wiggle slightly in pleasure, doing his best to keep himself from letting out another loud moan. Jake began to message Bella's tongue with his own, finding it extremely fulfilling.

After a few minutes Bella pulled away, giving time for Jacob to swallow some more air. He was panting softly, not realizing how much his lungs were begging for air the entire time his mouth had been occupied. While kissing Bella, he didn't have time to think about those little worries. The vampire left a tail of frozen kisses from his jawline to his throat and worked in the area. No matter how much Jake tried to hold back another groan from escaping between his lips, he failed. He moaned louder this time when her lips came to his soft spot; he tried not to flinch as she gave her attention to it, driving him into insanity. The werewolf tilted his head back, allowing her to continue to give him those love filled kisses as her hands became active with running across his muscular chest and slight dipping curves. The heat was radiating off his body now with every movement of hers and his own. Gaining his breath back, he took the moment of his lips being free by gently running his hands down her sides until he was at the bottom of her shirt. Jacob's eyes drifted downward as he tenderly put his hands underneath her shirt, meeting his topaz gaze seductively while feeling her soft flesh beneath the warm fabric. He laid a single kiss on the side of her neck before removing her shirt over her head and tossed his carelessly to the sand beside him. It was only fair that if she could to see half of him naked then he should see her half too. Jake skimmed his warmhearted optics her pale skin that looked so appealing against the yellow grains of sand beneath her. The only thing that covered any part of her torso was her bra, which Jake was willing to work around for now. He leaned back in and connected his lips with her own, but only for a shirt moment. How could this moment of happened? Why was Bella letting him do this to her? Jacob's mind asked him, but he didn't know the answers, and frankly, he didn't give a damn right now.

Very slowly, Jacob put his lips to the base of her neck and trailed down, each one of his hot kisses melting against her cool skin. His hands were sliding up and down her waist, admiring the feeling of her bare skin against his naked hands. He let out a jumbled moan, saying her name, but it came out more as a hungry growl. His lips moved to her stomach, knowing that this area was a bit more sensitive. It wasn't until a few more seconds that his lips stopped right above her pants line, "Tell me to stop," he suddenly murmured as he grazed her skin with his mouth. Jake had no self control over himself, Bella was the only one that could stop this. Not a single part wanted to stop this moment, except for the piece that was being pushed farther and farther back into the corner of his mind that questioned how longs would be with Bella in the end result. If Jake made this go all the way, would him and Bella still remain? Moving up closer to her neck once again her placed his hands on her waist so she wouldn't be able to squirm. Letting his tongue softly skim the cleavage that was showing, he let out a soft familiar groan. "Stop me," he growled it as if he really didn't want her to stop because that's how he truly felt. Jake let his fingers drift toward her pants until they halted at the zipper and buckle. He unlatched the button and tugged on them, nuzzling her neck while he did so.

NOTES Heh, My Jake is loving it.
He is being a badboy =.= But everything
it up to Bella, so the pressure is all on her (:
I enjoyed typing those last two paragraphs.
I have some issues XD
WORDS 2618.
TAGGED Jessi !
TUNES Saying Sorry - Hawthorne Heights

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[ISABELLA SWAN]

WHERE WERE YOU THAT DAY ?
when i laid my heart in your hands

Bella wanted normal, that's what she wanted but she could never have that again. Even if she let that weak little part of her throw everything she had with Edward away and she chose Jake or neither of them; there was no more normal for her. Every time she looked in a reflective surface or paid attention to the way she moved or hell even the way she talked... Normal was long gone and she was never getting anywhere near it again, no matter how much she wished she could have it back. No, she wasn't wishing that she'd never met Edward; that wasn't the thought in her head. She was just wishing for some normalcy, she craved it and so far was looking for it anyway she could. "Cocky pup." she teased him for a moment, glad for these few moments of normal and joking around conversation that she was having with him. Being stuck in that house, feeling sorry for herself; well it sucked. No matter how much she felt drawn to a depressive state... she didn't want to show it, nor go back to it in front of Jake. Those kind of emotions just got in into trouble, course it seemed every emotion she had anymore seemed to get her into trouble and it really dug into her and just made her think more on the fact that she was the cause of a lot of people's drama. "I wouldn't hit you that hard, god." she scuffed, laughing some at him with a half smile on her lips. But one of those silly little half smiles, that could get her out of any situation and just... naturally seemed to peek onto her face at random times when she'd upset someone. She knew in a million years she'd never hurt Jake on purpose, so smacking him wasn't really an option; no matter how she did it. Alright so sure, she'd done it before but know she knew better. Even if she'd probably break his face before her own hand, she could still remember the pain that came from punching him in the jaw. Attempting that, even now, was a bad idea for the both of them.

Bella was tired of sitting around in Edward's room or the living room with the others while they watched TV or someone talked with another person in the other room. It was pretty much like walking on glass around her lately, they were careful with what they said or the actions they took. Rosalie was acting a little better but still the girl pretty much hated Bella, Bella had chosen to be around all the vampires and such in her life and she'd been about to choose to become what she was today. But like Rosalie, and the others, it was stolen from her so the woman couldn't possibly hate her forever could she? "Well then, if you're so determined to remind me; there's no stopping you is there?" she laughed, she knew once he put his mind to something that indeed there was no changing it. That was one of the things she liked about him, as well as one of the things that complicated their friendship. He was so dead set on his love for her and wanting her to pick him, that there was no changing his mind about any of it. He'd most likely love her forever, though the thought made a part of her feel more happy then she should; another part felt extremely guilty that she was putting him through this and all the while it created empty promises. "Jake you listen to me alright, you're family and your pack; their more important then I am. Look at what I am Jake, it's only natural you should put them before me." she spoke, grasping his face between her hands but lightly, quickly dropping from his cheeks after making contact, though her voice was stubborn and stern. She wanted to cry so badly right now, her body ached in remembrance of what tears and crying used to feel like. When only a little over a week ago she had the possibility to cry her eyes out and now that was gone from her and sad as it was to think, she'd miss the tears. Bella just didn't feel as important as people made her out to be, she knew she probably never would.

It just wasn't in her, like he'd said; she was stubborn and she was too damn stubborn to believe that someone, or someones, could love her so damn much to put so many things before her. Edward himself would most likely put his own family before her and that just made all the guilt inside her bubble and make her feel like she wanted to burst. "Just please, promise me now that I'm home you'll get plenty of sleep. Even if I have to stick around and force you. I don't need sleep anymore, you do mister." she chuckled, though said it in a way that he'd know she was serious. Though to him that was probably a pleasing thought, sharing a bed with her even if it was just her watching him sleep. Though the idea seemed to intrigue her, Edward had watched her for months so there had to be something to it right? "Yay, I finally have a good nickname for you. Jake was getting so boring." she teased as she let a laugh slip off her with a smile on her face. She'd never really been able to come up with much of a nickname for him, so now that she could call him that in all truth it made her feel somewhat better. That small little gesture in fact did give her a sense of happiness for a moment, letting her smile seem to grow some. "True, if I trip I might hurt the ground rather then it hurting me." she snickered some with a light shrug of her shoulders, causing her hair to flip against her shoulders some. She pushed a strand of her own hair behind her ear and bit her bottom lip once more, rolling her eyes at his words for a moment. "I was still plenty pale as a human, so there's awkward for you. And I spent most of my life in Phoenix, explain me not getting a tan." she laughed, bringing up random things about her past. It was Jessica Stanley who first pointing out the fact she was a stand out compared to others. 'Aren't people from Arizona supposed to be like... really tan?' had been her question, or at least what Bella could remember of it. So there was one thing that was truly awkward about her, being a vampire her skin had barely seemed to grow any paler. Just colder.

"You better, cause if my smell keeps you away that'd be real hurtful." she teased him, laughing softly with a light shrug. It wasn't so bad, she didn't have to breathe at least so she had an upside, she had an advantage really. Poor air breathing pup. "Did you just call me... fangs?" she asked, looking like it'd been hurtful. She tried to keep a serious face to act like it had upset her, but seconds into the surprised look she started to bust up laughing and held onto her side for a moment until she composed herself, if she'd been human her eyes would've watered from laughing so hard. "Sorry." she gulped some non-needed air in, turning her head away from him a moment to blow out forcefully and then turned back to him with an innocent little smile like she hadn't just nearly died of laughter if that'd been possible. "Good, because no matter what Jacob; I never want to find out what life is like without you around. No matter what." she shook her head sternly, trying to get her point across. She'd fallen into a deep depression when Edward had left, Jacob had been the only one to pull her out of it. Everyone else who tried seemed to fail, much to their sorrow in the end. But when Jacob came along, he really saved her; losing him from her life would utterly destroy her. Sure she'd have Edward and he was her fiancee, but Jake was her best friend and still quite a high value in her life. Another huge feeling of loss and there'd be no coming back from it, if she lost Jake... or even Edward again; all you'd see of her is an empty shell of a person that wanted nothing left to do with anyone. Alright Bella, that's extremely morbid. her inner voice whined, and she knew that it was but she didn't care. Edward and Jacob were the two most important people in her world, sorry Charlie and Alice, and without either of them she'd no longer be Bella. She'd be a big black hole.

Jacob's touch against her skin was a firey feeling, something she hadn't gotten with Edward sure; there was a difference between kissing Jake and kissing Edward. Jacob's kiss was rough and heated through emotions as well as actual body temperature. But Edward's, even the simplest peck on the lips had been a head rush to her. She could easily remember the moment he got back, saw what she was and still loved her. They'd thrown all events to the wind and just... well, it was that head rushing feeling again. But Jacob... and her reaction she got from their actions, was completely different. His touch sizzled against her skin, causing her to moan into the kiss as his tongue explored her mouth and her own taking up a mind of it's own and doing the same. Kissing someone with a high body temperature and a pulse was quite the difference, no matter if that stronger part inside her told her how much more she loved the head rush from Edward's kiss. That weak part, the one that held her hidden desire for Jake; was no longer hidden away and was enjoying every moment of it's victory, no matter how much guilt was rising inside of her and fueling that stronger part of her bit by bit. Why was she so conflicted, why did she feel so good right now yet so guilty for feeling good? She loved Edward and this was wrong, but every touch from Jacob was just making that weak part inside of her crave him more; causing every inch of her to go wild for one reason or another. Whether it was her inner voice yelling at her, or her desire egging her on. She hadn't even noticed when her shirt had left her body, she couldn't notice anything other then his kiss... and his touch and the growing storm of mixed emotions swirling around in side her that was nearly enough to make her want to scream, and not just in pleasure.

His hands on her skin without her shirt, barely made a difference to the exhilarating feeling when the heat had seemed to seep through the fabric that was now laying gods know where on the beach. Tell me to stop. his voice echoed in her ears, that strong part screaming to go a head and tell him to stop because everything they were doing was wrong. She loved Edward, this would destroy him if he knew and that caused the guilt to bubble and boil inside her but that weak part was still in control and it egged her on more so because it knew it had begun to lose once more. "I... I can't." she breathed out, the words leaving her mouth before she even realized her lips had parted to speak rather then moan like they had seconds before. That weak part inside of her thought it's control was building again, thought that they'd be able to finish what had been started. There was a rushing feeling inside of her as she helped slip her jeans off, but the moment they landed off her and onto the sand in a ruffled pile; it was like a piano had fallen on that weak part of her. Crushing it's chances of finishing as Bella used every ounce of new vampire speed to dart out from under Jake, but in that hurry she hadn't anticipated where she'd land exactly the moment she stopped moving. Crashing herself into one of the many enlarged rocks on the beach, it split nearly in two at the force of the impact and it dazed her a little. The rock seemed to whine beneath her as she pushed herself off it, a soft 'ow' coming from her lips as she looked over at him. Her mouth opened to speak but she couldn't find the words to use, though her eyes spotted her shirt and jeans and if her stomach had been working she probably would've hurled a little. No offense, it was just that she was so over whelmed with guilt at what they'd been doing and that much guilt would make anyone lose their lunch.

"What... what were we doing?" she asked him, stumbling forward at nearly a human pace with her hand to her stomach as her mind allowed her to remember was guilt and nausea felt like without actually feeling anything working inside her. "I shouldn't have kissed you... I..." her words were jumbled, all over the place as she moved closer at a slow pace to retrieve her jeans which were so close to him. The heat radiating off his body made that weak part inside her to pine away for his touch again, even just a hug from him right now could ignite that fire of actions so she had to be careful. Inside of her that strong part was scolding her so much more fiercely now that it had control, the feeling like she wanted to cry ran over her once more. She'd slipped her jeans on by then, grabbed her shirt and fell to her knees on the sand with shirt in hand as her hands covered her face and she balled herself forward some and just heaved her body, knowing if she was human she'd be crying so fiercely right now. Guilt swarm swiftly through her, shame over what she'd done because like always she was blaming herself for all of this. She wouldn't blame Jacob, she knew how he felt and she'd started all of it with that kiss. "Stupid, stupid Bella." she scolded herself aloud as she rocked her body back and forth, she could bare looking up at Jacob just yet; she didn't want to see the look on his face for fear she might lose it and give in. What was she thinking? The guilt inside her alone was enough to destroy every sense of normalcy she'd felt today, rocking harder as her body heaved; which she could just cry it all out.

---

WORDCOUNT// 2764
RESERVEDOROPEN// for jake. <3
BRAINJUICE// ironic, alanis morissette
NOTEPAD//
okay, so of course she's going to be dramatic;
that's bella for you. haha. hope this is okay,
i kind of let her take control at the end there. xD

[JACOB BLACK]

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I DONT WANNA BE THE FOOL
T H A T G E T S L E F T B E H I N D I N T H E D U S T
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Jacob pushed his bare feet through the sand, feeling the little grains of stone massage his foot. It wasn' t offend that he wore shoes on the account of when he changed into his wolf form his shoes would explode in mid air from his massive paws. Billy couldn't afford a new pair of shoes every week, so Jake decided to just take this on the easy, simple way and not wear any at all. Unless he was going into town because, well, obviously he didn't want to stand out anymore than he did and it wasn't like he could shift into a nine foot wolf in the middle of town anyway. He could only smirk when she called him a cocky pup since he was already aware of this personality trait. His pack let him now this constantly when he spoke his mind, but he tended to let it show a little more when he was around Bella. The need to impress her was always there, even if he knew well that she didn't need to be impressed by him anymore. Jake had been around Bella long enough to know that she wasn't the type of girl to go running to a man because he was trying to impress her. He learned this awhile ago when Mike had offered Bella an invitation to go with him and some friends to a movie, but everyone bailed last second besides her, Mike, and Jake. As awkward as that was for the werewolf, he could only see Mike as a threat and they both desperately tried to prove to one another that Bella liked themselves and not the other one. It didn't last long since the guy had gotten sick at the theater and they had to leave half way through the movie. The black haired boy hadn't found it fun at all and only went because it was Bella who asked him to... but still. The little runt was all on her and Jake could only barely contain his envy. His mind perked slightly now, remembering that Mike was way out of the picture. However there was one person who was much more closer to Bella and much, well, stronger then Mike that needed to be kicked out of the picture. "Yeah, that's what they all say and then before you know it, bam! I'll be flying back a hundred feet," he said with a wide joking smile.

Honestly, Jake could picture this happening if Bella let her emotions roll over on her and her anger the best of her. What Jake would do to cause her to hit him that hard, well, he could think of many things. For example, hurting Edward. The thought of killing that bloodsucker crossed his mind offend, but he knew that would make Bella do more than just hit him. She would go on rampage and then after that probably never talk to him again if he made that out alive.

"Not even for a second," he said shaking his head as she questioned that there was no stopping him. It made him and Bella have the interesting personality clashes at times because they were both extremely stubborn when it came down to almost anything. It was true that he was dead set on winning her love for him. No matter how many discouragements there were, he couldn't let it go. He loved her. Along with that love came the whole imprinting problem. Being a werewolf there was almost the rare chance that he would imprint on someone else. Or what if he already imprinted on Bella? How the hell was he even supposed to know when he did imprint, if he ever did. Why did the rule come along with being a werewolf, it's unfair. Jacob always wanted to be around Bella... was that an imprint? It was a frustrating thing and Jake hated it with all his life. He sighed, "Hypocritical vampire..." he murmured under his breath, forgetting that she could now hear him much better. "It was just you that was picking the unnatural path for falling for a vampire and wanting to be changed because you put him before anyone else in your family. You knew you would have to leave everything behind and yet, you still begged him to turn you. Now that you are a bloodsucker, you're trying to tell me that I need to pick a natural path of who I love and care for more?" he asked, his chocolate eyes no longer warm and inviting, but now cold and aggressive. Bella had not only ruined her only chance of having a normal life, but it also ruined his. This hadn't even come to his mind yet until now... Jacob was in love with a vampire; there was nothing normal about that. Taking a deep sigh, trying to regather his fleeing emotions he put his face his his hands. "Shit... Bella... Sorry," he paused, tightening his jaw, "I know the change wasn't your fault and I don't blame you for anything. I just can't help it; I have to put you before anyone else, okay?"

Thinking about sleeping made the exhaustion he felt earlier waiting for Bella swept back over him. Though, her words played through his mind like a game. Her coming back to his room in his room? Hm, Jake could get used to liking that. Even if it was a little childish, wanting her there to help him sleep better; it would probably work too. Jacob was sure the second he got home and collapsed on his bed, if he made it there... there was a chance he would fall on his couch, that his mind would go into a frenzy about Bella. It happened a lot at night to him, she was always on his mind and subconscious, keeping him awake. That may not happen though if she is there with him. Jake wouldn't have to worry about her or think anything of her because she would be right by his side. Softly grinning he said, "I think you're going to have to force me." It was obvious that he was happy about that thought from the delight beaming from his optics. He rolled his eyes as she called his name boring, but it really didn't bother him. "Well, I'm sorry that my name couldn't be more exciting like Odysseus, or, Hercules," he mused sarcastically looking into her sparkling golden eyes acting like he was offended. "Bells, you would destroy the ground and knock down a whole row of trees, if you fell while running that fast," he said laughing. It would be just like her if she fell and knocked down the forest. It would be all over the news channel on television 'A meteor hits La push forest?' and he would be snickering and teasing Bella about it while she watched in horror. Jake thought about that for a moment, remembering the day she first arrived to Forks and Billy had forced him over to say hello. He remembered what she looked like and there was no doubt that she was almost as pale as she was now. "The only reason I can give you is that you're just plain old weird," he chuckled, shooting her a famous bright smile of his, teasingly. There really wasn't an explanation to why she stayed so pale when being out in the sun for so long.

Jake rolled his optics at her words, "You're smell won't keep me away from you," nothing ever could, he added silently in his head, "I promise." Her scent did throw him off a little, but maybe this was a good thing? Maybe he wouldn't be so tempted by her? Jacob looked back up at her, finding himself to be proven wrong; he was just as tempted as before. He noticed she wasn't even breathing... lucky for her, she didn't need to. If Jake was able to not breath either things would be perfect in that category, but that wasn't the case. He tried to keep his breaths quick and shallow so he would have to take a mouth fill of her foul stench, but her scent was already burnt in his nostrils and mouth; it didn't do much good trying not to breath as much. Jacob wondered if maybe he shouldn't of called her fangs; he was confused by her reactions. First she was shocked that he had said that to her, then she looked beyond hurt. He opened his mouth to apologize, but before he could she burst into laughter. Narrowing his eyes, he ran his hands through his hair, he didn't like when she scared him like that. "Jeez Bells, I thought you were about to kill me," he muttered, watching her continue to laugh hysterically. She put her around around ribcage from laughing so hard and bent over slightly, finding his words very amusing. It was as if her happiness was contagious, making him start to laugh lightly too. It was always good to make her laugh like this. He bet Edward never did. When she apologized Jacob just tiled his head to the side cutely, "Yeah, you should be. I almost had a heart attack thinking I'd offended you," he mused, still grinning. Jake felt his heart flutter at her words; he was beyond joyful to hear that. "Good because I'll always be there for you," he said in a hushed whisper, letting her words echo in his mind for a moment, "No matter what." Without his Bells, who knew what his life would be like? He hadn't ever thought about it before... all he could focus on was having Bella.

Furrowing his eyebrows he pictured himself getting up every morning, just to look forward to patrol. Then he would go hang out with the pack for a little while, getting annoyed by Leah's attitude and would joke around with Embry for a bit. He would eat at Emily's, only having normal thoughts like 'I wonder what she's cooking' or 'I should get back home soon to help Billy out'. Eventually he'd give up his werewolf powers and die. His life would be close to normal and boring. There wouldn't be that spark he felt every time he woke up, that determination that drove him forward each day to finish everything so he could see Bella. There wouldn't be the need to watch for vampires and hurtful creatures as well because there wouldn't be anyone he really cared about protecting as much as Bella. He wouldn't know what love felt like, or get stronger because he wouldn't have anything to strive for. Now, he wanted to live forever and refused to give up his werewolf abilities because Bella would always be here in Earth for eternity. Jake wanted to be beside her for eternity either as a friend or something more.

Jake heard her stuttering words, saying that she couldn't stop, refusing his request. Shutting his eyes in almost pain of lust, Bella let out a moan like she had done seconds before. She was murdering him. He arched his back slightly as he tried removing her pants, but she ended up tugging them off the rest of the way with an eager expression. Jacob ran his eyes down her legs feeling his stomach tighten and his lips slowly turn to a smug smirk that was barely visible to any pair of eyes. Before he had the chance to do anything else, Bella was suddenly gone from underneath him. His head whipped to the side, following her as she crashed into the boulder that had been beside her. He didn't feel anything at the moment since everything had happened to suddenly. Jake shifted his body so that he wasn't in the same position with nothing underneath him, so he pushed himself to sit on his knees, trying to figure out what had happened. Confusion was melting inside him as he stared blankly at Bella who looked dazed sitting between the rock she had split into two pieces from the sudden compact of her hard marble body. She opened her mouth as though she was going to say something, but her jaw closed as she stood up and walked at a very slow pace to where her shirt was before pulling it back on. Then Bella moved to where he pants laid in the sand, beside Jacob. She seemed uncomfortable now when she walked over by him and picked them up before slipping them back on. Jake's mind was going in circles until Bella spoke. He paused, shaking his head, no longer phased by what just happened. After all; he had been the one to ask her to stop. "We were..." he trailed off, putting a hand behind his neck, knowing exactly what he was about to do. She continued to ramble on, seeing like she wasn't able to collect her thoughts as she began regretting her actions. Damn it. Damn it. Damn it! This was all his fault! What the hell had he been thinking?

Jacob clenched his fists, he could of just ruined any shot he ever had with Bella. If he had pulled away after a few minutes of her kissing him, then he could of just talked to her instead of getting more active. He could of said something to make her realize that they were meant to be together. But no. He stupid hormones got in his way and he had enjoyed it too much. "It's my fault," he mumbled after she said that she shouldn't have kissed him. He had been so close to taking her virginity. And he loved every moment of it. This made him furious with himself, at his ego that was nagging at him to keep on taking advantage of her while still could; even if he knew how important virginity was and how confused this girl was. It wasn't a reason to try to take her when she wasn't even sure that she loved Jake that much. It made him sick to look at himself in such a monstrous way. The black haired boy had no idea what to do now as she sat back down and began to rock herself. He had caused this. He had caused her to feel all this guilt and pain all for his selfish needs. As his thoughts piled up on top of him, his emotions started to dig their claws into every inch of his body. Jacob got to his feet, still panting from the adrenaline that was pouring through his body at her earlier touches. He wanted to go over to comfort Bella, but he wasn't sure if that would be the best idea. She probably hated him now.

Rage flooded him, every hair on his arms stood on end at the madness. His hands started to tremble and his jaw clenched as she showed his teeth like a wild animal. Slamming his eyes shut, Jacob fell to his knees and clamped his hand into his hair, putting his face into his inner elbow. He had to stop this anger from taking over or else he would change and hurt himself or even Bella if he let his emotions drive him. Jacob heard her words calling herself stupid repeatedly, causing his shaking to continue. Luckily, Bella wasn't looking up to see him like this and he didn't want her to see it either. Taking in a deep breath, which sounded more like in inward growl, Jake released his emotions and stopped shaking. Now the only emotions that he let himself feel was that tinge of heat from their earlier actions and his anger. Standing back up once more, he moved toward her, "Bella... you aren't stupid. It's all my fault for encouraging you..." he trailed off, bending down to her height on the ground. Since she wasn't looking at him, he hesitantly tipped her chin up. The only reason he hesitated was because of his swirling emotions and the afraid that he might accidentally loose it and kiss her. "I got carried away," he whispered, "I'm sorry... I'm the stupid one," he stated removing his hand from her chin when he felt chills down up and down his hand from her touch. Jacob looked down at the ground, not able to look at her because of his own shame. Because even though this girl sat in front of him with all the regret and pain in the world, he still wanted to finish what they had started. It was a completely different story when it came down to wanting Bella to actually having Bella in his control like that. What would be happened if he hadn't told her to stop? Was it his words that seemed to click something into her mind and over load his guilty pleasure? Or did Bella just suddenly freak, realizing what was about to happen and just had to escape? Jake wondered if he would even have stopped when she had told him to. He recoiled himself slightly, making a few inches more in between them, doing his best keep Bella from feeling anything stronger then when she already did.

NOTESWow, talk about drama xD
I think I want to marry this thread, hehe.
It's a good thing Bella can't read his selfish
mind. Then he'd be in trouble
I can explain the word count... I
drank five rootbeers >.>
WORDS -hides- 3139.
TAGGED Jessi !
TUNES Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

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